Bowl of Cherries

2009-07-12T04:32:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,
I seem to disappear for a long while and then when I try to come back I have to fiddle around trying to get my password back - ho hum.
Matthew has now left school and will be starting College in September. He will be one of the youngest there as he only turns 16 a few days before. He is getting a bit bored at home and surprisingly doesn't seem keen to fill his time with any of the jobs I can find for him! He has had his first date with a very pretty girl from his old school called Daisy. They went to the pictures the other evening with his older brother being their chauffeur for the night. He hasn't really said much about it or whether he will be going out with her again, so watch this space for the wedding.
Talking about weddings, my dear niece Lisa got married in June. I was a sort of honorary mother of the bride and even wore a hat! We had a really wonderful time planning it over the last few months and I still find myself looking at wedding things, aw. I have attached a photo of the girls the evening before the wedding and also the photo and candle we placed near the cake in memory of their dear mum, my dear sister, Barb. The bride, Lisa, is on the right and her twin, Claire on the left and then Rosie in the middle. Isn't it a lovely picture of the bride and groom. Daniel is a lovely young man and they make a great couple. Lisa, Rosie and I stayed at the hotel where she got married the night before and the photo of the girls was taken at a Chinese restaurant which is a favourite of ours. We had a great evening and it was so relaxing being in the right place for the wedding the next day. Now I have got the hang of the photos I'll try and post a few more.
Rosie is having an impacted tooth out on Tuesday and we are all feeling nervous about it. We know its for the best as if its done now it will be better for her as she gets older and the roots form properly but its hard putting your baby in the doctor's hands! She is still a tiny girl. She is loving having her guitar lessons and is in a concert next weekend playing "Sweet Child of Mine".
We're off to Butlins again on the 8th of August. The kids are excited and I am looking forward to the rest. Its a shame my sister can't come this time but she has a very bad knee and is waiting for an operation and feels she cannot manage the journey. This is the first time she will not be with us for many years and I know we are missing her coming already. We always have a great time, always have a couple of rows and enjoy making up.
I have moved to a new office. Its called the Broadgate Tower and I am on the 29th floor - eeek. Its so nice though after our old building and its nice to work in lovely, clean surroundings.
My dear friend Audrey is getting more confused, if that is possible. Her husband is a difficult man but I don't think he has bad dementia but he does have prostrate problems. You won't believe that he has recently been rowing with her because she won't have sex with him .... yes - my god - he is 78! I couldn't believe what he was saying and in front of my Rosie too! I think the time has come really though that they should both have more help and maybe by going into a home where they can have more care.
Anyway, I don't know if this will save but I hope so. Lisa Jo, I am missing you and don't seem to be able to get to your blog at all, I think I need permissions. I hope you are well.
Lots of hugs to all my dear friends x hug for Gerry, hug for Yasmin x
Tells x
PS: This is how bad I am - I seem to have another blog here exactly the same name and posted this on there instead of here - oooooh.

Here I am again

2009-01-24T16:04:00.000-08:00

Well, I have not been around for a while have I?

I hope everyone is well. I am feeling good at the moment but as usual my life has been really busy, particularly with work. The new job has proved to be pretty tough and I feel I am being mangled at times. I have now been doing it for almost 4 months and have good days and bad days. I still wonder whether I have done the right thing but in some ways perhaps it is doing my brain some good and making it work harder. Physically though I am very tired and putting even more hours into it.

I am sorry to say that my friend, Audrey, is really quite lost to me now with her Alzheimers. I am having a lot of problems now in trying to focus on helping her and her husband. There have been confrontations with one of her carers and her family have also been rather high handed, even though they do practically nothing for her. I am so glad though that I got the care plan going for her where they get visits 3 times a day and but there have been problems about shopping not being got and making myself unpopular to achieve it. Too many cooks, eh? Anyway, I am trying to step back a bit and leave them all to it with myself just visiting at weekends now as I am satisfied that the careplan is working well at the moment.

Not much time for much at the moment as I am home late most nights but we did manage to get out for a nice meal last weekend with some old friends. I say old because we are all getting blooming old now!

I am looking forward to going to a friend's party in London on the 7th and Martin will be coming with me, to escort his old auntie safely round the tube system. Its being held in Kensington at a posh pub, so I am hoping for some posh nosh too.

Yasmin, you prompted me to write on here again. I hope you are well my dear and I will try to catch up a bit with everyone once I find out where they are on this system.

Take care everyone.

Tells x

This n' that

2008-09-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

Well hello there! Here I am again. I did try to put an entry on since going private but it seemed to get lost, so I hope you'll be able to read this one. The reason I went private really was for Matthew and Rosie's privacy but also because I was slightly worried who might be reading me, especially if it was anyone I didn't want to know our business. I know I have not added everyone but hope to sort this out soon and do apologise if you have initially been left off my update list.

I also apologise for not commenting much but all will be explained below.

We have had a really busy Summer, we went away to Butlins in Skegness in early August and then at the end of the month we stayed in a lovely beach house at Caister on Sea. Butlins was great but very cramped in a very small caravan really for 7 people. My niece and her boyfriend's feet were hanging outside their door every morning as their beds were so small, tee hee! It was great though, my sister, Christine, joined us and we left the caravan early every morning on little expeditions whilst the drinkers slept the morning away. Hmmm, Matthew and Rosie also slept late too but mainly from exhaustion and not from the drink! Chris and I felt very virtuous as we are now old we mainly drink diet coke, are both on blood pressure pills, which make us get up early every day anyway because we need a pee!

Paul came with us to Caister and it was nice to spend a holiday as a family together. Matthew and Rosie enjoyed lots of lay ins there too and Paul and were up with the lark, sitting on the balcony with our coffees and admiring our sea view. The cottage was perfect and felt quite luxurious after our caravan trip. I even had a washing machine there, so it was like heaven not having to take all the dirty washing home again.

On the night we got back from Caister I took a call from my niece to tell me that my sister, Chris, had been taken to hospital and feeling very poorly. I literally started shaking all over and got myself straight to the hospital. She had been fine in Skegness 2 weeks before and we had had such fun. Apparently, whilst Paul and I were away Chris had been having a pain in her side all week and was feeling really bad. Her blood pressure was over 200 and her diabetes was madly over the limit. Thank god that after 5 days, they managed to sort her out, she was on morphine for most of the time and has now started injecting herself with her diabetes drugs. She hadn't been getting on with her tablets before and I think she had been missing them out because they made her feel ill, in the end though it made her even worse. The pain in the side may be diverticulitis but they are still not sure if that is what it is. She still has the pain but has been xrayed and tested and it is not sinister. I still don't think I have got over the shock of her being so ill and it certainly pulls you up and makes you think how much you take for granted. She had a scare earlier again this year with her breast cancer and is such a trooper about all her ills. I don't know what I would do without her.

When we got back we attended the wedding of my goddaughter, Jodie. We had a fantastic day although it was sad that my dear friend, Mary and her husband, Ron, were not there to share that special day.

Work, as you know, has been manic but I have just got a promotion and will not be a secretary any longer. My new job starts on Monday and I have got a massive pay rise although this job deserves danger money as I am working almost directly for a crazy fella, who is very volotile. I am going to be like the departmental co-ordinator, she who is supposed to have the answer for everything at her fingertips and I'll also still be supervising the secretaries too. It was a hard decision to make because I know I am laying myself open to some big stress but it is nice to know that I don't have to print out my bosses in-boxes any more and do filing and heavy lifting. I'll let you know how I get on.

I am trying again to attach some photos, they are of our hols in Caister.

Hugs to you all, dear friends.

Tells x

oh no. not her!

2008-07-31T23:55:00.000-07:00

I have been a terrible journaller but here I am again. I do apologise for not commenting and once again, think I will have to start again and clear the lots of alerts I have. I did see that Chuck has passed away, which saddened me as he was always so upbeat and alert. His daughter's entry was very uplifting.

Things have been manic as usual here but we are all ok. The children are on holiday and enjoying lazy days. Matthew has been going fishing with Martin, getting up at the crack of dawn and really enjoying time spent with his big brother. Martin still hasn't got himself a job but is doing private work which is helping out until he does get settled again.

Rosie is fine. She has started learning the guitar and is making terrific progress. She has learned quite a few chords and can knock out a tune from song books now which is great fun, imagine if you can her playing and me singing (wailing, more like) achey breakey heart! I keep teasing her that we can be a double act.

Work is fine. I have news. I am not going to be a secretary any longer, they have offered me a more managerial role with a massive rise within our Group and I will be starting it mid Sept/beginning October. It will be marvellous for me, no more blimming filing and although it will be a challenge it will be good for my brain. Basically its doing a lot of things I do already which have been extra to my job and it will be great getting paid for it! It will be strange though not being a secretary after all these years. Its obviously given my confidence a real boost and its at times like this you wish you could tell your mum and dad that something good has happened.

Today its 6 years since I lost my precious Barbara. I had a few tears yesterday remembering our last days together at the hospital. The children don't realise what day it is and I won't remind them, why make them feel bad too?

Rosie is coming to work with me today as the boys have gone fishing. She is really excited as she is very fond of some of the people I work with having got to know them socially. I will take her to lunch and for a walk down the famous "Petticoat Lane" market which is near my work.

We are off to Butlins at Skegness next weekend. It should be manic, 8 of us in an 8 berth caravan! I have heard that some acts from Britain's got talent will be performing, so that should be fun. I know they have a health spa thing there and hope to get a massage in if I can. My sister, Chris, is coming with us and she is always good company, it will be nice to share some time with her. I do miss her at work, it has been a year now since she was made redundant but she is enjoying her retirement more than she thought she would.

Has anyone been to see Mama Mia? Oh what a fantastic film, I couldn't believe it, I sat with a cheshire cat grin on my face through it all and then at the end everyone in the cinema clapped before they left. I have never seen that happen before at the cinema, it was as if we had been at a live show. I plan to buy it on DVD when it comes out and I know it will be a great film for my collection.

Eeek, I lost a very big filling the other week and had to brave going back to the dentist. Imagine my horror when they knew my name on the reception, this can only mean (a) I must be known well there as the No.1 coward in this village or (b) I must have the worst teeth in this village. Hmmm, can't think of a (c). Anyway, I went for the appointment and had it done but managed to escape without having the teeth cleaning done .... I have another appointment on 2nd Sept but may chicken out. We'll see.

All my dear friends, thanks for being patient until I catch up. I am so fond of you all.

Hugs, Tells x

Popping up for air!

2008-06-18T03:09:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone and apologies for not making an entry for so long. I couldn't believe it when I saw my last entry was in April. I do hope everyone is well.

I seem to have got so embroiled in work and spend a lot of time from home online to work and although I have a little time to comment here and there, so more apologies if I have not been and visited you.

Billy, my yorkie, was very poorly during April. He woke one day literally seized up and had to have quite a few anti inflamatory injections and pills to get him thru it. It was quite pitiful as he was crying, couldn't bark and kept falling over. I was crying too. I spent three weeks sleeping on the settee downstairs with him and thank goodness he is almost back to normal. He made my heart stop the other day jumping off the back of the settee (about 3 feet) and landing heavily ... he thinks he is a cat. Ooooh.

I had a trip to Geneva again the other week with work and stayed in a a beautiful boutique hotel. Shame I didn't get longer than one night in the 6ft bed! I must tell you there are a lot of cobbles and hills in Geneva and after walking on them and then standing at a reception type do, my feet felt like they had been put through a mangle! Heres a link to the hotel I stayed at, it was in the old town of Geneva and its a very hilly area as I said. It was the first time I had flown from London City Airport and it was all very smooth. Its a while since I flew on a chartered flight rather than a cheapie, so was thrilled to get given a free roll and drink and then some chocolate to follow on Swissair.

http://www.hotel-les-armures.ch/

I am at home today because Rosie has to go to hospital this afternoon for that tooth that is growing in a strange position. We went about 2 years ago but are getting a second opinion because our dentist wants the tooth above out and the orthodontist wants it built up and we are stuck in the middle, so will be getting this expert advice hopefully today. We are wary of taking it out because previously we were told that the operation could affect her lips because of nerves near the area. We will see but we are very against an operation inany event.

Rosie has started to learn to play the guitar and has had two lessons now. She can play some of the chords to wonderwall, few more and I'll be singing along and appearing in Britain's got Talent!

I have managed to get my living room decorated (almost ....) and also some new curtains up, four more poles to go up, watch this space, Paul is being difficult!

As I said, work is crazy and seems to be taking over my life at the moment which isn't really the balance I want. There are lots of ego's going crazy too and its sooooo nice to be at home today enjoying a bit of a break from it. I am determined not to go on line and get involved.

Wishing you all well my dear friends.

Hugs, Tells x

Where the heck has she been?

2008-04-09T13:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, its been a while! I have had the worst lurgy ever and have been feeling rotten for the last 2 weeks. It all started when I was away in sunny Yarmouth in the freezing cold caravan with 2 inches of snow outside. I struggled on until the Thursday but by then the children and I had had enough, so we came home and I continued being ill here. I had all last week off and managed eventually to get a doctor's appointment. Do you know it really gets me mad that its so difficult to manage to see a doctor .... Anyway, I got my antibiotics and they did help but I am still not right and have lost my wonderful singing voice. I think Matthew is glad I cannot shout at the moment though!

We did have a nice time in the caravan but it was so cold that Matthew slept in the lounge area every night and Rosie and I huddled together in the bedroom. I suppose I was living in cloud cuckoo land hoping for good weather in March but I certainly didn't expect the snow. Rosie enjoyed her 13th birthday though as I booked a cab to take us into town and we had a slap up meal and managed to get her a friends poster in a frame that she has been looking for for a long time and Matthew was very happy as he got a Spurs framed poster too.

I was manic in the caravan telling them to be careful and who caused the most damage? Yes, me! I tripped and sent a cup of black coffee all over the yellow cotton curtains in the lounge and for good measure broke the cup at the same time. So, I had to sponge the curtain off and dry it with the hair drier, you'd never have known I had done it by the time I finished. Then, the search for the tea cup began. I spent 4 days scouring Yarmouth, all the department stores, charity shops, anywhere that sold crockery! Did I find it, no. I did own up before I left and they were ok about it. Good job I never told them what I had done to their curtains, eh?

I must mention the medal I won for disco dancing. We went to the club house on the first night and at that point we had Martin and also Lisa and Daniel with us too (they only stayed for the night). It was a big hall with loads of tables and a disco playing. There were about 20 people there, including the bar staff. It was freezing there too, so we all started dancing and I was then presented with my medal. I shall always wear it with pride.

We came back to the camp by bus one day and goodness knows why we walked off in the wrong direction. After about 20 minutes I realised that I didn't recognise anything and when we walked back I realised we had got off at the right place but just walked the wrong way, duh. Anyway, we then were waiting to cross the road and where the snow had melted there were big puddles and a car went by and literally soaked Matthew from head to foot. That was it, I nearly fell on the floor laughing and when Rosie heard me she was screaming with laughter too. A small smile played on Matthew's face, he really took it in good part. Both Rosie and I actually wet ourselves as we laughed so much and we had to waddle back to the caravan to get showered. I was laughing even more as I told Rosie that it was all downhill now she was a teenager and we had both done waht old ladies do.

We had some bad news last week when Martin was laid off from Tescos. They have cut 800 jobs in the local offices and as he was last in on his team, he was first out. He has some private work he is doing at the moment but I hope he gets something else sorted out soon. Meanwhile, he will not be bored as he will be doing some decorating here which is well overdue. I did buy paint about 3 years ago for our living room and it has never been done .... so, off I have gone and bought some more, lets hope it gets on the walls this time. So, it is operation clear out at the moment in readiness.

Matthew has joined a running club and is really enjoying it. He is doing it two nights a week and still has lots of energy when he gets home. He is growing up so quickly and I have just got back from a parents' evening about work experience for him. It only seems yesterday that he was 8 years old and came to live with me.

I went back to work this week and as usual have an awful backlog of filing etc., but am trying not to get depressed about it and just working my way through. I thank my lucky stars that I am a well paid filing clerk, tee hee! It was nice to see my friends again and not so nice to see the ones I don't like there!

Such exciting news though, one of my bosses is taking Rosie and I and my friend, Alex, away to a health spa hotel in May as a treat. Its called Cowley Manor and is in the Cotswolds. A bit posher than the caravan, methinks I will have to get myself something nice to wear to dinner and there will be no medals for disco dancing. Heres the link:

The contemporary country hotel in the Cotswolds

I have never had a beauty treatment in my life and am playing safe and going for a facial. No waxing for this chick. I'll let you know how I get on.

Once again I am very behind with all your journals and do apologise but am trying to comment here and there and catch up.

Hugs to all my friends and wishing you all a very good week.

oooh I have been away a while

2008-03-15T08:03:00.000-07:00

Well here I am again, sorry its been so long. I am now well after one of the worst lurgies I have had for a while. I have been extremely busy at work, not getting home until late most evenings and working on the computer from home too. We have been very short at work since one of the secretaries left and I am so glad that her replacement is coming on 31st March. Hey, she is probably another crazy one but at least we'll have a bum on a seat!

Next week we are off to Yarmouth for our caravan hol. I am hoping the weather is good. If its like today, it will be fine, at least its not windy or cold. We have lots we can do there whatever the weather, there is an indoor swimming pool at the caravan site and we are near to lots of activities in Yarmouth, crazy golf, cinema, funfairs, shops! I plan to do a lot of sleeping and the children are getting good at sleeping late, so perhaps we will just all sleep all day and night and not move anywhere.

Rosie will be 13 whilst we are away and so we will have a good day celebrating whatever the weather.

I have been out busily buying her a lot of new clothes over the last week or so as she is growing so quickly. Today if we ever get out, we intend to get her some new trousers.

Matthew has been very busy. He has joined an athletics club and is out running twice a week, he is due to finish at Scouts this summer, so he'll be kept busy in any event. He had a trip to Devon last weekend to camp and meet up with his old Scout leader, who was a very kind man and we miss him very much. It will probably be the last time Matthew ever sees him. He came back exhausted late last Sunday night and we had to quickly repack as he had a woodland survival course with his school the next day for 2 days in Derbyshire! Just about keeping up with the blimming washing here for him. He continues to grow at the rate of knots and is now 6ft with size 11 shoes, arghhh, he is not 15 until the end of August.

Martin celebrated his 29th birthday last week and Rosie made him a lovely cake! She coloured the sponge blue and it looked rather strange but she has a light touch and it tasted divine.

I am very behind with commenting and now have 781 messages to look at, please bear with me whilst I try to catch up, hmmmm!

Heres a picture of my little great great niece, Mia, aw she is so cute.

Hugs to you all until next time, Tells x

Good news

2008-02-18T12:04:00.000-08:00

Christine has just called and the news is good. Her specialist says he is sure all is well. She has another appointment in 4 months to check again, so is being well looked after, I feel such a relief. I have lost two dear sisters and cannot lose another to this terrible illness.

Meanwhile, I am feeling more bunged up than yesterday, so off to bed with a nice hot water bottie.

Thank you all, dear friends, for your support. Your kind words have brought a tear to my eye and a feeling of warmth.

Hugs, Tells x

Feeling bunged up!

2008-02-17T14:00:00.000-08:00

Dear friends,

Just a quickie as I am off to bed soon. I do apologise for being so behind but I have been extremely busy lately.

Please keep your fingers crossed tomorrow for my lovely sister, Christine. We have had a bit of a scare with her recent check up. I was confident that we were out of the woods now as its been over 6 years but hell no. Chris had a masectomy done but only on one breast. The specialist found a lump on her other one the other week and then she had a special scan done and has to go back tomorrow. Now she has finished at work, she paid for this otherwise she would have had to wait 6 weeks on the NHS. The chap who did the scan said everything seemed to be ok with the lump but we need to hear that from the specialist tomorrow evening. She is calm but I am like a crazy woman with worry.

I'll let you know whats happening.

Hugs, Tells x

So, so tired

2008-01-17T13:13:00.000-08:00

Oooh I am a bit tired ... only had an hour and a half sleep last night. My feet are killing me from a rotten journey standing all the way home on the train last night too.

Also ... I have had my hair cut today and think its a bit short. Its still a bobby type of thing but I will have to go and have a fiddle with it, so it looks more like my own hair rather than this stunning, fuzz free style.

I have been a busy bee. I had to go into work on Saturday, so had a short weekend. Then on Monday, got up feeling really sick. If it were not for the fact that I am now 52 and very well past my menopause (sorry chaps) I would definitely have thought that I was pregnant. I ended up on the settee all day cuddled up to little Billy, who was very pleased to have me home. I then took full advantage of Paul when he came home and allowed him to cook the dinner whilst I stayed in the same position a la settee.

I bet you are wondering where the little bit of French is coming from. Je m'pelle Tells, deux cafe silvoo plait (hmmm, very bad French spelling here). ou et l'toilette silvoo plait. Well, have been practising because I am off to Geneva on Tuesday for work. Yes, I have a very important task to do upon my arrival in the land of the alps. No, not skiing or anything fun, I am .... unpacking boxes! Hmmm, I am sure my talents could be better used but this is what has been decided and to be quite honest it will be a lovely break as I will be there with my favourite boss who got married recently. We plan to go for a lovely meal on Tuesday night and then I'll be flying back late Wednesday afternoon. My firm has an office out there which has recently moved (or shoud I say, relocated, now I work for an American firm, eh?). We also have a flat, so myself and Suzanne will stay there. We keep giggling and saying what fun we'll have but we must try to remember that I am there to do the boxes, so will have to do some I suppose.

Rosie and I are off to see Joseph in the West End of London on Thursday evening. I just hope the trains will be working ok as Paul will bring her up to Liverpool Street to meet me after work and then he'll go back on the train. She is too young to travel alone with all the weird people you can come across. We'll probably go fora meal first. We have had the tickets for ages and the chap playing Joseph won the part through a BBC tv show on which Andrew Lloyd Webber was involved. He is very good and I hope he is on the night we go and not a stand in. We are really looking forward to it especially because Rosie played Joseph in her last year at primary school and we know all the songs.

So, apart from aching feet, short hair and feeling absolutely worn out, sitting here quite happy really.

Hugs to all my friends.

If you really want to see this naughty picture below of my Polish cousin, Wojtek, you'll have to turn your head sidewards"

Tells x

Happy new year

2008-01-05T12:10:00.000-08:00

Have booked the above for our Easter break for me and the children. This is what a caravan looks like LJ! It looks so sweet. Its near a place called Great Yarmouth, about 3 hours drive from here.

We had a lovely Christmas but it was over too quickly. One sadness is that I didn't hear from my brother. I left a message on his answerphone on Christmas day but nothing. It hurts more that I know he visited one of our nieces this week. He hasn't contacted my sister, Chris, either. She is of a firmer nature than I am and says to just leave it now. I have his presents here ... I suppose if he doesn't come by the end of January or doesn't contact me in any way, I shall just have to eat his biscuits! So sad, when there are only 3 of us left.

Apart from that sadness, we are now looking to this New Year and hoping for good things. The children go back to school this week, Rosie goes on Monday and Matthew on Wednesday. I think they have had long enough off now and need to get back into a worthwhile routine of school and homework, ha ha!

Martin cooked the dinner on Christmas day, so I was thoroughly spoilt really. I didn't have to do a thing except eat it and very nice it was too. We got some lovely presents and I now have an ipod, so I can get my revenge on all those who have tormented me for the last year or so with their loud music. Yey, I can play them at their own game.

Settled in here for a nice quietweekend, have just made potato salad and chicken and everyone feels at peace! Lots of jobs to do tomorrow but today is a restful day for me.

Some terrible news at work this week. A former workmate collapsed and died last Sunday aged 36 with a brain anurysm. He left behind two little children under 6 years old. So tragic and I feel so sorry for his little family.

Why do I always end on a sad note?

Wishing you all a happy weekend.

Hugs, Tells x

Am I crazy!!!

2007-12-23T21:03:00.000-08:00

Just thought I'd put an entry in as I happen to be up, yes, since blimming 3.30 am. I must be excited about Santa coming, ha ha.

Here are some photos of our visit to TJI Fridays with the family yesterday. These are all my dear sister's children together plus her little grand daughter, Cheyanne, who she never saw. We let some balloons off outside in her honour when we had finished and left to go home. It was a really lovely afternoon and I think we'll probably do this again next year.

MY BARBARA

Ok, off to do some jobs as I am off to work in an hour or so. Once again, I wish you all a really lovely Christmas and wishing hard here for good times for all.

Hugs and love, Tells x

Well hello there!

2007-12-22T03:44:00.000-08:00

Well here I am again. I can't believe how long ago it was I made an entry!

Thank you for your Christmas cards and ooooh Wendy, you made my day with your little parcel, thank you so much. Its on my tree as we speak and I will post a photo on here soon of it.

Auntie Midge's funeral seems a long time ago now. It was a very strange affair really. Midge was very upset years ago when her sister converted into being a Jehovas witness after she emigrated to Australia. Midge was a very forthright lady and made no secret of her views on anything. When her sister visited, Midge was very rude about her meeting up with her church friends etc. So, we were very surprised and a bit shocked that she had a Mormon funeral - I think Paul's brother must have converted and as he arranged the funeral, that is what it was. I could imagine her spluttering in her coffin at not having had a Christian service but hey, Paul's brother ran the show! We also found out that we were not being spoken to by one of Paul's cousins and her daughter .... well what a fun day it was, I can tell you! Paul's cousin's sister died about 10 years ago and left a young son, Jake, aged 7. She had remarried and had been with her new husband, Graham, for about 2 years by then. This sister of Paul's cousin and her daughter have decided not to talk to us because we remained close friends with Graham after Jackie died and tried to support him as best we could. Her sister's husband would not have the little boy stay or anything as he was a miserable old so and so. That is why Jake was left in Graham's care. Graham went through a lot, with the support of his lovely family, to bring up Jake and give him a good life. I could personally never understand why her sister did not devote more time and effort to Jake. Anyway, we kept close friends with Graham and when Jake was 15 Graham met a new lady and decided to marry her. That is when things went badly wrong. This was when Jake decided he did not like her (a bit of jealousy, I think) and this is when the daughter of Paul's cousin started to say to Jake that he could move in with her (this did not happen but thoroughly unsettled Jake). The upshot was that the week before the wedding Jake signed himself into care and walked away from Graham. This was at about the time when the children came to live with us. What is funny is that I saw Paul's cousin about a year ago and she was very pleasant and all of a sudden we are not popular apparently because we went to Graham's wedding . I feel very hurt because I was always so supportive with her and her family. I was so fond of her mother and her sister and spent a lot of time with them in their times of need. But I suppose there is no reasoning, eh? It was a very strange day altogether. Lots of other things happened that day but I can't go on all day about them.

I have been busy (hmm, on my broomstick). The filing clerk at work is no more ... hoooray! We are better off without her and I hope she has a merry Christmas too, baaah humbug. I have to work on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve just for half a day, which is a pain because my main station is closed, so I have to get off the train halfway up and then go on the underground ... hmmm. I have to go though as it is really my turn to go in.

The children are getting very excited about Christmas especially now that they have broken up from school. As usual, I have spent far more than I should have done on them ... I realise this as I am wrapping things up. Luckily I save every month into a Christmas Club, so this makes Christmas easier. We have Lisa (one of the twins) and her boyfriend coming for Christmas Dinner and also Keith, who is Martin's dad. Paul has already given me the speech about how many people we can cram into this little house .... yes, they are all staying!!!

Tomorrow I make the bigos. Yes, every Christmas I keep up the tradition of making this Polish Hunter's Stew. Paul is my main peeler and chopper! Here is a recipe I got off the net (there are so many variations) if you are interested! Christmas is not the same unless the house smells of bigos! I add all different meats to mine, including pork and beef. I also add tomato sauce, carrots, cooking apples etc etc. I intend making a couple of big pots, so you can imagine this is not a cheap dish to make. I must say that it also gives you really good clear out, better than colonic irrigation. all that sauerkraut, hey! This dish is so good, even the Engish like it, my old neighbour drives here every Christmas Eve to pick up her portion, tee hee!! Martin gets territorial about it and glares at everyone who has a portion, ahhh. I am also being taken out to lunch tomorrow by Martin. Just the family, which will be lovely.

HUNTERS STEW (Bigos)

50g butter
2 onions, peeled and chopped
1 jar sauerkraut
1 can tomatoes, peeled
1 small white cabbage
300 ml strong beef stock
250g smoked sausage
5 to 6 pork ribs
salt and pepper

Melt butter in a saucepan and fry the onions until golden. Rinse the sauerkraut in cold water, drain thoroughly and mix with the onions. Add the tomatoes. Chop the cabbage finely and mix in. Add the stock, stirring well, and then the pork ribs. Slice the sausage and add into the stew. Allow to simmer on low heat for one hour. Season to taste. Remove from heat and leave covered for 24 hours. Refrigerate and reheat before serving. Serves 8.
Note: If you prefer the dish to be more sour, add more sauerkraut

I went to my friend at work's wedding in Darlington recently. It was so lovely to be there with her for her day. The wedding was held at Guisborough Hall, which was a wonderful place and very atmospheric. Here are a couple of photos from the weekend. You'll see that Rosie is standing by a really old fashioned coach. These were used to take us from Guisborough Hall to the Church (took about an hour) and was great fun. We had a wonderful day and it was a great wedding. It was nice to have a lot of friends there too. I won't even tell you about the journey home though, suffice to say that I will travel lighter next time.

Well dear friends, I am sorry I am so far behind with everything. I have 691 alerts showing up. I have got to tell you all that I do appreciate your friendship and do so enjoy each and every one of you all as well. I wish each all of you the best of times this Christmas and send all my wishes for a healthy and happy new year. PS: If him upstairs is listening, please give my friend L-J a break will ya?

What a rambling entry this is ...

Hugs, Tells x

This and that

2007-11-20T00:59:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am, sorry for the absence again but have been running round in my usual headless chicken style.

We are off today to Auntie Midge's funeral in Margate. She is Paul's mum's sister. We lost Paul's mum at the age of 53, so young. Midge was a very forthright lady. Stood about 5ft 4ins tall and quite pretty. She was single for many years and then married a Polish man, John. He was a great fellow, of course we had a lot in common with me being Polish as well. Midge liked the Polish slant and used to speak in Polish, well sort of a Polish to English people!! John unfortunately died after they had been married for about 10 years and Midge really found it hard to adjust without him. She eventually moved to Harlow as she had a cousin living nearby but with Midge's nature they had a big falling out and never spoke again. When Paul's brother remarried he got very close to Midge and encouraged her to sell her house and give him £100,000 to put into a bed and breakfast venture he was starting in Margate. We all tried to talk to her about it but she was having none of it. She was lonely and couldn't wait to live with her favourite nephew. Well, within a year she had been committed by him to a mental health unit! She had thought she was going into respite care whilst they went away on holiday. She never returned to the bed and breakfast, which I believe was sold because it wasn't making any money. She then went into an old folks' home and passed away peacefully after morning tea the other week. God knows, its going to be difficult to see Paul's brother today if he is there, Paul hasn't got a lot of time for him anyway and I hope he doesn't end up punching him on the nose.

Matthew went away to a scout camp this weekend, it was nice because one of his original leaders was there with his troop. He moved to Cornwall the other year and I know Matthew was really pleased to see him again as he was so kind to him when he joined up and very understanding of his special needs. I am not too sure that the leaders now appreciate that Matthew has no regard for personal safety, especially when he came home the other week after going to Scouts and they had been running around the field next to the scout hut and he tore his legs to shreds on the brambles! It was terrible on this camp because one of the girls in his troop broke her leg ..... that could so easily have been Matthew with his gung ho style. Matthew finishes at Scouts this year because he is too old. I don't think he'll be going to Explorers though. I am looking into getting him into a running club, that boy can run like a gazelle and I am sure he'd really do well. He goes out jogging with Martin and Martin is amazed at his energy. Matthew now aged 14 and 3 months is 5ft 11ins with a size blimming 10 shoe!

Rosie is doing fine. We met up with her older sisters this weekend and had a lovely time going round all the charity shops and having a slap up lunch. I got Rosie an Adrian Mole book and she is really enjoying reading it.

We took Rosie to see an ELO tribute band on Friday night. Oooh was she bored ... I must admit that although the sound was good, the lead singer was like an old bloke you'd see strutting around at a disco ... he really got on my nerves.

On Saturday we also went to our local theatre and saw a play called "Communicating Doors". It was really funny, it was about a hotel room with a cupboard, which people went into and went backwards and forwards in time and all their lives were interconnected. It was a scream and I thoroughly recommend it if you see it playing anywhere.

My new filing clerk is a great disappointment. I knew within 2 days but they say that I have to give her a chance .... what??? Anyway, apparently I have to give them specifics, so am making up a daily list. Its so frustrating and such a waste of my valuable time with her but if thats what I have to do .. She is a lovely lady but I might as well just do everything myself.

Tomorrow night we are having a get together for my 30 years at the firm. I am sharing the occasion with my dear friend and boss who is getting married in 3 weeks time. Its just our department and is going to be in the local Slug and Lettuce. The partners in my group are paying for it as the firm was too stingy do do anything to mark the momentous occasion! I really like the people I work with and only hoping the fee earners will stop fee earning and get there at a reasonable time. Last year, when we had our Christmas dinner evening, we secretaries sat and waited and waited and got more and more merry until they eventually arrived at 8.30 pm when we were supposed to eat at 7pm! I shall pace myself tomorrow night as I haven't done a lot of drinking since then!

I can't believe that Christmas is so close ... hmmm, got a couple of scarves for the twins on Saturday and have bought a few books for Rosie but that is it so far. Perhaps I'll get a move on this weekend.

Next weekend will be a busy one. I am planning to go to Walthamstow market. Its a wonderful street market in East London, about 2 miles long and full of stalls selling this, that and the other. Its a wonderful ethnic mix too. It is also full of charity shops, lots of new books for me, ooooh. The fruit stalls are to die for and plenty of bargains to be had. They have a Pie and Mash shop, which we will be visiting too.

I am still dreaming about a caravan but no luck with the lottery tickets yet. I would like a lovely caravan and they cost so much and then with site fees etc., I think its beyond my financial limits until I do win the lottery. Paul is fed up with me going on about it, so keeping quieter about it until I win the lottery, ha!

Rosie has a new bed coming this weekend. She has been sleeping in my old one! My old one is now 32 years old, can you believe. I remember going with my mum up to Angel Road in Edmonton to a big warehouse to get it and choosing very carefully a nice big single bed with a very comfortable mattress. I have loved it ever since. I used to go and sleep in it if I was ill and didn't want to disturb Paul with my coughing, I would banish him there if he was ill too. Everyone has slept in that bed, my dear sisters Andrea and Barb, my mum, Uncle Bob, Auntie Midge, Paul's sister, Pat, all my students who used to stay with us, the Queen (only joking) and many others until Rosie came to live here. It has certainly had plenty of use and I am very sad to see it go but the mattress has had it and also the base unit is very sad. End of an era. I may cry as it is taken out. Farewell my dear old bed, happy memories.

Oh well, wittering on now. I shall bid adieu and catch up with you again soon. Very behind on my alerts again but will get there in the end.

Hugs to you all.

Terry x

Reposting as I think AOL was playing up

2007-11-07T23:18:00.000-08:00

I have been reading a journal that has really touched and humbled me. Heres the link, go along and encourage this wonderful woman. http://journals.aol.co.uk/spriteverdixx/a-journey-of-another-kind..../entries/2007/11/06/like-buses...../912 I have read it from the beginning and have started commenting. If ever I moan about anything mundane, please slap me!

Things here all calm and quiet! It seems though that things are livening up and there is trouble coming at work, I can feel it in my bones and by the very atmosphere of the place. I fear my new colleague will be leaving and it will cause us chaos but hey, its only a little thing in the grand scheme of life. I shall keep you posted.

Martin started his new job on Monday and says he feels like he has gone home. I really hope this works out for him as I know he has been so bored at home and needs to work to get his finances sorted out.

The children are back at school now after half term and we are all feeling pretty tired. Not long though and it will be the Christmas hols and the merry go round of finding all the presents. I just can't believe how quickly the year goes by.

I have just read the book "Abandoned" by Anya Peters. She wrote an online blog whilst homeless. This girl had a cruel, abusive and loveless childhood, I had to keep closing the book and it took me a while to get through it. Heres an adddress for her journal, its wanderingscribe.blogspot.com

Well, on that cheerful note off I go!

Hugs, Tells xx

Humbled

2007-11-06T11:28:00.000-08:00

Well, on that cheerful note off I go!

Hugs, Tells xx

Kicking up the leaves

2007-10-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

We had a nice time this week. I decided to take Rosie to Hampton Court Palace in Surrey on Friday. Matthew didn't fancy going round a historic palace, so he stayed at home with Martin. It was quite a long journey from here as Paul wasn't keen that I should drive, hmmm. It took about 2 hours by train and tube but we eventually made it there. Words cannot describe the wonderful aura of the place and knowing we were walking down corridors that Henry XIII had actually walked down with his entourage was mind blowing. Hampton Court has a very famous maze but we were very disappointed with it as it was rather small. The photos above were taken in the wonderful grounds and we had a lot of fun messing around with the leaves! It was a thoroughly enjoyable day but so tiring. I thought I was going to drop off on the way home on the train, so best I didn't drive. Rosie was complaining at how worn out she was and I pointed out to her that I had 40 years on her and to imagine how I was feeling. I think you need to spend a couple of days at this wonderful palace to see everything. Rosie was enthralled and kept asking, do you think the King touched this door, etc, etc. She loves history and makes me realise how uneducated I am! Perhaps I may learn something through her now. We sat near the fountain and had a chat about how Queen Victoria opened this Palace to the public and there were photos around of the visitors at that time. We discussed how we would be long gone and that the public would still visit the Palace ... quite a weird feeling but hey, thats history!

I feel I should get a blimming medal for the ironing I have done today, just thought I'd mention it.

At work things seems to have improved. My new colleague came back during the week and has seemed to get to grips with not only her illness but also with her heart. One of our chaps left on Wednesday and after I had finished my overtime I took her down to the bar and got the dj to play "Things can only get better" and he started his smoke machine and I got her to bop around. She did smile and I think she is well on the mend now. They have had a major swap around with who works for who (not me, ha ha) and hopefully all will be happier for everyone. Joy of joy, we have our new filing clerk starting on Tuesday ... I sat in with the interviews and she appears to be a really nice lady, who has been looking for a job for a while. I know she will be very excited and I am pleased for her.

I must tell you about one of the interviews I sat in on. As soon as I entered the room my eyes were drawn to it. What could it have been??? I have never seen such a lot of green on anyone's nose bits on their glasses before! It was a vivid green and I just could not take my eyes off it. Maybe she was so shortsighted that she couldn't see the green on her glasses when she put them on. Made me feel rather queezy and put me right off. Moral of the story, if you are going on an interview get your greens sorted! Oooh.

Hey, the sun hasn't come out but Martin has just gone in the kitchen and says he will make the dinner. Oh yes! I am now going to sit down and read my book and be a lady of leisure.

Hugs to all.

Tells x

Here I am!

2007-10-21T05:55:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, I have been so busy lately I just can't keep up, at the moment looking at 835 alerts and so am slow on commenting!

All is ok here but since I was ill I have been running around catching my tail. I also got it into my head that I'd maybe like to get a caravan for us for our hols. There was an absolute bargain - or so I was told - that got my juices going and I was bitterly disappointed when I saw it and it was really awful. I drove the length and breadth of Essex a couple of Saturdays ago looking at caravans and caravan sites. Since then, I have also been scouring adverts and realise that I probably can't afford one anyway which is sad. I had visions of a little home from home that I could disappear to. Some of them are on sites that cost over £3,000 site fees a year. I just don't know how people can afford that plus the council tax, insurance etc. So, at the moment although I am enjoying looking I know I can't touch! We'll just have to rent a caravan again next time.

Work has been manic. The new lady who joined us is having terrible problems as she has just split up from her partner, who she was looking forward to retiring with next year. She has also got the virus I had and collapsed in tears last week and couldn't cope with all the pressure. Luckily her doctor has given her 2 weeks off and I hope she'll be able to get herself calmer and make some decisions about her future with the space away from work. However, this leaves us all in the pooh as we have to cover her job, which she was quite behind on too. One of her bosses is leaving and her room needs sorting, files putting away etc. Oh well! I went into work yesterday and did 10 hrs overtime clearing it but still a lot to do but can't bear the thought of going in today while the sun is shining. Also, I have tomorrow off with the children as its half term, so my poor friends have to cover me too.

I am a great great auntie. Mia was born this week but I am not sure if I can get a photo on. My great niece had to have a caesarian in the end and we are looking forward to meeting the newest member of our family tomorrow when she gets home. She was born the same day as Connie's little grandson, Milo, ahhhhh.

Martin starts back at Tescos on Nov 5th. I hope it works out for him. He didn't go back to the other job .... he hatedit there. He was supposed to get up and do a car boot today to get rid of some of his stuff but hmmm its nearly quarter to two and he is still asleep. Rosie and I were up with the lark and I was sad to just miss a bargain bike up the car boot by half an hour! I have decided that I need some exercise, so my next project now that the caravan buying has come to an abrupt end is that I will get myself a bike. I will leave no stone unturned until I get myself back on wheels. I can see myself sylph like already.

Meanwhile, most exciting event of the weekend is that I have got a new iron. I have just had a quick go but am not that impressed, the ironing is no more fun with it!

So, dear friends wishing you all a lovely sunny Sunday as it is here!

Hugs, Tells x

Getting overthe lurgy

2007-09-22T04:28:00.000-07:00

Hello, I am back! I have not been well at all over the last week or so and had to go to the doctor the other day and luckily after having some antibiotics, I now feel like myself again. We have all been ill except Matthew ....

I am sooooo far behind at work, having had a lot of time off in August and now having only done a few days in September. Goodness knows how I'll ever catch up but hey, I will have fun trying.

Had a busy morning tidying up because Lisa, my niece, is coming down for the afternoon. I know she is hoping to go bowling but I don't think Rosie or I are up to that yet. Oh well, we'll see.

Martin is not that happy with his new job and I hope that he'll start looking around for something else. He took that one quite quickly and apart from the long journey he has, it sounds as if he works with some really rude people. You'd think with all the employment laws and man management courses things would be different but it seems its the norm for the management there to go round shouting. Hmmm.

Matthew and Rosie are doing fine. Both back at school now and busy with homework etc. Matthew has quite a lot coming up with Scouts. I got a letter from the Scouts the other day for a trip next year to Scotland for 10 days - only £450! I don't know if we'll let him go or not. We have booked a beach house at Caister for a week at the end of August next year. We came across it this year when we were at Hemsby. Its an old fisherman's cottage with a balcony looking over the dunes to the sea. Luckily the owners were about and gave us a tour, I am really looking forward to a quiet break there. Paul will be coming with us - he can't stand holiday camps - and I hope he may get a bit of fishing in.

He is very down at the moment because his shop made a loss this year. Its really difficult because a lot of people also use the internet to buy plumbing supplies now and he just can't compete.

Anyway, hope you are all ok. I am still trying to catch up with alerts - only 255 to go.

Hugs, Terry x

Back from holiday

2007-09-02T03:32:00.000-07:00

Here I am on a lovely and sunny Sunday and back from my hols. No, I am not even going to mention the washing today, tee hee.

We had a wonderful time on this break away to Hemsby in Norfolk. It didn't start so well well I picked up the keys to our apartment (or compartment as Matthew kept calling it). When I opened the door it stank of damp. Even worse, there was no carpet on the floor just filthy looking floorboards and when I went into the bedrooms it had black patches on the wall and when I touched the walls they felt wet. I couldn't believe it. I went stomping back to the reception and asked to see the manager. She told me that there was nothing else! What, I had driven 3 and a half hours and I felt myself getting very angry. Eventually, after half an hour, she came up with another apartment and thankfully this one was perfect. I intend to write to them and make a complaint. It completely ruined the beginning of the holiday. I was just so glad my sister wasn't with us as she joined us on Sunday. Our car was already packed out ... imagine if she had been dropped with all her stuff and was waiting for us and then we had to drive home ... Ooooh.

We had a very busy time, visiting lots of beaches and lots of fun fairs. We even managed to find a car boot. The only day that was miserable was Friday and then we amused ourselves by going round a caravan park and looking at the ones for sale. I would like to buy one but I know I'd never have time to go there and also the drive would be too much.

Chris was wonderful company and it was nice for her as she finished work on Friday and it took her mind off it all. She ended up quite happy with her package from work and I think in a way it is relief for her not to have to get up early in the morning and struggle with the blimming trains any more.

I won the bingo twice, almost £85, which we shared and it paid for a lot of treats.

Matthew was hard work at times and didn't want to smile for the camera much, hmmmmm, age related or what? He was 14 on Friday and you can see his little cake.

I haven't got much time to write much today as so much to do but thought I'd share some photos with you. I have 665 alerts, eeek. I promise I will catch up with all soon.

Hugs and kisses to you all.

Tells x

Back from hols

2007-08-17T23:35:00.000-07:00

Well here I am on a wet Saturday morning. Everyone in the house is asleep, apart from myself and Billy the dog. We have just returned from his morning constitutional.

Paul was not impressed at all with his helicopter lesson as a birthday present, in fact he told me it was about the worst thing I could have got him for the fear factor. Despite all this, he agreed to do it but I must say I felt really deflated after all the excitement of booking it and thinking he would love it. He did enjoy it but it will be the last time I try to surprise him. Hmmmm

The kids on the other hand were thrilled to hear that we were off to the seaside and would be staying in a caravan. We had a great time down in Walton on the Naze and also visited Clacton a couple of times so they could ride on the fairground there and go to the beach too. I really liked Clacton town as it had loads of charity shops, so I took an hour or so looking round and getting lots of new books. I am also lucky that I go brown very quickly without sunbathing and everyone at work thought I had been abroad when I got back in on Wednesday this week.

Work has been hectic especially because I am taking so much leave at the moment and trying to catch my tail every time I go in. Next week I only work three days and then am off until the 6th of September when the children go back to school.

My sister, Chris, leaves my firm this coming Friday. In the end her redundancy package is not bad but not as good as we had hoped. She is thinking of perhaps doing some home typing if she can get it as she thinks she'll get terribly bored at home after working all this time. She is also trying to negotiate some more health cover with our firm which will at least last until next year when she should have retired because she is still under the care of her cancer specialist and needs at least one more mamogram with him. I think she will probably be able to see him on the NHS but will not have the luxury of appointments as and when it suits her.

She is coming to Hemsby with us next week but will be joining us on the Sunday after spending a few days in a hotel in a nearby seaside resort with her husband. They could come and stay at Pontins with us as I have enough room but I don't think her husband likes Pontins that much and it will be nice for her to have a few days with him before she is away for the week. I have barely finished doing the washing from our last trip and unpacking the bags ... I think that is the worst thing about holidays the blimming washing and ironing before you go and then having to do such a big pile when you get back again.

I am looking at the biggest pile of washing at the moment despite doing loads before I went back to work this week. I seriously need an industrial washing plant here. The kids being at home on their school holidays seem to create more washing than ever.

Martin seems to be doing ok with his new job but has to do very early starts to get up to London. I had to take him up the station in my pjs yesterday so he could manage to get a train in time.

So, I am now off for my morning coffee as my dear Paul has just risen from our bed and is moving towards the kitchen (which has still not been painted - I thought he might have done it whilst we were away, still he has next week when we are away again to do it before I start raging about it).

Hugs to all

Tells x

Long time no see

2007-08-04T01:12:00.000-07:00

Its been a little while since I was on here to make an entry. Things have calmed down on the dog front and both Paul and Billy have recovered from all the trauma but we have had a lot going on and that is why I have not been on a lot and so very behind in commenting in your journals.

Its been really sad but Spotty our cat is not with us any more. He was 16 years old and in the last week or so became very thin. Paul took him to the vet last week expecting to have to put him to sleep but they said they thought the problem may have been one of his teeth, so we decided to go with that and have it taken out. They kept him in the vets for 3 days and when he came home he was still poorly. We made the decision on Thursday that he could no go on especially as since he had been home he had hardly eaten or drunk anything and spent most of the time behind a chair in the living room. So the end of an era and very sad. Paul is broken hearted but we both know we could not let it go on.

But we have got cheerful things coming up. Paul's birthday is on Monday and I have resisted telling him about his surprise helicopter lesson. Yesterday evening the children and I went to Tescos and bought him a toy helicopter which makes a lot of different noises. He is going to be a bit shocked to get that wrapped up! Then we will hand him the voucher for his lesson .... so I can't wait for that. He has the lesson on Thursday and after that whilst we have lunch I will tell the children that we are going on holiday the next day!! I was looking at the brochure this morning and I hope the weather keeps fine for it all.

Matthew has just come back from Scout camp and has had a wonderful time. I am now washing all the smelly clothes. They went to the world jamboree get together at Chelmsford to celebrate the 100 year centenary on Monday and on Tuesday they took them to Alton Towers.

Rosie and I went to Thorpe Park, another theme park, on Monday with my friend and her young son. We had a wonderful time and I even rode the log flume .... it was so funny because my friend's little boy had an ear infection, so she insisted he wore a plastic cape. As we came down for the photo the plastic cape flew over his head, mine and Rosie's heads too. The photo was great. The chap at the front of the ride was all smiles and behind him and blue flash of plastic! We did giggle when we saw the photo when we came off. Remind me not to do anymore fairground or theme park rides, I must have been so tense that I hurt my leg and limped for 2 days afterwards.

I am enjoying all this part time working apart from having to try to keep up with all the filing at work, which is manic at the best of times. I have gone into work the last 2 Sundays but have now found a way that I can manage my work emails from home, so that should make it a bit easier.

Something awful too has happened at work. They are making my sister's department redundant. In one way though it is good that it has happened now because she will be 64 in December and that is when no redundancy package is available, apparently you get nothing then. She will be leaving on the 24th August just a couple of days before we go away together to Hemsby. Aw, I am going to miss seeing her every day.

By the way, I was at my firm 30 years last week. Hmmm, I did get a bonus in my pay packet but no note from the Managing Partner to say thank you, kiss my ass or nothing. I could understand it more if I wasn't a good worker or reliable but I am and have been! I felt very disappointed that there was no official acknowledgment, all day I was waiting for it or my flowers to arrive at my desk. I went to lunch with my friends and took cakes in, I thought of it as a milestone even if my company didn't. My department though are celebrating it and they are arranging a lunch for me when one of our chaps gets back from being away on sabattical as he wants to be there too. We are doing it in September.

I am determined to take the children to see Harry Potter this weekend - tomorrow is the plan. I can't believe we haven't got there yet but with working some weekends I have not had the time.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend.

Hugs, Terry x

Fingers Crossed

2007-07-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

Thank you all so much for your comforting messages about what happened here yesterday

Here I am on this Thursday night after all the trauma of yesterday. Billy seems a lot better today but still a bit sore I think but tail wagging more and all is calm in our household. Paul and I are keeping a close eye to him but Billy seems to be getting over what happened and although I think he got hurt in the fracas I think a few days rest and quiet will get rid of his stiffness. We slept downstairs last night and amazingly I got a good night's sleep ... I was exhausted I think. I haven't cried for a long time and had several wailing sessions yesterday.

Work was nice today. We had a departmental lunch to welcome someone back from secondment and to say goodbye to another who will be leaving tomorrow. It was all very nice with jolly good company. We sat outside in the garden of a local pub near our office and they do say theres no such thing as a free lunch ... hmmm, well I got one today and a nice long lunch hour.

Yesterday was also grotty at work because our supervisor called me in and said other girls had complained about the loudness of one of the new girls in our group. Honestly, she is only asking questions etc., and she is actually a really nice person and works hard and has really got her head around the job very quickly. I said to the supervisor that I thought the other girls were being bitchy ... and thats what I truly believe.

Anyway, Friday tomorrow and the last day at school for both Matthew and Rosie. I can't believe the school year has gone by so quickly. We now have a lovely summer holiday to look forward to and lots of fun .... hopefully things can only improve, eh?

This weekend I intend to get some of this stuff out of the house ... lots of clothes that the kids don't need any more will be going to the charity shop toot sweet! I need all the room I can get with Martin back. Martin has two interviews tomorrow, so keep your fingers crossed that he finds something that suits him soon. He seems to be on more of an up now.

Audrey over the road is not too good. I am very worried about her and will try to spend a bit of time with her this weekend. I took her to the local nursery the other weekend and it cheered her up no end.

Hugs to you all and thanks again for being there for me.

Terry x

Horrid day

2007-07-18T14:09:00.000-07:00

Something awful happened here last night. My dog (yorkie) Billy, went crazy last night as Paul came to bed. I was fast asleep and apparently Billy just launched himself at Paul's feet and started really biting him as he tried to come into the bedroom. I had been in bed for about an hour and woke to it. Paul was laying down in the hall with the dog going crazy. Paul's foot was badly bitten and he had to kick Billy off from him. It was just like a nightmare. Paul's foot bleeding badly and Billy injured too. This all happened at about 1 in the morning. Paul was very upset and Billy crying. Ohmigod. I stayed downstairs with Billy whilst Paul went up to bed and eventually fell asleep about 3. Billy went to sleep too. This morning he was very stiff but managed his walk and when Paul came down he started growling again and I thought it was all going to start again. Paul had calmed down by the time he got up and was upset that Billy had been injured. I think Paul must have crushed him when he fell to floor trying to get him off his foot. Billy seems better this evening and is eating and jumping up and down off the furniture but is very subdued. We will see how he is going tomorrow but I think he needs to get over the shock. Paul has been stroking him and bonding again. We all feel so awful.

Hugs, Terry x

flying high

2007-07-14T14:42:00.000-07:00

The photo above is sad really. It was taken at the Natural History Museum last year on a day out in London. Its Rosie with my old friend Chi Chi from London Zoo. I remember Chi Chi so well from my childhood. Chi Chi also seemed enormous and there she is all tiny and little stuck in a corner where the restaurant is. I also was very fond of Guy the Gorilla. He used to live in a big Victorian style cage. Everyone would gather round and then he would throw his pooh at them. When I asked where he was now, they said in storage somewhere. What a shame. Poor old boy should be laid to rest. Looking back now, it must have driven him crazy being stuck in his cage.

Well here I am on a Saturday night, all bathed and in my jammies at 10 o'clock. Hmmm, I must be getting old, eh?

Its not been too bad a week for me. My "friend" I told you about last time, who I was dreading seeing again on Wednesday for lunch, blew me out with 25 minutes to go as she had had a better offer. She sent me an e-mail saying that one of the girls she worked with had asked her to go to lunch, so I was dropped like a hot tater! She even had the cheek to say she would meet up with me on either Thursday or Friday but I wrote back and told her I had other arrangements for those days. I did actually ... nice lunch hours spent with happier people. I have made up my mind to avoid her now like the plague. Then .... I was walking to work on Friday and who did I spot just in front of me, walking towards me with a face of doom. Hmm, I made a quick step to the right and walked very quickly and she didn't spot me, ooooh what a relief, eh?

Yes, it was blimming Friday, 13th yesterday ... I had trouble from the start. Firstly, I couldn't sleep the night before. I fell asleep on the sofa on Thursday evening and woke at about 11ish. Tried bed, no. Came downstairs, lay on sofa again. Did I sleep, no! In the end I think I dropped off at about 4 a.m. and then woke up late at 7.20 a.m. when I should have been up at 6.30. Crazy time then, getting everyone up, getting dog walked, getting showered and out of the house by 8.05 a.m. Got to the station and my train was cancelled, so I hopped back in the car with Paul and attempted to catch a fast train I know goes from another station nearby which is on a different line. Got stuck behind the barriers and missed that one! Left my phone at home on charge, so couldn't call anyone. Then couldn't get out of work on time due to an urgent job and missed my train home. Oooh. I think the only good thing about yesterday was kicking off my shoes and having a nice lie down on the sofa when I got home.

Martin went for an interview yesterday in Bond Street for a publicist. He seemed to think the interview went well but he didn't seem keen on the job. I think he'd be better of getting a job he can drive to from here because he is terrible at getting up in the mornings.

I was in Letchworth today meeting up with my sister's eldest girls, the twins. We had a pleasant afternoon, mainly sitting at Costa coffee having lovely drinks and watching the world go by whilst we chatted and I caught up with them both.

Martin seems ok and he and Matthew are bonding and going out running a few miles around the fields every evening. Rosie gets fed up because they won't take her but she can't keep up and its a nice boy thing to do together. They haven't asked me to join them ... wonder why, ha ha.

Martin and Matthew have gone fishing overnight. I was out shopping when they left to go and I came home with lots of goodies for them for tonight, oh well, they will have them tomorrow I'm sure. I don't often get the chance to go to Morrisons and I spent far more in there than I should have. I can't get another thing in the freezer and the fridge is packed quite tightly. I noticed they had a little Polish section there which is nice because it was always difficult to get Polish goodies before. I have found a nice little deli in Hoddesdon which has an enormous selection and is really quite reasonable. Christmas will be good this year, especially when I make my bigus, with the abundance of Polish sausages I can now get to put in.

Before I went out I did a very naughty thing! I have booked a helicopter lesson for Paul as a birthday surprise. We hardly buy each other presents nowadays as really there is nothing either of us want but I know he will be thrilled with it. At least I hope so! Luckily the airfield is about a 20 minute drive from us and I now have a voucher, so need to arrange a date. His birthday is on the 6th August and I don't intend to tell him until that day. You know me and my surprises! I am being really nice to him today as I even told him the boxing was on earlier. Ahhh.

I hope everyone is having a sunny weekend. The weather today was great and I even enjoyed the drive from here to Letchworth. Hope it doesn't rain tonight as I don't really want muddy clothes coming home from the river.

Not long now until I start my 4 day weeks whilst the children are off school. They finish this coming Friday, yipee! I also have a lot of time booked off in August, so I am winding down and getting ready for the summer.

I got Rosie Ann Frank's diary from the charity shop today. Ann Frank was only 13 when she wrote it. Rosie who is now 12 can't put it down ... I remember reading it at the same age as Rosie. I'll let you know what she thinks. I am reading another Linda La Plante book called The Red Dalia and thoroughly enjoying it. Its a bit gruesome as its a murder mystery and I have to put it down at times but have to pick it up again. Oooh, I do so love reading.

Anyway, off now ... have a lovely weekend everyone.

Hugs, Tells x

Crazy times

2007-07-07T06:04:00.000-07:00

Heres a picture of the teachers from my primary school. Oh its so funny that Mr Scott, the small man in the middle, was my headmaster. He was a real tyrant and I never realised he was so small. I know the picture is small but I don't know how to make it bigger. Mr Scott sent me home from school when I was 10 for talking. Thinking back it was lucky my mum was at home that day. What an old s**.

Washing machine and tumble drier going like crazy, radio on in kitchen and Live Earth on TV. Trying to make toasted sandwiches and blimming fuse has gone on sandwich maker .... ooooh.

This week has been ok. Mainly getting up and going to bed again, ha ha. I had Monday off with Matthew as he had an inset day. Martin came back on Thurs and he has left his job. I hope he finds some peace now. He seems much more under control and I think he has got an interview next week.

Rosie went and had her brace tightened yesterday. Her front tooth, which was so twisted, is looking really good and that is just after a couple of months. I am really pleased.

The children now only have 2 weeks left at school before they break up for the summer hols. I can't wait until the surprise holiday, which is on the 10th August.

I met an old "friend" yesterday and spent the whole lunch hour listening to her woes. I say friend but I use that lightly. I never contact her as I have always found her very shallow. She even tried to get me to give her a reference on my company's paper when it is certainly not my place to do that and there is no way I am putting my job on the line for her. I don't think she asked me once how things were with me or mine. Some people are so self centred they make me mad. I remember when my mum died, she called me and I thought how nice but she did not mention my mum once only her building plans! Health wise she is fine but she can't seem to find a job she likes and that had led to her unhappiness. Blimey, I don't like my job that much but it pays the bills. She always has been a very selfish person. I asked about her daughter who is 15 but she had no interest in telling me much about her. Her daughter has been doing very badly at school, despite being a very clever girl. Over the last couple of years, my friend left her husband for 6 months as she wasn't getting on with him. She didn't take her child. She has returned to him now. My friend, despite having the money, hasn't been on holiday for years. I said to her, why don't you take .... away, just for a couple of days the two of you, it would bring you closer. No, not interested in doing that. I feel so sorry for her child. How awful to have a self obsessed mother. I have gone on here but she is so lucky to have a child and is wasting all opportunities to do things with her. She'll be gone and I suppose then she'll say, oh she never visits me. I left her feeling thoroughly depressed and very sad for her daughter.

Oh well.

Phil Collins singing on Live Earth. Why he feels the need to swear whilst singing Invisible Touch I don't know. What a idiot.

Oh well, off to see what I can do for the kids' lunch.

Hugs to all.

Terry

Evening all

2007-07-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

Hello all. I thought I'd add a picture or two here of my village pub and the river. I think I may have put the river on before. Last Saturday we had a riverside festival on during the day and evening all centred around the pub and river. This was done mainly to raise funds for the local youth club, which has been running a few years now. I only managed to get there very late in the evening and there was a fabulous group playing rock and everyone was dancing and the atmosphere was really good.

Martin is still here, I am worried about how he is going to deal with his workplace but I think he is going back to Leeds on Tuesday to face the music. He is still terribly upset about the break up with Julia. He went out with some friends on Friday night and came home in tears on Saturday morning, I think everything is coming out now and maybe thats not a bad thing. Its coming up to the anniversary of us losing Barbara, his mum, and things always seem worse at this time.

He has missed not only us but his friends as well and has been busy catching up with them all. I am not sure when he is moving back but it could be this week.

Work has been ok this week. I had a lovely evening out with the department when they booked the roof garden at a local pub for a barbeque. Only trouble was the blimming roof garden was about 4 stories up and I kid you not when the last part was like climbing a very steep ladder. I was worried that I'd break my neck getting down if I had too much to drink, looking down when I got to the top it was a straight drop down. Anyway, after 2 glasses of wine I felt I had better get myself off home while I could. I didn't even pop to the loo whilst I was there knowing that I could only make one journey down those stairs as I wouldn't find the courage to go up again. God knows how some of my friends got down there when they finished.

I have been the laziest woman ever today. I have only just got showered and changed into fresh pyamas! At least I look a bit more human now. I love doing thisbut always keep my fingers crossed that no-one pops into visit us!

I don't know if anyone is watching Big Brother but I am becoming very fed up with that Charley one and hope she gets voted out this week. I try to sneak in watching it when I can get the plodder off Paul (e.g. when he falls asleep).

Just remembering from when we were young. My mum was always thinking someone was at the door and making us go and answer it. Often there was no-one there and mum would always say, "it must have been my imagination". After another time of doing this my little brother, Peter, said "Mum, why is it every time I answer the door your imagination runs away", we all fell about laughing. Hmm, doesn't seem so funny written down.

Anyway, heres a picture from where I grew up. I found this site where I really enjoying going back in time. I spent many happy hours at this cinema (we called it the pictures) and I used to love singing, "We're all for one, we're one for all, we are the grenadiers" at Saturday morning pictures. This was when it was still called the Empire, which was a bit before my time.

and then sadly, it was all knocked down when I was about 15.

Aww. I used to prefer Edmonton in the old days really.

Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely Sunday, what is left of it.

Hugs, Terry x

My friend Kate

2007-06-27T13:27:00.000-07:00

Please go visit and give as much support as you can to my friend Kate who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and is looking for support and friendship.

http://journals.aol.co.uk/klassyshassy/Katewhoeversheis/entries/2007/06/26/not-feeling-so-brave/493

I haven't had much time to put an entry on because as usual flying about here and there on my broomstick! I had to work again on Sunday and it has put me right out.

Martin came back last Wednesday. He has split with Julia and is feeling very down about that and also is fed up and lonely in Leeds. I think he will be giving in his notice but at the moment he is taking a short break with us to take stock of things. We'll probably drive him potty and he'll decide peace and quiet may be better but I hope whatever decision he makes it will be the right one for him. Matthew and Rosie love having him back here and we have him for a few more days before he goes back to face the music and sort out what he wants to do.

Good news for one of my nieces who has just been allocated a brand new council house after being in a flat from hell for the last 2 years with her baby. I am so glad she will have a garden to play in and be in a nicer area with nicer people who don't swear and harrass her.

Rosie had her hair cut on Saturday, its a lot shorter now and I'll have to get my blimming camera sorted out to put a picture on here. From being halfway down her back its now on her shoulders and she is thrilled with it. Looks quite the glamour puss. Ooooh I wish I was 12 again.

I don't know if I told you but my husband, Paul, won the lottery. He and his friends got 5 numbers and they got £450 each. I have a nice £50 towards our hols and he has taken us out for a meal too.

Blimming cat is honking up in my new kitchen .... argh gotta go.

I will love you and leave you until I can write a bit more.

Hugs, Terry x

oooh, oooh, Sunday, Sunday

2007-06-17T05:18:00.000-07:00

Well this print looks gianormous! I like it though bold and strong.

I had to come home from work on Friday as I felt really queer (no smart comments, Gaz). I spent the afternoon sleeping on the sofa and then went to bed and slept for hours. I don't know why I felt so strange but I felt really dizzy. I had some really weird dreams that were so vivid that I still remember them quite clearly and its unusual for me to remember my dreams. Part of involved me seeing a band playing That will be the day in a park and then being helped across a really busy road (maybe acknowledging I am getting old eh) and then I was on a bus and had to get off when I saw the most wonderful building, all Chinese dragon waterfalls on it. I know I have never seen this in real life and wonder if I ever will. Anyway, all I am ok now and I must have had a funny bug.

Matthew has just come back from a sleep over at the London Dungeons. I think it was for child relief. He had a wonderful time and they were awake playing in there until about 1.30 a.m. this morning. He did it with the Scouts ... he is always off doing something with them. I think the people who run this are marvellous, they devote so much time to the children in the troop. Next Friday he is off rafting with them, they have a swimming gala coming up too ... it never stops.

I have had a quiet weekend really. Yesterday after dropping Matthew off to go on his trip, Rosie and I went off in search of a kareoke machine for her. We found a marvellous one with a little telly on it, so you can either see yourself sing or see the words of the tune come up. Of course I have been able to resist having a go myself and have done a bit of leg shaking and sung All Shook Up. I have been at my firm for 30 years at the end of next month and will get a small bonus, so it is her treat and I plan to get Matthew something nice too.

Martin surprised us by turning up this weekend. It seems all is not well between him and Julia, his girlfriend. Also, I think he is still indecisive about whether to stay up in Leeds or to come home and do a similar job nearby. I am not going to pressurise him but I would like him home. The kids miss him being here and so do we. He surprised Matthew bygoing and picking him up this morning from his Scout trip.

I have a mountain of stuff do do here, the house is looking like the pits as I can't seem to summon up the energy. I have sat out in the garden. I've been reading a Linda La Plant book. Its called Cold Blood. Its marvellous and I can thoroughly recommend it, I just can't put it down. I am almost at the end of it, then maybe I'll get myself in gear and get on with doing the tidying up and ironing.

Paul and I are currently making the dinner between us, meatballs, mash and broccoli. I make my own and they go down a treat here. Its one of Martin's favourites ... ahhh.

I have been watching a lot of telly this week. We have been enjoying watching Britain's Got Talent and have fought Paul away from the telly all week so we can watch it. The Grand Final is tonight and we can't wait (except Paul). Simon Cowell is one of the Judges and I wonder if they are showing this in America? I am also enjoying Dr Who and last night's was a good one. Big Brother is hotting up and I think the mix this year is very good.

Paul has just stuck his head in the door and said "all on my own then" ... have to go back to the kitchen now and do my duties.

Have a great Sunday everyone.

Hugs, Terry x

Sad news, Jim has gone

2007-06-12T14:25:00.000-07:00

Such friendships we make through our journals. Even though we haven't met each other our lives intertwine.

Tonight I have learned that I have lost my good friend Jim http://journals.aol.co.uk/halliday0957/nosundays/. I have been worried as I haven't heard from him for a while and his wife emailed in response to one of my messages to him today and told me he had passed away in May. If you have never read his journal, please go and read and enjoy it before it goes off line ... he was such fun and a very cheeky man. I really enjoyed reading his journal and sharing emails with him. I feel so sad that he has gone. God bless you Jim, you were fun! His email was halliday0957 and I think it would be comforting if you knew Jim if you could e-mail his wife before she closes the account.

Hugs, Terry x

Wot a week!

2007-06-02T03:50:00.000-07:00

So ... it has been a nice week for me. The worst was that I had to go into work on Bank Holiday Monday and the journey there and back to home was a torture. But then, its over now!

We had a great time with Martin here last week. He took us all out to the Harvester on Saturday and we were in there for 3 blimming hours. I haven't been to the Harvester for years and they do an early bird deal which makes it a lot cheaper if you eat there in the afternoon. I can honestly say that it was the best meal I had out for a long time. I had their ribs, they were absolutely gorgeous, followed by a shared (enormous) knickerbocker glory.

We then came home and watched Dr Who, which was the best episode ever. The second part is on tonight and the children and I can't wait to see it. The aliens were fantastic, they took the form of humans and put their heads to the side and sniffed deeply trying to find Dr Who. We have been doing it all week, the head to the side and deep sniffs. We'll have to stop, people will think we're strange, ha ha.

On Tuesday I had the day off and had a fairly quiet day, apart from having to buy yet another pair of school shoes for Rosie .... oooh there are only 6 weeks left until end of term but hers are falling apart. In the afternoon I had to take Matthew to the dentist for a check up and they did a filling whilst I sat in the chair on the other side of the room. Well, I had an appointment today to have my root canal done, guess who chickened out after sitting there with all those drills going??? Yup, it was me. I have put it off yet again until the 16th. Will I go then? God knows? I have realised that I don't like the dentist at all. There is no interaction between us or any kindness from her. I think that is causing me a big problem in going back to her. She has absolutely no sympathy for me and I think that is my problem. I am so scared to go to the dentist and need someone who at least talks to me in a kind way. Oh well, its not a problem now for a week or so. The tooth plays up occasionally but not that much that I feel I need to go urgently. Incidentally, Matthew was fine having the filling and didn't have an injection but just watching it all freaked me out.

Anyway,after all the trauma of the dentist visit, I took an hour or so to recover my equilibrium and decided that the children and I would go and see Pirates of the Carribean. Well .... although I concentrated as hard as I could, I could not make out what the bloody hell was going on! All I knew was that after 2 and half hours of sitting there, that when they commenced yet another battle and Johnny Depp started swinging round on his bit of rope landing here and there, I felt a deep desperation to escape and flee the cinema. I thought no, not another battle, when is this film every going to finish! Also, there was a chap in it who looked identical to a really obnoxious fellow at work and everytime his face came up on screen I thought omigod its S........! Its a long film and maybe best viewed at home where you don't get such a numb bum!

On Thursday I met up with a friend who had worked with us for a few months. She has been to New Zealand and was back here for a week before going back to South Africa for good. Lots of us from the office arranged to meet her round the corner from our office in a good bar. A lot of other friends came from work and one couple who got together in the last 3 months announced their engagement. Watch this space for wedding details. They are both very nice people and its nice to see them so happy. We had a great singer there as well and I requested Sexy Thing and had a bit of a dance round before I left. My foot is hurting a bit now, must have danced a bit too energetically, eh? I gave my South African friend £20 to get a bottle of wine and when they gave it to her for nothing because there were a lot of us there, I told her to keep it. Now, I know my South African friend has been really hard up but I was a bit staggered when she said on our parting that if ever I had any spare cash to send it to her!!!! It left a bit of a bad taste and I feel a bit sad about it. My sister said that perhaps she had been drunk when she said it and maybe that was it. I don't know why she thinks I am a moneybags ... I wish I was. I had quite a nice bit of wine and apart from the the money thing, I had good evening with many friends.

I have upgraded our holiday caravan (the surprise one for the children) to a GOLD!! I must be crazy, I am paying £440 for 3 nights. Maybe I could send some to my friend in South Africa, ha ha! No, this cash was earned by my hard work going in on the other bank holiday we recently had on the Sunday and Monday and I worked blimming hard for it shifting boxes and clearing up the office. I am still keeping this a secret from the children and only intend to tell them the afternoon before we go. Then I will still keep it secret that their brother Martin and sister Lisa will be there too until they all turn up to leave! Oooh, what fun, eh!

Last night Rosie and I went to the local Civic Centre to see the local Pop Idol final. Lots of children from 12-18 in this area have competed to get into the final. They had 100s enter and then they had to go through another round from their first auditions. There were 12 acts and it was extremely well presented. They had dancers who were extremely well choreographed for most of the acts too. We had to laugh as there were many stage school kids, one of which had appeared in the West End in Mary Poppins and was sooooo precious! A boy won who sung "Kiss for a rose". When he sang Baaaaabbbby he made me jump and then want to giggle! I was surprised he won because I thought others were better. We did have a wonderful time and the audience could vote too. The boy we liked who had a wonderful voice won the audience vote.

So, guess then who found herself on the settee when I woke up this morning? I have done the wonky walk for the last hour or so whilst my neck tries to straighten up. I must have just laid in the same position all night.

Well, I must go and do some jobs and get dressed, ho hum. Sun is shining and weather is warm, yeeeeeeh.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Tells x

I have gone tiny

2007-05-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

Oh dear, seems like my entries have been coming out in very tiny print. Sorry to those who thought they were having a bad eye day.

Have been fiddling around on here and blimey ... look what I can do, post a blimming picture properly today. So just before I lose this again, here is a picture of me and my Auntie Lila taken when I visited Poland for the first time and met her 2 years ago. She is small but she is fiesty.

Off to be lazy again.

Hugs, Terry x

More of those memoirs

2007-05-27T05:14:00.000-07:00

Hope you enjoy this too.

Hugs, Tells x

We arrived in London, where we were met by some people from the firm whom Father was to work with. They took us to a hotel.

Maria, Danshell and I were put into one room. The nights were quite hectic for we carried on all night. Danshell made us laugh so much I couldn’t stop giggling and couldn’t get off to sleep.

We kept doing the beds. They were quite different to what we had been used to. On the Continent we had huge pillows and a feather bed to cover us.

The feather bed was a huge pillow to cover the whole body, filled with down. It was very light and beautifully warm. The covering was changed everywhere, the tick was red and the covering would have inserts of lace showing the red tick through.

The English bed was a hard small pillow, a cold sheet and hard heavy blankets which were in a muddle all the time. So we had to keep getting out of the bed to put all the blankets and sheets in order.

During the day the parents left us in the Hotel while they went out to see to things to do with staying in England. They were all on contract for three years.

In time we arrived at Brimsdown Station. We sat on a bench on a long platform and waited. I don’t know what for. It was very countrified. We saw the distant hills of a forest (Chingford), all around the station were fields and a road not far away with houses.

The houses were a little like the pamphlet we had received in Austria only they seemed wider and lower.

We were taken to the houses, Mrs Rudolph in the first, then a few houses further Mrs Mendrys, next door but one we were shown ours.

Mrs Szymatowice was to live in the road behind.

Our furniture had arrived and the unpacking soon done.

It seemed a huge house, there were two rooms and a kitchen downstairs, a bathroom, toilet and three bedrooms upstairs.

I was given the little box room. There was a gas stove in the kitchen and a sink. In Austria water was brought into the flats with large jugs from a tap in the hall.

We, the children, were taken to school. Some children would come for us and we walked a very long way and home for lunch and again in the afternoon.

In Austria, school was only in the morning and we had to do homework at home in the afternoon although we started at 8 a.m. and finished at 2 p.m.

Maria, Danshell and I were put into different classroomsbecause of our ages. We met only at playtime and on the way to and from school. We could not understand a word. Soon we were whipped off to another school. A different direction but even further.

Nuns had descended on us. There were Polish nuns among them, so of course we had to go to their school. I was put into Sister Stansislow’s class. She was a chubby sister always fussing. She called me Dzieckcko which means child in Polish.

She had been to Poland although I think she was Irish. She could not forget Poland. She could not speak Polish very well but she spoke to me all the time.

Proze, Dzieckcko! All day long, Proze being "please".

She was like a flapping old hen around me. Her excitement at practising her Polish was unbounded.

Maria and Danshell she tolerated as my friends but showed no interest in them, only being able to speak German.

I think it was mainly through her I learnt English very quickly.

I have met Maria this year - 36 years later and she still speaks with an accent, although I find people will not believe I'm a foreigner at all.

Sister Stanlisaw had a very funny way of teaching - she had no shame.

She took me into the playground for games.

The classes were mixed of course. I had become used to that in my first English school, ignoring the boys!

But not with Sister Stanislaw, she made me play games like ‘The farmer had a wife’, where you had to get into the ring with a boy to be his wife and worst of all some game where you stood in a ring and somehow you had to kiss the boy in the ring!

I would not do it. I’d run off in tears with everyone laughing. I hated the games.

Then she would have this horrible Alfie Cook, who looked like a monkey, thin puckered lips, hair standing up all over his head and round thick glasses making up stories.

The stories had to be acted. He would, with Sister’s encouragement, choose me to be his leading lady. The story was always about a prince and princess who would have to end the scene kissing!

By that time I realised it was better to suffer the kissing than to cause a rumpus by refusing.

He would approach me for the kiss leering at me. I would screw my eyes shut and pretend I was somewhere else, but as soon as I sensed him near I would quickly turn my head aside and he would miss my face and do ‘the kiss’ somewhere in my shaking hair.

I hated Alfie Cook! I have a photograph of agroup with him in it and even now I’m not surprised, he looks awful!

I did manage by that time to live with boys. There was a little boy David next door with whom I used to play with. He was always saying ‘Ay-Ay-Ay’ when asked a question. I tried to find out what ‘Ay’ meant - no-one seemed to be able to tell me.

I would have to take Father some food to his factory and all the men were very friendly.

They taught me to say words in English and when I told them to Sister Stanlislaw she would go as red as a beetroot.

When she had got over the shock enough to speak, she would tell me they were something dreadful. So when I went to the factory and got talking to the men I would repeat the words, knowing they meant something nasty, all innocently, going round the men in the factory and saying them. Some would roar with laughter, others would look shocked. I’d look at them to see their reaction. On the whole it was quite good fun. But I did not repeat them to Sister Stanlislaw.

Mother would send me to the shops with the unfamiliar money. Some of it was very big. Pennies they were called, although you could not buy as much as with the silver money.

In a sweet shop there were two sisters, elderly ladies, they called everyone ‘Duck’,

In the shop next door was a dark haired woman. She had a load of black frizzy hair and lots of make up on. Her husband was old. At least 40. She must have married him for his money. Years later she was old too - but he did not seem any older than when I first saw him, so perhaps she did not marry him for his money at all.

On the corner was a fish and chip shop. It smelt awful. When I walked past it I would turn faint. My stomach would get the wobbles and I would have to run to get away from the tainted air.

If the woman next door asked me to get her chips I’d find another girl to go in for me and give her my reward money, a penny.

In time of course, I learnt to love chips and other English delicacies.

In the road behind where we lived a woman kept a shop in a house. She would fill a glass for you of mustard pickles for a penny. They tasted wonderful. They don’t make tasty pickles like that now.

There was a factory opposite our house. At he back of the factory were sand pits and cement works. In the pits it was fairyland for the children. Bushes crew and ponds galore. Shallow pools where the sand had been taken out.

There were frogs and toads, frogspawn and then they would grow into newts, then they got larger and larger until they were fully grown frogs.

We would play in the water, taking out frogspawn and put them into old rusty tins we would find.

Dragonflies would fly over the water. They were very beautiful, their wings shining and shimmering with a thousand colours and lights as the sun flashed on them as they flew. But we were all frightened of them. They were too big.

In the water grew reeds and we would tear them up and plait them and make pipes and mats.

Around the cement factory lay big cement stoves. We would make houses out of the block. We would play mothers and fathers. We would get sand from the pit, mix it with water and make pies with the assortment of tins we found laying around.

Father would go to work. He would have to search for anything he could find for the house.

Mother would stay at house cooking the pies.

Sometimes we would be film stars, Ginger Rogers and Joan Crawford. Mostly I was Joan Crawford. I would walk around tossing my hair. I would discuss my leading man, Clark Gable.

Sometimes lots of children came to play. We would all play together, hiding seek, statues, where the girl who was ‘he’ if she turned around and caught someone moving would count her ‘out’. The idea was that while ‘he’ turned around you had to move to the front. As soon as he turned to face the players, they had to pose as statues and of course the one who managed to creep to the front without being noticed, played ‘he’ next time.

We played ‘film stars’. ‘He’ would call out initials of famous film stars and of couse the one who guessed the initials became ‘he’.

My favourite was ‘truth and dare’. You would be asked ‘truth or dare’, if you said ‘truth’ you would be asked to tell the truth, mainly if you kissed boys and things like that. If you said ‘dare’, it was much more exciting. You would be dared the most terrible things. Like going in the middle of the road and screaming or trying to stop cars and get lifts, or shouting something nasty at men or going up to someone to ask them something like ‘can you tell me where Mrs So and So lives? We would then hover around while the ‘darer’ would approach someone to ask for Mrs So and So. We would all die laughing.

More of Mummy's memoirs

2007-05-27T05:11:00.000-07:00

Oooh, I haven't put any of this for ages (December) and I so I have decided to type up a bit more. Another instalment to come shortly.

Hope you all enjoy. Hugs, Tells x

Gradually I became aware that we were going to move again. To England. Everyone seemed jealous.

Father had been on a contract to Austria for three years with the Krup Group and the three years were nearly up.

From England we received pamphlets with houses printed on them, Bay windowed house as we had never seen with round porches around the front door and a strip of garden. Three other families were to come with us. The Mendrys’, Rudolphs and Szymatowice’s. The Mendrys’ still only had Peppy, the Rudolph’s had a boy, Anton whom they called Danshell and the Szymatowice’shad Maria. Maria was 14 years old and Danshell was 14, Peppy was 2.

I was very upset having to leave Gise. We promised to write. I gave her my most treasured possession as a keepsake. A cardboard clock with moving hands by which I had taught myself to tell the time.

We were to go first. Mother and Father wanted to stop in Poland to see their friends, then we would meet somewhere in Germany.

Back in Poland we stayed with the people upstairs where we had lived. The parents of Marynka who had trodden the cabbage with Father.

Marynka had married and had a baby. The baby had died. There was a little photo of her on the wall under a little altar.

While we were there Father had to return to Vienna for something was not in order with the travel documents. He did not return the time he was expected. Mother threw herself into a panic. Everything happened to Father. He had been arrested at the frontier! He had been met with an accident. There must have been a train accident that had not been announced. All sorts of things had happened.

I got quite panicky with her. I could not imagine life without Father.

He turned up though with some vague explanation that did not satisfy Mother. She carried on and on and after a few stormy days came to the conclusion he’d been carrying on with the young stage artist whom we had stayed with in Vienna.

England

We somewhere met the rest of the party on the way because I remember travelling with them. Whether it was in England or still on the Continent I don’t know, although we did have a stop in Holland.

In Holland Father had his sister Marynia. She was married to a Dutchman of Polish descent. They had three children, Maria about 17, Stefan about 14 and Agnieska 8.

They lived in a little box house. My Grandfather from Germany joined us there. He was very much like Father to look at, quite plump though with big white whiskers. He always smoked long thick cigars. He had silver money done up in a long paper tube. He gave me a big silver Mark.

The children all seemed to have bicycles which had license plates on them.

I played and slept with Agnieska. She was my own age and although she spoke Dutch we could understand each other very well with my German.

Soon we were on our way again.

this, that and the other

2007-05-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, here is a little picture to tease you ... more pictures to come ... I can only seem to get one in at a time and need to take some more now the kitchen is almost complete.

Hmmm, today lady boss called me into talk about my rise and told me it made no difference how long anybody had been at our firm ... we will all get the same money. That told me then! Told her then that she had her opinion on what she thought was fair and I had mine. Funny, really as I haven't made any official complaint, they are the ones that keep on about it! The new girl is quite nice and I actually do like her ... but I am still peed off that she is earning the same as me, so there!!!

I can't tell you how pleased I am that I am not at work tomorrow. Yay, although I only have tomorrow off because I have to take Rosie to have the brace fitted. Brace day at last! She is not at all nervous although she realises that she will be feeling some pain while it settles down. I am going to meet her from school at lunch time and we will be ladies who lunch and then plan to have a good time looking round the charity shops before we go for her appointment at 3pm. I must also make an appointment for myself first thing at the doctors because I almost run out of my blood pressure tablets and I don't want to go bang. Its almost impossible to get an appointment to get my blood pressure read with the doctor! She is booked up weeks ahead for goodness sake. The receptionist told me 2 weeks ago that I would have to phone tomorrow and say that it was urgent that I saw the doctor, what a palarva!!

I had some great news at Matthew's school when I went for the parent's evening. As you know he attend a moderate learning school and I was amazed and proud to be told that they think he may be able to take an English GCSE. My Barb would be so proud. I had a little tear in my eye. I wasn't so pleased though to be told that he was king of the belchers in one particular class. He has been taking advantage of a young, new teacher. I was amazed that she hadn't even contacted me about it. Now I know, I can confirm that his reign is now over!

I had to dash out the other evening to get him some new school trousers. He is growing at a rate of knots and is now 5ft 9inches with size 9 feet. Oh god, he is going to grow out of his bunk bed and then what will I do? He is very slim with a 28 inch waist so men's trousers are no good as even a 30 inch swims round his waist. In the end I managed to find some lovely, easy care ones from Matalan for only £7 each, which have buttons with elastic tags with cut outs in which you can pull tight ... thank you Matalan!

Great excitement here ... Mr Enthusiastic has put my new switches and plugs on in the kitchen ... one left to put on, watch this space.

Martin is coming back this weekend and the children are really looking forward to seeing him. I hope we have a good weekend together.

Right, off to do some wishy washy.

Hugs, Terry x

My bread a picture at last

2007-05-16T13:49:00.000-07:00

Well blimming 'eck ... Ally alerted me to the fact that there was something different about adding pictures and I have found that I am able to add my bread at last. Now its really easy, had to be if I was able to do it and it looks very professional. It is delicious just after baking and for the rest of the day. Sliced thinly with some cheese on the side, ooooh.

8oz self raising flour
1/4 teaspoon of black pepper
1oz butter
1 smallish onion finely chopped
4oz mature cheddar cheese coarsely grated (I just chopped it up)
1 egg
4-5 tablespoons of milk

Mix the flour and pepper together and rub in the butter

Stir in the onion and cheese and make a well in the centre

Whisk together the egg and milk and pour into the well and mix to a soft dough

Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and kneed quickly into a small round of about 6-7 inches

Using a knife cut a lattice on top of the round, pressing quite hard so definite cut marks showing

Put on a lightly greased baking sheet and bake at 190 or gas mark 5 until well risen or golden brown (about 40 minutes). Turn the bread over and cook for a further 5 minutes.

Cool on a wire rack.

I hope you are able to try doing this. Let me know what you think of it, its a great hit in my family and last time I did it I ended up having to make another one and fighting them off of it until Paul got home and could have a slice!

ps: Got home to find the tiler has been again and tiles all grouted now ... so not much to do now and the kitchen will finally be done (new plugs put on and decorating ceiling and wall).

hugs to all, Fanny Craddock the 2nd aka Terry x

2007-05-12T03:17:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone, well here I am on a sunny Saturday morning, which makes a nice start to the weekend.

I feel so sad at the moment, worrying about little Maddy and I even had a nightmare this week about it. It brings to mind a lot of sad events in my own life, particularly concerning paedophiles. I pray to god that this little girl was maybe taken by someone really wanting a little girl and not some awful paedophile. I don't condone her parents leaving her alone but who would imagine in their worst nightmares that such a terrible thing would occur. Please god she is found safe and well.

Turning to other things, I was shocked to see the room where Jeannette is having her treatment. That made me sad too, knowing that my two sisters had face it too. It was my Andrea's birthday yesterday, we lost her in 1999. She went totally crazy when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and after she had had the operation she was convinced that she was still waiting to have it done and they had to move her into a separate room and she had to have psyhciatric treatment. She was just so shocked that she had cancer she just lost it for a little while. She said her turning point was when she was afterwards waiting for this treatment and saw little children waiting for theirs and that seemed to pull her back. God bless you Andrea, I miss you so. Our long telephone calls where my ear would be hot after talking for so long. She would have loved the internet. For years she was part of a postal blog involving about 8 girls, they wrote for about 20 odd years I think. All young mothers together, sharing their lives. As times got better for them all, they would meet up in London, firstly for just lunch and then they used to make a weekend of it, staying in nice hotels. I am sure if she was here now, she'd be on the computer all the time. She was such a lively person, always on the go. If this blimming AOL worked properly and let me post a picture today I would put one on. Lets hope I can get my buttons working properly again soon.

So, all in all, I have been feeling a bit blue.

Work has been challenging this week. I have managed to be fairly nice to the new girl, through gritted teeth (or what I have left of 'em). Big Boss has called me in twice, trying to get round me and even left an orchid on my desk the other day. Hmmpppph.

I haven't mentioned that I am off to have my root canal on the 2nd June, the day draws nearer .... makes me realise what a coward I am especially when my friends here are going through worse.

I am off now to visit my good friend Laura. I met her in a lonely lane in Greece many years ago when we were on holiday in Zakynthos and have been friends since. I am going to try and help her with her computer ... I hope I can. Its nice to have a lazier weekend as last weekend I worked Sunday and Bank Holiday Monday clearing up the office. Double time was nice and it has helped pay for our little holiday in August but has left me exhausted!

Last and not least .... the tiler cometh on Tuesday!!! Hooray.

Hugs to all and hope you have a great weekend.

Terry x

Wages of sin

2007-05-05T03:19:00.000-07:00

Life can get you down and most days you can forget how lucky you are just to be still here and living it.

I was just reading my local paper and have seen that a good friend to my family has passed away. Phil, a good neighbour and friend to my mum and stepdad. He was a very nice man, would do anything for anyone. He was a Bevan boy during the war.

A Bevan Boy was a man of military age forced to work the Coal Mines of Britain in WW2 , under a scheme devised by Ernest Bevin , Minister of Labour.

If you refused- 6 months imprisonment . Men who wanted to fight for their country were given no alternative.

They were employed from 1943-1948, received absolutely no compensation -after the war the UK Government burnt all the records to prevent the men from claiming.

There is now a motion going through Parliament to get these men recognised and given compensation.

One good thing about his Bevan boy service was that Phil met the love of his life Marion when he lodged with her family during this time of his life. He married her and they came back to his home town to live the rest of their lives. Phil went on to be a fireman and then when he retired he took a job at the local funeral parlour and I was proud that he looked after my mum, step dad and Barb on their final journeys. Being a Bevan boy though took a toll on Phil's health and he always suffered a bad chest. His dear wife passed away a few years ago and I am sure they are together again now. Goodbye dear old faithful friend and neighbour.

Here we are on a Saturday morning at 11 am and I am still sitting in my pjs! Its a bit chilly and I will get dressed soon. Rosie as usual is sitting watching Friends on the telly, I swear that girl is obsessed and has fallen in love with that Joey one. Her first crush was Dennis the Menace from the Beano comic, ahhh.

Paul has gone off to work and Matthew is at scout's camp, so we have total control of the telly, which makes a change in this house. Its a shame we have to go out and get some shopping but then we will cosy up and watch a film later together. Tomorrow I am working and maybe on Monday as well, so quite a lot of other things to do today for next week.

The tiler has gone silent! No news is good news I suppose but Paul has promised to phone him and see "wots going on". I shall be patient but not for too long now.

No Martin this weekend. All has gone quiet which I hope means he is happy and more settled in his new job.

I booked a surprise holiday for the kids this week. I've booked a long weekend at a caravan park at Walton on the Naze, which is a seaside place in Essex. Rosie has always wanted to go on a caravan holiday and when we spoke about it last she said it would be lovely towing the caravan and stopping where we like. I had to put her right. I am a woman who finds it difficult enough to park between two cars at Sainsburys, let alone tow a caravan and manoeuvre it! I am not the gypsy type who could sit in the middle of a field either with my little log fire burning. This caravan site is quite a busy one, with lots for the kids to do and entertainment in the evening. Its also near the main beach and one of the longest piers. The kids will go crazy when they see the funfair. I intend to tell them the night before we go, so this is a secret I will have to keep until mid August. They know we are going away at the end of the month but this will be a nice surprise for them.

Work ..... hmmmm, well I am going in to pay for this "surprise" so it will be worth it. Apart from that I am a bit fed up as I have found that a new girl starting on Tuesday will be getting the same money as me! I wish I hadn't been told as that makes me feel a bit peeved. Big boss asked what he could do and I said give me a good reference! Not that I would leave. It suits me having the unpaid 3 weeks leave a year and also with my health background I would not be a good bet as a new employee, so I have my hands tied. I shall do my best to be a big girl and be nice to the new bitch who is earning the same as me after I have been there 30 years! Ooooh, can I do it???? Its not her fault, I know, just blimming annoying.

I have posted a picture of my family taken a year or so ago when my cousin from Poland came over. We are not all there and there are a few imposters in there, the one in the polish tee shirt is a friend of my nephew but he does have a Polish mother. You'll see me in the black tee shirt and jeans. On my left is Matthew and my cousin, Klaudyna in the beige jacket. Rosie is being cuddled by my sister, Chris, ahhh.

Chris is off to Ireland on her hols on Tuesday. She is going for 2 weeks and renting out two separate cottages. She loves Irish books and is looking forward to going and see some of the places mentioned.

Well, I have gone on and on again. Hope everyone has a nice, restful weekend.

Hugs, Terry

test ignore

2007-04-29T10:18:00.000-07:00

Flipping 'eck, I am baking bread

2007-04-28T02:16:00.000-07:00

Well here I am again on a sunny Saturday morning. Oh yeh, I have been baking bread! Just got it out of the oven and feel very earth motherly here. Its a bread without yeast and was supposed to be cheese and apple but I didn't have an apple, so its cheese and onion. Now it looks like a brick with cheese and onion it it! I will take a picture and let you know what its like.

My tiler was supposed to come today, hmmmm, he has not turned up and I think he will not be coming! I have left a message on his answerphone but hey, its a sunny day, can't be stressing about it, it will get done (hmmm, it had better we have paid for the blimming tiles up front to him). He made a lovely job of our floor, so I'll be patient.

I have put a lovely picture up of Rosie when we visited Seaworld a couple of years ago. Its one of my favourites. A happy picture for a happy day.

By the way, Matthew had a wonderful time on his trip to Salcombe, Devon. They stayed on an old ferry and he came back with a real healthy glow about him and said it was his best holiday ever, ahhh! He is off to a camp with Scouts next weekend for the bank holiday - its a scout's camp not too far away and they will even have a fair there on the Saturday night. He certainly gets around what with the school trips and scouts.

Well, had to break off as Rosie got up and wanted to try the bread. I did get a photo before it was cut and am eating some myself. Hmm, its not bad and quite tasty. Think I'll do this one again.

This week has been rather fraught at work. They tried to give me an extra person to work for and I had to be quite firm that I simply could not take on anyone else. I got quite fed up about it but luckily my other bosses supported me and it was sorted out the same day. It has left a nasty taste though and I hope I'll be left alone for a while now. With trying to save money on wages they do not give us cover when we are away on holiday and try to make us work for as many as possible - there are not enough hours in the day as it is at work and I am so pleased I managed to fend this one off.

We have decided to have a memorial evening in honour of Eileen and all the "old" girls of our firm will get together. Hopefully we'll raise some money at the same time for the hospice she spent her last days in.

Wooopee Whoo, Martin has come back for the weekend. He arrived at about 11.30 last night after a 5 hour drive. He has the lovely Julia with him. I didn't tell the kids and called them down (well, it was a Friday night) and Rosie's face was a picture when she saw her beloved big bro. I don't know what decision he is going to make about the job but I hope he comes back home as we miss him so.

Well, off to go and eat some more of my bread ... have a great weekend everyone.

Hugs, Terry x

I hate Aldis

2007-04-19T14:09:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, my little shopping expedition a few weeks ago cost me dearly when I parked in Aldis carpark. I entered at 10.36 and left at 12.08 and because I stayed longer than one and a half hours it has cost me £40 in a parking fine. It was on bank holiday Friday. Very nice to get it on my birthday, eh? 2 minutes late .... There is no option of an appeal, only an increase to £70 if not paid by the 30th. So I have paid and am feeling mad as hell. Never again will Aldis get my custom. I am thinking of really bad words to say about them but |I am too much of a lady!! The worrying thing is that I was in there last Friday too and I am sure I was there longer than 1 hour and a half, so I am now waiting for my next fine to drop through the door.

Apart from that, my birthday has been lovely. Rosie made me a lovely breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast and she and Paul got me a lovely radio cassette. I got some lovely cards and presents from work, including earrings, a bracelet and some beautiful roses. Christine gave me £50, so generous .... I will have to get something special and no, I am not spending on that parking fine! Rosie baked me a birthday cake last night and it was absolutely delicious.

Tomorrow I am going to the funeral of my friend Eileen, who sadly died last Saturday morning. My sister and I worked with Eileen for many years, so we are both going together to pay our last respects.

My nephew, Martin ,called tonight to wish me happy birthday and we had a good chat. Leeds doesn't seem to be going that great. I am not sure whether its the job or the fact that he is missing being here, not only us but also his friends and all the activities he was involved in here. It could be he is missing Billy but I don't think its that! Maybe its my new kitchen luring him. I don't really know but his voice sounded very sad and he told me that the job he had also been offered down here before he went was still open to him if he wanted it. Obviously, I'd like him back here and didn't want him to go in the first place but I have told him that he needs to think very carefully about what to do next. I think he is worn out as he has been doing some very late nights and that doesn't help.

Matthew is due back from Salcombe tomorrow night. He tells us it will be at 11.30pm .... I bet you anything that it will be later than that. I always seem to wait up for hours before he arrives home from these things.

Anyway, off I go now.

Hugs,

Terry x

I love Basildon

2007-04-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

I am back from my adventure to Basildon!

My friend's wedding was on Saturday, so Rosie and I (after an exhausting week of shopping and finding all the necessary accessories) set off nice and early for the Holiday Inn at Festival Park. I like Holiday Inns and this one is a good place to stay. Its set on a leisure park and surrounded by a lovely lake. We had a bright, airy room with a lovely view of the lake.

The drive there was horrendous ... I had to access the M25 by the M11 and it was awful getting onto and competing with the big boys in their 4 wheel drives. My lip was actually shaking by the time I managed to manoeuvre on there. Luckily though I calmed down and the rest of the journey was fine.

We found the hotel fine, which is on a big leisure complex with cinema, bowling alley, loads of restaurants, TGI Fridays, Chillis, Nandos, Pizza Hut etc.

Rosie and I threw our bags in the room and then got a cab into Basildon town centre, where we proceeded to inspect the market and shops. I have never been there before and when I noticed the bus stands, was almost tempted to get a bus into Southend but thought it may leave us a little tight on time.

Gaz, the Asda there is to die for ... lots of kitchen things etc., and its enormous. Its also got a big Walmart sign up which I haven't noticed at the Harlow Asda.

We found a nice Wimpy bar and had a good lunch before going back to the hotel and meeting up with friends. We didn't have to be at the wedding until 7pm, so spent a leisurely hour by the lake, sipping diet cokes and then went up to get ready for the festivities.

My friend looked like an angel and her smile was beautiful. We had a wonderful time there and it was really nice because we knew so many people there from work. We got up to a lovely breakfast at the Holiday Inn, I was like a little sheep grazing. After we checked out we decided to go bowling and ended up leaving the complex at about 1pm to go home. I felt like I had had a little holiday.

We came home to a very quiet house as Matthew has gone to Salcombe in Devon for a few days with his school. It feels very strange without him and I haven't let myself really enjoy the peace and quiet yet. Paul took him to get the coach early yesterday morning. He'll be back on Friday by which time I think we'll really be missing him. I am dreading the washing coming home with him though.

Rosie and I went to the dentist last week and she had her tooth out for the brace work. She was so brave, ahh. Mrs Coward here has to have a blimming root canal done on that dodgy tooth. I can't wait until the 28th, not!

The kitchen is almost done .. we are waiting for the tiler. I'll put the pictures on then.

I wish everyone a great week.

Hugs

Terry x

Lovely days

2007-04-09T03:54:00.000-07:00

I have had some lovely lazy days. In fact I feel so laid back I am almost vertical!

Yesterday Matthew and I went off to the car boot which is held at the end of our village. Yesterday it was massive. I was on a short time limit as Chris was coming to visit at 11.30 a.m. I got some wonderful bargains for Matthew, mainly clothes and we found a Friends Annual for Rosie. I got myself a lovely teapot, which has lots of teddy bears on and the words "the day the teddy bears had their picnic" around the lid and base. When I can get photos working I'll post a picture of it. Its funny, we have an old cd in the car with children's tunes on it and one of them is the Teddy Bear's Picnic. Rosie and I always sing along to it and its a joke between us that when I don't know the words of a song, I'll always just sing the word "picnic" and make her scream with laughter. As I don't know the words of most songs, I sing the word "picnic" quite a lot. Oooh, mad or what. Anyway, we are thrilled with our teapot.

I also picked up a tiny cd/radio player and have been boogying around in the kitchen to it.

My sister, Chris, arrived on time and stayed for about an hour and then her daughter, Carolyne and family came. We had a great afternoon. All the boys and Rosie and Martin's girlfriend, Julia, went fishing up the river and Carolyne, Emma and I sat and chatted. Emma is still confused as to who the father of the baby could be. Quite honestly neither boy can offer her much. One boy was a very casual affair just before Christmas and the other boy who she started to see in early January has a girlfriend of long standing, and is seeing Emma behind her back .... She is due on 7th October and is about 13 weeks pregnant. She says she had a period at the beginning of January. I am not an expert at working this out but think it must be the boy in December who got her pregnant and maybe she had a false period afterwards. Anyway, she is feeling very sorry for herself but excited about the baby. She has never worked and the future looks bleak. I can only hope that this all works out for her and the baby. I will support her all I can though, she has made a lot of mistakes in her life and I thought she had had 2 other pregnancies. In fact it has been 3 and this is the fourth. She had 2 miscarriages and feels she must goahead with this pregnancy. This is a really tangled web.

Martin left last night with Julia, so they could spend today with her mother. He was reluctant to go and I know he misses us very much when he is not here. Julia was again unwell over the weekend, nuff said! The kids would love to see Martin alone but I don't think it will happen unless we go to visit him. Hmmm, maybe I will do that if I can work out a couple of days off.

Not a great night's sleep last night! We didn't go to bed until about 1.30 a.m. and every time I settled down Billy began barking. I just can't lie there with maybe something happening downstairs or outside, so down I came and at 3 a.m. I was watching telly! Paul of course just lets me take over guard duties and sleeps on like a babe! We have had our car stolen twice from outside and also Rosie's bike. Billy really barked when the bike went and I ignored him, so I just have to go and check, just in case. One night he started barking and I threw open the window and sure enough there was a man near our car. I shouted out "what are you doing?" and he replied "I'm the milkman! ... oooh the embarrassment. Paul was shaking with laughter! Anyway, finally at 4 a.m. I went upstairs and this time my dear little dog finally settled and managed to get a good few hours of kip in!

I am taking Audrey out this afternoon to the local garden centre. She came over yesterday and asked what time we'd be going. I told her 2pm as I have some jobs to do here. She said "ooh, its cheaper there in the morning" .... I think she wanted to go in the morning, don't you? Poor Audrey is getting more senile and weak. She has lost so much weight and is telling me the same story over and over as if I hae never heard it before. She has been up and down to the hospital and as far as I know it is nothing too serious but she is on steroids and it has made the skin on her arms and legs very fragile. She is lonely and fed up and hangs on her gate waiting for someone to chat to. Although she is frail, she has been up and down the lane deadheading all the daffodils which are planted in the bank. She walks up and down to the village every day (which is a good mile in my reckoning). She visits here about 3 times a day if I am at home. She always brings something with her for us, brussel sprouts, old china, uneaten cakes with a chunk out, a lot of it is all out of date and then last week she tried to give me her old jacket. We have also had a pair of her husband's old swimming trunks ... don't laugh! She has no kids and if anyone would have made a great mother, it is her. She is now 78 and told me she tried infertility clinics years ago with no luck. Ahh.

Anyway, just got to go and do some jobs.

Hope everyone is having a lovely, restful time.

Hugs

Terry x

Busy, busy

2007-04-07T06:38:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

I have been really busy with this and that over the last week or so. The kitchen is coming along nicely and I got hot water back last Monday, my work top and my hob! Its so nice not washing up in the bath any more and we still can't get used to getting water from the kitchen sink and not the outside tap! We're still trying to find some tiles and think we may have found some today but they are rather expensive and we hope we may be able to get a discount on them. Now we have the kitchen, I don't think we'll be able to afford any food, ha ha.

Its nice to have a few days off from work and it gives me time to get my stuff back out of the shed. I have almost found everything and one bonus is that quite a few years ago Martin was working for Sainsburys and brought me home quite a lot of stainless steel kitchen stuff and we rediscovered the box of it all in the shed which I had almost forgotten about. I have lots of new shiny things, including rather a nice egg slicer and a lovely colander. I also remembered that I had bought a nice little chicken pelmet curtain and tea towels when I was in Orlando (from my favourite shop, Walmart). Hmm, I am a bit of a saddo - most people bring something Mickey Mouse back and there is me with my chicken curtain. I put it up yesterday and it makes the kitchen look very homely. AOL won't let me put any pictures up but you can guarantee you will be seeing the chicken curtain soon!

Apart from that, the children have now been on holiday for a week and both seem chilled out. Martin, my nephew, is back for the weekend and tonight he is cooking our favourite, Pad Thai, mmm mouth is watering already. He took the children out fishing yesterday afternoon and they came back to a nice dinner of gammon (I know, it should have been fish) and jacket skins filled with a cheese and mustard mix with cheese on top. I make a mean jacket skin, usually I like to put a few more things in but his girlfriend is rather fussy on what she eats.

This afternoon I intend to have a good tidy up, this place is looking a real tip ... I just can't believe where it all comes from.

My niece phoned up earlier and my great niece is pregnant again. This is her third pregnancy. She is 19 years old. She was only 16 on the first pregnancy and decided on an abortion, the second was a miscarriage andthis time she says it could be of two boys who got her pregnant, ooooh ..... I couldn't believe she had the abortion the first time, especially as she had a scan done before but it was her decision. I don't know what to say about this pregnancy except that perhaps it may make her grow up a bit if the pregnancy goes to term and she has to take responsibility for this child. Already though my niece thinks she may be the one who will bring the baby up. We'll see. Emma has always been difficult and has got herself into a few scrapes over the years. I really hope this child gets the mother it deserves. So, I may be a great great Auntie in October which I am actually excited about. I haven't spoken to my sister yet, the great grandmother to be, I think she will have some choice words about it.

I am off to my friend's wedding next Saturday and staying at the Holiday Inn in Basildon (I think!!) for the night. She is a lovely girl and looks just like Honey from Eastenders. She is one of the nicest people I know and I hope the sun shines for her on her special day.

It will make a nice weekend as its on a leisure complex, so we may go bowling before we come home. Matthew is off on his school sailing trip to Salcombe in Devon and Paul has to take him up his school on Sunday morning to get the coach by about 10 a.m. I will have to say my goodbyes on Saturday before I leave for the wedding. He is so looking forward to it and keeps wanting to pack his bag now. Unlike Rosie, he loves going away and doing things although he is always glad to get home and normally arrives back exhausted! He is put out because he can't take his PS thingy with him, so I have told him to take a few good books instead. Its good that he has started to read now and really enjoys a read before he settles down to sleep at night.

Dare I say that I am back to the tooth fairy on Tuesday. Its tooth out day for Rosie for her brace preparation and teeth cleaning for me, although she may start my root canal treatment .... eek! Thinking of taking my bed up the dental surgery although touch wood at the moment all is quiet on the zingy zangy front.

I had a very sad moment this week when I opened an email from a friend's sister. She was diagnosed with brain cancer late last year which was secondary from lung cancer. It was already to the brain when theydiscovered she was ill. They decided to give her a course of chemotherapy but she has become very ill and is now in the hospice being very sleepy. I do not think she will be here for much longer. Say a little prayer for cheeky Eileen with the twinkly eyes and raucous giggle.

Its just a reminder really that life is for living and to enjoy every day whatever it brings.

I hope everyone has a lovely, restful Easter.

Hugs

Terry x

Tooth fairy visit

2007-03-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

Evening all.

As usual I have had quite a busy week. I got my new specs on Saturday and am really pleased with them. I got some last year from specsavers and the prescription was never right, so I went back to Boots and can now see quite a bit better! Not many people have noticed that I have new specs because they are very similar to my old ones except these ones have brown frames. I also have some snazzy prescription sunglasses with diamonds on ... I knew I was really a princess. When I picked them up on Saturday it was busy in the shop and a young boy was working there, well there was no way I was letting him adjust my glasses so I took them without them being fitted properly. The sunglasses are fine but I have found things were looking a bit wonky, I think because the vari focal part was sitting correctly. It was really weird as everything looked like it was leaning down towards the right. Anyway, I managed to get back to Boots today and I am back on the straight and narrow. I can't believe how much more I can see with these and I knew last year when I got my specs from Specsavers they were not right but they just wouldn't accept it. One of my lenses was far to strong and that is why I was having problems. Argghhh.

Oh woe is me, I have been suffering tooth ache again when the temporary filling I had earlier this year (the tooth that drove me to the tooth fairy in the first place) decided to start to fall out. I managed to get an appointment with the dentist for this afternoon and touch wood, the twinges and twangs have disappeared. She put a bit more filling in and did no drilling, what a relief. Its a tooth that will have to have root canal work on and I am dreading it. I couldn't get out of the chair quickly enough after she put a bit more filling in to it today. I hope this bit of filling lasts me for a long time.

The kitchen is going well but we found out tonight that the worktop won't be fitted until Monday .... another weekend of washing up in the blimming bath. Oh well, I will really appreciate hot water in the kitchen and to be able to cook in there instead of using the microwave. It has been a long 3 weeks .... We are missing a few cupboard doors as the fittingswere the wrong way round but apparently all will be delivered and fitted as soon as the worktop is on. If we had had normal worktops we could be up and running by now ... I blame Mr Enthusiastic!

We had a great time on Saturday. Rosie was 12. Martin and his girlfriend were here and we went to TGI Fridays. I really enjoyed it this time although I think it is really overpriced. I really like their strawberry milkshakes. The service was wonderful and the atmosphere was good, loads of kids running round with their balloons and everyone was very happy. After that we went to see the new Mr Bean film. It was ok but not as funny as I had hoped although some parts did make me laugh out loud. I didn't fall asleep though, which makes a change for me. The kids really enjoyed it but I have a feeling this will be the last Mr Bean film.

I have booked a couple of days off with the children whilst they are on holidays. I can't believe Easter is here so quickly. I used to be an organiser for a German school who visited London every year just before Easter and I only stopped doing it a couple of years ago. Its such a relief not be involved in the stress of that any more. I hope the trip goes well though for all the children as they really enjoy it. They are all placed 2 or 3 in families, so they have company at all times if they feel a bit unsure or homesick. You wouldn't believe the times I had to make about 30-40 calls around when the coach was going to be in late or there were any delays. Yes, I will not be persuaded again. I wanted to stop when the children first came to live with me but it took me a couple of years to find someone to take it over from me and I was on a real guilt trip even then as I felt I was letting the school down by giving it up but quite honestly working fulltime and looking after the kids and then doing all that was really getting me down.

Oh well, off to bed now and hoping for a good sleep with no tooth ache!

Hugs to all.

Terry

More kitchen photos

2007-03-19T10:02:00.000-07:00

Oooh we have been having such fun today! The kitchen men have been and gone. They just flew back from their hols in Florida yesterday and were a bit jet lagged so although they were here at 8 am they left at 2pm, despite my pleas for them to stay. Just one more door, mister, pleeeeeeeeeease!!

So, after they left Rosie (who was allegedly at home sick today) posed about with Billy in the kitchen. Terrible picture of me ... I didn't even do my hair after my shower this morning but I have decided to brave putting it on here.

I have loads of new boxes in my living room now .... and eagerly awaiting their unpacking and installing tomorrow. I have found the box with all my new knobs in and so have contented myself with placing them in different positions on the doors. When Paul comes home I am sure we will have plenty of fun with the knobs too!

More pictures will follow .... you lucky people!

Hope everyone is having a good day.

Hugs,

Terry

When Irish eyes are smiling

2007-03-18T15:36:00.000-07:00

I can't let St Patrick's weekend go by without saying a word about my special and dear friend Mary. A big gap in my life has been left by such a tiny lady from County Cork. When I took a trip to her hometown just a month or so before she died I remember hearing this song and thinking yes, its true about those Irish eyes.

"There's a tear in your eye,
And I'm wondering why,
For it never should be there at all.
With such pow'r in your smile,
Sure a stone you'd beguile,
So there's never a teardrop should fall.
When your sweet lilting laughter's
Like some fairy song,
And your eyes twinkle bright as can be;
You should laugh all the while
And all other times smile,
And now, smile a smile for me.

When Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure, 'tis like the morn in Spring.
In the lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing.
When Irish hearts are happy,
All the world seems bright and gay.
And when Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure, they steal your heart away.

For your smile is a part
Of the love in your heart,
And it makes even sunshine more bright.
Like the linnet's sweet song,
Crooning all the day long,
Comes your laughter and light.
For the springtime of life
Is the sweetest of all
There is ne'er a real care or regret;
And while springtime is ours
Throughout all of youth's hours,
Let us smile each chance we get.

When Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure, 'tis like the morn in Spring.
In the lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing.
When Irish hearts are happy,
All the world seems bright and gay.
And when Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure, they steal your heart away."

I was proud to be your friend. So,please join me in a special toast to all those lovely Irish friends of ours on this special weekend.

Over and out. Hugs. Terry x

Chuckle Brothers

2007-03-18T02:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, yawn, yawn, heres some pictures of the kitchen ... they are coming tomorrow with my units, so that should be interesting. First one is of my new floor, didn't get my camera charged to show before and after! At the moment the walls are just yucky with everything off and showing the damage from my washing machine leakages over the years and everything has been stripped off the walls, including very sticky wallpaper which was on one wall and the ceiling. I am really pleased with the floor and don't feel so depressed about it all now. I can actually see light at the end of the tunnel. I'll post some more pictures when the units are installed.

Well, we have had a lovely weekend so far. Yesterday we dashed about everywhere. I took Matthew out for yet more shoes (football damaged yet again!) and some more new clothes. He is growing so tall and the inches seem to add every week. At 5pm I had tickets to take them to see the Chuckle Brothers at our local theatre. He is one of their biggest fans and I kept it as a complete surprise from him. I told him we were going there to pick up some tickets for a friend. As per usual, I spent too long shopping and it ended up in a sprint after parking the car to get to the theatre in time. His face was wonderful when he realised he was going to see his idols! I thoroughly enjoyed the boys .. got a bit worried when they ran around with shaving foam on plates and stopped just next to me though but luckily the man behind got it in his face! We got soaked as they kept throwing water over us but it was good, old fashioned slapstick and family fun. We came out of the theatre feeling full of good cheer along with posters and hats! When the little darlings eventually wake up, I'll take a picture of Matthew with his hat.

This week has been quite busy and very disorganised. We can't find anything as the children keep moving the food stuff around and the poor cat had dog food one night for his dinner. The cat is loving the new washing machine, which is in the living room (plus the tumble drier and freezer .... oooooh) - its his new bed as he loves to lie on it. Hopefully, his new bed will be installed in its rightful position in the next few days.

I have been thinking of Jeanette this week, especially on Friday when she had her operation. I hope all went well for her. It takes me back to when my sisters went through their operations and all the stress and worry we had then. The drugs they have now are even better and I am impressed how quickly Jeanette has been seen and how quickly action has been taken.

A terrible thing happened this week. One of my friends at work lost her little nephew aged only 18 months after he fell out of a third floor window whilst on holiday in Morocco visiting family. Apparently his mother didn't even realise until she heard screaming outside. Its so awful, what a terrible tragedy. How do you carry on after that. Apparently, his mother and father were admitted to hospital as they were so agitated and inconsolable. Please say a prayer for them.

Events like this make me contemplate life. My thought for the day is make the most of every moment, as it will never come again.

I do wish every one a happy mother's day ... not you Gaz or Jim!

Hugs

Terry x

I am in the swing now

2007-03-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

Just in case my buttons go again .... here are another couple of scanned pictures. Me and Barb at the fair, I am the one with the balloon. Then there is a picture of me without a balloon but with my dear Paul on our wedding day, 29 years ago.

Hugs

Terry x

Blimey I have got my buttons back

2007-03-10T08:38:00.000-08:00

Hello, this is a surprise, I have got my buttons back although everything seems very small screened!

I am posting a picture of my dear sister, Barbara, taken in her early 20s. Wasn't she beautiful. I lost her in 2001 and an angel left the earth that day. She was the loveliest of sisters and a true friend.

Hugs.

Terry x

The Dump

2007-03-10T00:16:00.000-08:00

I am just wondering where the heck the last 30 years have gone? It only seems yesterday that I was getting ready to marry Paul and I was 21. The time has flashed by and I just can't believe how quickly. He has turned into his father and me into my mother! Good job I liked his dad, eh?

We had a great day together in the kitchen! It should be completely gutted by tomorrow when the sink finally goes, oooooh. I have builder type cuts on my arms and old lady aches in my shoulders and back from getting it all out but it was a good day off and we managed to achieve a lot. Matthew was a great help when he got home from school, he absolutely loved taking the screws out of the cabinets and flattening them. Then we managed two trips up the dump (on the second one getting perilously close to the time of the dump closing, which made it a very exciting drive. having to be careful and not brake too hard with all the load of wood behind us).

I really do like it up the dump. Its very orderly. Lots of great big containers all clearly marked with what they are for with steps leading up. Its interesting to see all the things people get rid of too. Lots of tellys and computer screens in a pile, children's bikes tidily stacked together and bits and bobs of furniture, some quite nice. Maybe the dump men sell those things on to people rather than just crushing them. Also they have containers up there for plastic bottles, black bags, bottles, cans etc. I really must get greener and start sorting my stuff out more. I do separate the newspapers but that is all I do. After my visit, I think I will return with all my sorted stuff more regularly. I am really sad but I think I wouldn't mind sitting up there and just watching for an hour or so with a coffee to see what other people are bringing there. Just imagine, all that has been going on up there without my knowing. Theres an idea, perhaps a coffee shop franchise to be set up at dumps, I think it would go down a storm.

I got up early today. Billy started coughing which stopped by the time I had got up and full awake. So, off we went for his morning constitutional and he is now asleep and I am raring to go! Its lovely when I take him for his walk on a day like today. The weather is lovely and we do a little walk up the fields together. I am on my second loadof washing - its my last day with my machine and I will be a launderette girl from now until all is fixed back in. I will not waste a minute today, saying my last goodbye to the machine that rules my life.

Martin got back late last night and the we were all excited to see him again. I got him a football cake from M&S and put 28 candles on it! It took him 4 hours to drive here and he was exhausted but its lovely to have him back for the weekend.

I must mention before going about Jeanette and her bad news this week. I was really sad to hear that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer but I am hopeful that she will receive the best treatment and all will be ok.

At the same time, welcome back Jim and I hope to hear good news about your boy when you manage to get a post on.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Hugs

Terry x

Tells the Builder

2007-03-07T23:58:00.000-08:00

I have today off, yeah! Today I am going to wear my builders hat as the time has ticked by and next Thursday the man is coming to lay the kitchen tiles and guess who still has a kitchen full of things?

We are sending our little darlings off to school and then the demolition will commence. Everything is coming out and I will be without it all for another 3 or 4 weeks.

Great excitement too in our house as Martin (our prodigal nephew) is coming back from Leeds for the weekend and this is very good timing as he can help shift the freezer out from our kitchen tomorrow night! We have arranged to go bowling on Saturday night, which is a really popular thing with us all and the children especially love it. I am off to work again on Sunday but hope it will be the last Sunday I work for a while.

I have just finished an excellent book - no not the one I mentioned before - its called Losing Gemma by Katy Gardner. I can thoroughly recommend it if anyone wants to read it. Basically its about 2 girls going on a trip to India. Even though I have never been a backpacker or been to India, I felt I was there!

Have a lovely day everyone.

Hugs.

Terry x

ah ha!

2007-03-03T04:43:00.000-08:00

Here I am again, managed to sneak in by the back door as I still haven't got my blimming button (ha ha Gaz!). A woman without her button is like a ship without the sea!

What can I say about this week? Well, its been busy as usual with work and was stuck there last night too because everyone is sick and there was no-one to cover the overtime. Then the most horrendous journey home because of signal problems, arggghhh!

Never mind, I was up at the crack of dawn today and have already been out and got some shopping. I am very popular because I came home with hot cross buns and cakes.

Today Matthew is being on his absolutely best behaviour. This will probably last until we go and get the game I have promised him this afternoon but in the meantime my wish is his command, hmmm perhaps I should delay going until really late this afternoon? After the dog bite his nose is not healing that great, mainly I think because he keeps fiddling with it. Methinks I shall have to make that a condition of getting the game. I went to his school one evening this week, where they discussed his options. They don't take GCSEs at his school but do take another form of exam. He is the youngest in his class and he'll be 14 at the end of August. I think this all kicks off next year. There are some mandatory subjects but also a lot of sporty things, which he is opting to do. I am going to try to organise myself more at weekends and try to get him into more sports clubs. At the moment its crazy because I have to keep going into work on a Sunday so I am doing 6 day weeks. Hopefully this will all calm down soon.

Rosie is fine too. This week we'll go to the orthodontist and she'll start her brace treatment. She has to have a tooth out in the next week or so and its terrible timing after her seeing me with all my problems after having mine out. I have explained to her that its because I had an infection etc., etc., and I am hoping she will heal up quicker than I have. She is looking forward to getting her front tooth straightened though, so hopefully she'll keep thinking of the end result. She seems to have really settled down at school now. Things are not always that great with her and her old best friend but she has made friends with other girls now and I don't get the phone calls from her at every break time. My heartused to miss a beat when I saw her number flash up and then heard her poor little flat voice saying hello. She also seems to be settling down to her homework a bit more. Its such a big transition changing from primary to senior school. In her case, she is now catching a train and walking to school whereas this time last year we were still cautious about letting her walk to the school in the village. The school is really large (approx 160 girls in the first year) and the village school was very small and everyone knew everyone. We had a lot of problems getting her into this secondary school and this time last year we had a lot of tears because she didn't get in when we first applied. We had gone all round looking at the schools she was eligible to get and when the letter came she was allocated our third choice, which we only put down because we didn't think they would possible allocate it. We felt really punched in the teeth when we were given that. Happily all worked out well in the end for her. However, I still remember that awful disappointment and helplessness we felt. We even put in for an official appeal and my boss at work (a solicitor) was going to present it for us. Luckily we managed to get a place on the third run-off on places. I do feel for the children and parents who may have lost out on their preferred places for secondary school this year. Its hard to be a parent! I have gone on a bit here, but it was very emotive and frustrating at the time.

Onwards and upwards though, the kitchen is still being stripped out. Mr Enthusiastic has now taken off all the tiles and we are moving things into our living room ready for the big rip out. I have ordered my new washing machine and tumble drier and so everything we can organise is almost complete. I will try to get some photos of before and after on here but as I am having so many other problems with AOL at the moment, I am not even going near the picture putting on part!

I have heard from my friend at work who has gone to New Zealand. It seems she is having a fabulous time and enjoying the rest now she has left our mad house at work.

The rest of us at work are all getting very excited about the wedding of one of our friends. She has been off on maternity leave and will be back a month and then she is getting married. We are all planning to stay in hotels near to the venue. I have reserved a room with breakfast at the Holiday Inn but have seen a better deal at a travel lodge but without breakfast, so am making my mind up what to do. I don't really need posh, I shall only be using it overnight. There is a posh hotel that a lot of them want to book into but I don't think that will be for me.

Anyway, I have waffled on enough. I hope everyone has had a good week.

Hugs to all.

Terry x

Computers

2007-02-24T17:10:00.000-08:00

Oh dear, after messing around with other things I decided to do system restore to a week or so ago, so I have managed to get my buttons back so I can post. Hmm, now what can I tell you?

I've had a strange old week at work. We said goodbye to a girl, who is off on her travels after spending 8 months or so with us. I got quite fond of her and it will be strange without her. She did not get on with her boss at all though and it will be a relief not to have the tension every day. She was a real character and has been through a lot in her life. She has managed to get herself off drugs whilst she has been in the UK away from all the bad influences back at home and I admire her for sorting herself out.

High scandal at work on Friday though when it was revealed that a really old chap there had had a child with one of the younger ladies on the staff. No-one could believe it and everyone is stunned. The baby is under a year old and the dad must be nearly 70 and looks like tweedledee whilst the younger lady is like a fashion model. He obviously not only has a wonderful personality ....

On the teeth front, I have finally made it a week without painkillers. Today was my return to the tooth fairy! Not a pleasant visit but although I waited with trepidation for the injection to wear off and the pain to begin, all is quiet and pain free still. Its such a relief. Anyway, I have a couple more visits with her for gum cleaning or whatever so the sorry saga of Tells and her teef is not over yet.

We watched a really funny film this afternoon, called RV with Robin Williams. We got it cheap at Tescos last week in their sale. If anyone wants a giggle I recommend it.

God knows what I am doing sat here at this time. I have to be up early as Matthew has a scout "do" tomorrow and I have to drive him there. It sounds like a fun day for him, archery, shooting, football, this that and the other!

Anyway, must get myself up the wooden stairs. Wishing you all a happy week.

Hugs.

Terry x

2007-02-23T23:21:00.000-08:00

Oh dear, I seem to have lost my buttons to add an entry to my journal, so I am trying this through by buddy list to see if it enters any text in my journal. Maybe if this appears someone can advise me where my buttons to add an entry have gone.

Hugs
Terry

I love Saturdays

2007-02-17T14:02:00.000-08:00

I was going to post earlier but all me buttons were gone! I had my glasses on and still couldn't seem them. Anyway, they have reappeared now, how strange.

I hope everyone has had a good week. Jim's son, Kevin, has been very poorly but things seem to be going better now for him http://journals.aol.co.uk/halliday0957/nosundays/ so that is a relief. Jim writes a lovely journal and is worth a visit.

I am so happy to tell you that the tooth fairy is now being kinder to me. The pain where I had my extractions eased off by this Thursday and apart from still having a slightly numb lip, all in my mouth is feeling a lot more cheery. I am due to go back again next Saturday (am I mad??) for another filling I need, so will have to go but hope the days of suffering are over.

It has been a good week for me because I didn't work Monday or Friday because the children are on half term. Shame is that I have to go into work tomorrow as I am so far behind but it will be good to do it without the phones going constantly and other interruptions. I hope to get up early and get in by 9am, hmmm best laid plans!

We went to the orthodontist yesterday for both Matthew and Rosie. Matthew has been going for about 4 years now because he had overcrowding and his teeth were getting very goofy at the front. He has a set of nashers to be proud of now and is wearing retainers for a few more months. Rosie is right at the start. As you know, she got turned down for treatment under the NHS - would you believe for 1mm difference to her twisted front tooth. Anyway, her teeth shouldn't take too long to sort out (approx 2 years of treatment) and we start in earnest with a tooth having to be taken out (oh my poor child) and then three appointments next month. Maybe it is moving faster because we are having to pay for it *£1400!!!! Matthew's appointments were far further apart. Anyway, she is fed up with her front tooth and says it makes cleaning her teeth and eating difficult, so it will be done. She has a strange thing on her bottom jaw. A tooth which is trying to grow out sidewards. They are leaving well alone, although it could be operated on but it could cause paralysis of her lips. I wonder if they have paralysed my lip with those extractions last week, it feels pretty strange and its almost in the same position as Rosie's funny tooth. Time will tell.

Matthew's nose is healing well and his lesson has been learnt. He is keeping well away from Billy! Actually, we have had a good holiday with Matthew and I hope when he goes back to school he will remember to behave there too.

We went to the pictures with some friends yesterday and saw the new Hugh Grant film. I can't say I was terribly impressed, in fact I fell asleep and Rosie was in fits of giggles as she nudged me and woke me up.

Today we went looking at washing machines and tumble driers again. I wanted to make sure I had the correct model numbers as they all look the same online. I saved over £100 getting my freezer online, it makes you think doesn't it. I have also noticed that prices vary from week to week on the websites. We ended up wandering into Argos and I bought a new kettle which lights up when its on standby and boiling. Paul was not impressed but I keep turning the light off in the kitchen and admiring it ....

The kitchen is looking like a bombsite. We are getting ready for the men!! I have had many a happy time out there skewering off tiles and Paul has taken a few cupboards off the wall. We have about 4 weeks to go before we have to have it gutted but we are going well and hope to have one half empty by next weekend. I have also hit on a good idea for when I am without the kitchen. I will bring home meals from my works canteen. Ha!! They are cheaper than takeaways and cooked by top chefs. Blimey, why am I bothering with a new kitchen, I could just do that all the time!

Thought I'd just mention that I got a great book from the charity shop this week, which I can't wait to start. Its called Joe's War My Father Decorded by a woman called Annette Kobak. Joe's War is a mesmerising and dramatic account of a daughter's search for her father's secret life, during and after the Second World War. For Annette Kobak there was always something mysterious about her father, Joe, something dark. For forty-five years the reasons for his silence were left unspoken. His story, she discovered was remarkable. Born in Czechoslovakia, he escaped aged 19, from German-occupied Poland in the spring of 1940 and joined the Polish army in France, ending up intercepting Morse Code in a top-secretunit in London. I think its a true story and can't wait to get my teeth into it (hmm, not literally you know). I pick up some wonderful books in the charity shops round here, when I go in them its like being a kid in a sweet shop! I'll give a review on this one, when I have finished it.

Anyway, off I go for now. Hugs to everyone.

Terry x

Teeth

2007-02-10T01:28:00.000-08:00

This week has been rotten, mainly teeth problems!

First of all, everyone did like my hair and I have really enjoyed doing it in the mornings, a quick flick with the hairdrier and a bit of wax and it looks really funky. I will take a photo but as you will read soon, I look like a chipmunk, so the photo will have to wait a little until normal services are resumed on the face front.

As you know, I have been suffering with my teeth over the last month or so. I just couldn't stand it any more by Monday, so called the dentist and brought my appointment forward. Well, I thought I was in pain before but it was doubled after my two teeth extraction. I think where one tooth was particularly infected it made the extraction even more difficult. I ended up having 5 injections. The other tooth wasn't too bad as I had root canal work on it previously. I could hardly feel my tongue and could hardly talk when I got out the chair. The dentist gave me a little sheet with instructions on what to do after the extraction and it had some small cotton plugs attached in an envelope to use if it kept on bleeding. Well, I was in such a state that I think I left the sheet there. I came out all of a wobble and felt like an old, old lady.

Paul came and met me and told me that Billy had bitten Matthew on the nose. Matthew has special needs and has been told again and again not to tease him but he will not stop. Whilst I was out he thought it would be fun to goad Billy by pinching his ear to see if his lip would go up as apparently he likes to see him do that, can you believe. He is always trying to tease the dog and I have told him over and over to leave him alone. So, I staggered in to see Matthew's nose very badly bitten. At first he was upstairs and wouldn't come down and show me, he had even asked Paul not to tell me. I phoned the doctors and they said his tetanus injections were up to date and that savlon was the best thing to put on his nose. I felt so unwell and so shocked by the state of poor Matthew's nose that I lay on the settee for a while, trying to stop the pain and the bleeding of my teeth whilst I got my equilibrium back. When I asked him to look again, I noticed his mouth had been bitten as well, the dog had got him good. So, off I took him to the hospital as I was worried about the infection near his mouth. They thought Iwas the patient as I was bleeding from my mouth. Luckily he didn't need stitches, they used some steri strips and gave him some antibiotics. I think he felt better after being seen but has learned a hard lesson. What a terrible day it was. Even Rosie was crying because she was so upset with Matthew's nose and me and my teeth!

I managed to get myself into work yesterday. I had to go in because I am off on Monday with the children and had to get the overtimes into salaries as that is part of my job. I stayed until 7.30 and was really glad to get home and was in bed by 10. I have got up today and had to take another painkiller but my face doesn't seem quite a swollen. Its wierd as its hurting more up the top where I had no teeth out than on the bottom, its probably nerves all jangling.

We are still busy here getting ready for the kitchen and my new freezer will arrive on Tuesday. I got the best deal from Boots on line would you believe? It worked out cheapest and I get advantage points, so that helps with the delivery charge. Its arriving a bit too soon but at least we can test it out but we'll have to have it in the living room because its bigger than the one I have at the moment and there is no space in the kitchen to fit it yet.

Last weekend I had a great time buying some new things for when the kitchen is done. Its really sad but my favourite thing is my fushia coloured strainer. Hmmm, I could always wear it on my head to detract attention away from my face at the moment.

I hope you all have a great weekened.

Hugs, Terry x

Brunettes have more fun!

2007-02-03T06:01:00.000-08:00

Hey, yesterday a granny sat here typing with grey hair ... today a brunette bombshell has taken her place! God, every time I look in the mirror I get a shock, its so dark. I have been blonde (well ok, with quite a bit of grey) for quite a few years now and now I am a startling brunette. Oh what a laugh it will be when I go into work on Monday and they see it, I am sure I will get quite a few comments. It is also quite a bit shorter, so I have funked it up and feel like a real trendy chick. I have even put some dangly earrings in and I am shaking my head around a bit so they are noticed. I also put some blusher on and may get some new lippy for Monday, so I really stun them. By the way, I had a lovely time at the hairdressers. I was there for 2 and a half hours and felt so pampered and it felt wonderful having the time to do it. I was shocked at how busy it was, every single station was full with ladies with various bits of foil in their hair and other wonderful contraptions around them. I thoroughly enjoyed my head massage whilst my hair was being conditioned and it took a lot of tension out of my head with the toothache. I was really tempted to ask to have my nails done. I have never had them done in a salon before but was worried in case it hurt ... I don't think I could stand someone filing my nails or cutting them, I used to hate it so when my mum used to do it, so I will leave that until another time.

Paul liked the colour of my hair but I didn't like the way she had styled it, so up to the shower and a bit of fiddling and I was happy then.

Matthew noticed I had had my hair cut but I had to tell him today after a few hours that I had had it coloured too. He hadn't even noticed, bless him.

I feel a lot better today, the tooth fairy is being kind today and giving me a break. The constant throbbing seems to have stopped - is it really fair though to suffer so after a filling? I must have been a bad woman in my life.

Martin is back from Leeds with the lovely Julia and we are going out to Homebase as he has a 20pct off voucher so I must go and buy something there! We are then going bowling, so sod the housework today. I haven't got to work tomorrow, which feels a luxury after doing the last three Sundays on the trot, so I intend a bit of a lay in and then I will take up duty with my trustee iron again.

Have a lovely Saturday everyone.

Hugs. Terry x

My blimming computer

2007-02-02T03:58:00.000-08:00

I am back on line (goodness knows whether its temporarily or not) as the engineer came today and my graphic card is kaput but luckily I have a separate graphics card and they have switched a switch so I can use it. I have to wait for delivery of a new one, so may go bang again at any moment! I am ploughing through the alerts, so hopefully you'll be reading my comments - I think I have over 150!

I have still been really busy at work, although I have today off because the computer engineer came. I worked Sunday (which was the third in a row) and then every night, except Monday, I have not got home until 8.30 pm, so feeling rather tired.

The tooth fairy is not being kind to me either. On Saturday I presented myself back at the dentist for the further excavations to my gob! After 30 minutes of drilling etc., I emerged with two new fillings and looking like Elvis when I talked as one injection was top right and the other one was bottom front. The kids screamed with laughter when I got home and kept making me sing Elvis songs! Needless to say, I have been in pain with the top right since it has been done and will have to wait until next week when my dentist gets back to our local surgery for her to look at it. I think I have got myself a nice infection or it may be that she has jangled the nerves and it is taking time settling down again. So much for trying to sort things out in my mouth, I never had any pain from this tooth before she filled it. Anyway, I have to have 2 teeth out still and one more filling, god help me! This is why I am a shivering wreck when I go to the dentist, I always end up in more pain than I started with.

Also, more on the kitchen front. I have some taps on my table! They are the first item purchased for the new kitchen. Paul got them from his shop and I am trying to be excited about them, although its hard to get excited about a pair of taps, although they are rather elegant. I would have liked some with little gadgets on, say a little thing I could pull out and spray dishes with etc., etc., but Mr Enthusiastic tells me that there is more to go wrong! Perhaps it will more thrilling when the new units get delivered on 19th March and the job begins.

The car is playing up too! A little light has come on and its something to do with emissions. We phoned our garage and a man has to come with adiagnostic thingy on Wednesday, so they can tell what is wrong before they do it .... I have got to win the lottery and soon.

We have booked a holiday up with Pontins for August. I got a call from them the other day with a special offer and so decided that we would go again. We'll just use it as a base and travel about from them to various places like Great Yarmouth etc. My lovely sister, Chris, is coming too, hooray! She is great company and I know we'll have a great time together. Rosie is really excited that we are going back to Pontins and has been practising songs to sing for the talent competition, so everyone is very happy we are going back.

Rosie is getting on better with her "friends" although its sad to know that all most of them do is bitch about each other. I have told her that its not a good way to be and that she should avoid being led into situations where she is asked to comment about others. Perhaps a girls only school was not a good idea. Meanwhile though she seems to be getting ok with her lessons apart from her homework, which we have now sorted out. Basically, she wasn't doing what she should have been doing and because I am out at work until at least 6.30 each evening, I thought she had been doing properly ..... hmmmmm. She is now going upstairs away from the lure of the tv and all those wonderful programmes, she loves until it is done. She has learned a lesson. Anyway, its all ok now and its a shame that she got herself into a state about it, I hate it when she gets sad and worried but am glad that she was able to talk to me about it and I am now checking it all every night.

Matthew has been cheeky at school and has a little book now he has to bring home and show me regarding his behaviour. As you know he goes to a special school for children with moderate learning difficulties. He doesn't get any homework at all! He is nearly 14 and very hormonal but it is out of character for him to be cheeky at school. He actually said no to a teacher when she told him that he had to stay in the classroom at break because he had been calling out in the lesson and had been disruptive! We had a big talk about it and I think he realises now that it is not acceptable.

They are both missing Martin but tonight the prodigal nephew is coming back to spend the weekend with us. We have really felt his absence here, especially when the dustbins have to go out! Seriously though, I wish he had got a job nearer to home than Leeds, it seems so far away from us. With all the hectic weekends we have had here, there is not enough time in the day to make plans to visit him. Anyway, hopefully it will be a special time for Matthew and Rosie having their brother home this weekend.

As I have a bit of time, I have phoned the hairdressers and I am hoping that all the grey is going to go away by this afternoon! I have been colouring it myself but the last couple of times it hasn't been that great and I notice quite a bit of grey at the back, oooooooh! I think the pampering will do me good.

I'll try and put some more of mummy's memoirs on soon.

Ok, I have rambled on a bit here but its nice to have had the chance without this computer just crashing on me! I hope all of you are ok and hope to catch up with all the alerts soon.

Hugs to all

Terry x

oooh dear

2007-01-25T14:26:00.000-08:00

my computer has badly crashed, so I am on Rosie's laptop, which is really difficult to type on! I hope to get the main computer sorted out soon but fear that I will not be making many entries at the moment. So, sorry if there are not a lot of comments from me but I am trying to read my alerts which are building up. It may be a week or so before normal service is commenced! I think its either my monitor or graphic card but am waiting for my nephew to come back and to run a few things ... argh its only 6 months old and I spent over an hour on a pricey help/complaint line the other night which resulted in me losing everything on my computer! Next time I call them it will be to take the blimming thing away!

Hugs

Terry x

Relief

2007-01-22T15:18:00.000-08:00

I should have come on here before to do an entry but I have been having terrible troubles with my computer, its been freezing and crashing. Tonight it has been sorted out I hope and I have just delivered my clever nephew home. I have only had this computer for 6 months and I don't like it very much!

All is well with Rosie after the talk with her friend and her mother. Rosie seems a lot happier in herself and although I think they are not best friends, they have both compromised and are thinking a little more about how they treat each other.

Some great news, my sister Chris had her all clear last week after being 5 years cancer free. She had a masectomy and I believe this helped her survive. She is a wonderful girl and I am so proud and lucky to have her as my sister. She is really my rock and is always so loving to me.

I have been very busy over the last week or so. With the new changes at work, I seem to have spent a lot of time there and we are very badly behind because a lot of the new systems simply don't work properly. I have had to work the last two Sundays and will be going again this Sunday. Also, I have done quite a few late evenings.

We attended a funeral last week. It was very sad. Paul's cousin's son died at only 43 with stomach cancer. He has left a loving wife and two teenagers and his parents. He was very loved and the crematorium was absoutely packed, we had to really squeeze in and they were standing in the aisle. They played Hotel California as he was brought in and Bohemian Rapshody as we left. He choose these songs. It seems so unfair that a good man has gone so young.

The kitchen project has still been driving us to arguments and general testiness! Mr Enthusiastic is very firm on what he wants - hmmm, its me who spends longer in there! The kitchen fitter was supposed to come last Thursday to talk things over again with us but I was stuck up London because all trains from Liverpool Street were cancelled for quite a time. I was lucky in the end though because they ran a train to a nearby town and so I was not too late home although by the time they decided to run it I had already bought new underwear and a wash kit because I thought I would not get home and have to sleep in the office.

Anyway, we made a new arrangement to see the kitchen fitter on Saturday and we have now agreed on the worktops. All we are waiting for is another meeting with him tomorrow night, for final measuring etc. I have found a nice freezer at a good price at Comet on Line (a Bosch) and am now looking to find a washing machine and tumble drier. I saw the freezer for £100 more in Curries!! I have just got to find some time to look, although it seems you can get these sorts of things delivered very quickly. We are trying to get the kitchen started on the 12th March, so when we finally get it done I'll put some pictures on. We have to clear it before and get the floor tiled, so it looks like we'll be eating sandwiches for quite a while although I have been promised that the washing machine, tumble drier and freezer will be available almost immediately the units start to go in.

Anyway, hope everyone is ok.

Hugs.

Terry

Confrontations

2007-01-13T15:54:00.000-08:00

As I have mentioned before, my little girl, Rosie, has been having problems at her new secondary schools. Not only has she been bullied by older girls but she also made an enemy of her best friend when she decided that she didn't want to be bossed about by her any more and told her best friend they should just be friends.

This last week has been rotten for Rosie. The "best friend" has ganged up with all the other girls Rosie travels with at the station and they have been doing the ignoring trick and whispering and giggling trick and mentioning Rosie's name so she can hear. Rosie also didn't want anyone at her new school knowing her past but her "best friend" decided yesterday to also tell others about it and then confessed to Rosie after school what she had done.

I got a call from her mother tonight. I have a good friendship with her. She is outraged at what her daughter has done and didn't even realise what had been going on over the last few months. We went round tonight and have had a heart to heart with the girls and let them put their differences to each other. |Both me and her mother were in tears at times and the girls seem to be ok now and hopefully from Monday all will be well. Keep your fingers crossed.

Oooh feel all cried out and I have to go to work tomorrow.

Hugs.

Terry xx

Confession of a coward

2007-01-09T10:30:00.000-08:00

Heres my story, its not pretty.

After 5 years of cowardice I had to take myself to the dentist. I have been suffering excruciating toothache for a couple of months now and it came to a crescendo this weekend. In my defence, I have had some awful dental experiences in the past, a bridge that went wrong resulting in an op on my gum and then a visit to a dentist where I let her do 4 fillings at once, one of the fillings broke the next day (a Saturday) and cut my tongue up all weekend and on the other side the fillings zinged together. It resulted in a week or so of pain before sorting them out. It has really put me off, so I have really been frightened of letting anyone near my teeth again.

My friends have been nagging and nagging at me to go to the dentist as they know I have been in pain a lot. I have made lots of appointments and cancelled them as the toothache gets under control again. I have found a good way of pain control is to smearing sensodyne over the offending tooth most of the day and in the middle of the night but relief has been short lasting. I knew the time had come and I had to go.

The time for my appointment was at 2.10 this afternoon and I felt embarrassed and angry at myself for being such a wimp. It was a lady dentist and she was very nice to me and not judgmental. She knows me as she sees the kids.

The tooth that has been really killing me has now got a temporary filling in and I may lose it once she examines the xrays of it as it may not be possible to do a root canal treatment on it.

I have a half hour appointment on the 27th I am going back to talk about this tooth and to have another 2 fillings. I think I'll be going for quite a few more appointments too.

At the moment I am waiting for the injection to wear off and feel sorry for myself but determined to sort my teeth out once and for all. I need a lot of treatment and I feel such a hypocrite as I have taken the children regularly and let them go through this without submitting to it myself. My resolution for 2007 is to get this sorted out.

Now you know!

Hugs.

Terry x

Kitchens

2007-01-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

Oh what a day it has been! We have decided that we have to have a new kitchen. Truth is, I decided - Paul is quite reluctant even though bits are falling off our kitchen and its a real dump! Today I had made an appointment at MFI, so we could get a plan and see exactly what is involved. Mr Reluctant left it right until the last minute to measure up and we left home in the nick of time for our 1pm appointment. Our kitchen is 10 x 12 and the ceilings are quite low because we live in a very old cottage. Well, we have found all there are all new rules and regulations if you get your kitchen fitted professionally, even to the point that we have to do something about our electrics to conform. Also it seems it will cost a small fortune just for about 12 units and worktop etc. Eeeekkkk!

I have come home quite depressed, with a picture of a kitchen set up that I don't really like and now Mr Reluctant is raring to go and I have lost interest!

We were told to come home and look again at the kitchen. Well I have looked and its still a dump!! So I suppose we'll have to go on with the quest for our kitchen. We have got Moben coming for an appointment to measure and design a kitchen here on Thursday night. If you never hear from me again it will because they have tied me up and made me sign my life away to them!

Mr Reluctant is now talking of tiling the kitchen floor and is stepping brightly around with his tape measure. I just feel really fed up!

Work has been awful this week. Nothing on the computer systems worked properly and everything we have tried to do has been frustrating. A nice touch was that we all got a free cupcake on Friday as a "treat". Hmmmm. I suppose it didn't help going back after the Christmas break will all the build up of emails and filing etc., let alone trying to get our heads around a new system which didn't work properly. Hopefully this week will be better. We have been so manic that last night I didn't get home until 10.30 p.m.

Martin, my nephew, left his job yesterday ready to start at Asda in Leeds the week after next. Ahhh, he is packing up at the moment and I suppose I am fed up too because we'll miss him so. He leaves here on Wednesday. The only good thing is that we'll have a bit more room round here.

I was on my way to work yesterday and realised that it was the day Matthew should be back at school. He was still slumbering at home! Paul dashed back home and tipped him out of bed ... its a really silly idea having to go back to school on a Friday! Last night Matthew went to Scouts and was so excited to be made a patrol leader. He has moderate learning difficulties and its a real thrill that he has settled there and now been given this responsibility. He is now lowering the flag at the end of the Scouts session. Ahhhh.

Rosie goes back to school on Monday. I hope that she will settle in a bit better now. The first term has been a nightmare, for her, what with older girls being bullies, her falling out with her best friend, having her things taken etc. etc.

Oh well, off to do my shopping in a minute ... Martin is going to take me, so I will not have to worry about driving in this horrible weather.

Hugs to all.

Terry x

Back to work

2007-01-01T09:40:00.000-08:00

Its back to work for me tomorrow. It seems ages since I was last there. Its all change and after 30 years of working for my company we have been taken over by the Americans! Yes, all systems will be go and completely different tomorrow, even a name change. I am really lucky as I don't have to change offices. If they had decided to move our particular department, it would add at least 1 hour to my day in travelling (its already 2 hours a day) and £3 a day fares on a bus. I had a 4 hour computer course about their systems a week or so before we broke up for Christmas and am wondering whether I'll remember anything - now where did I put those hand outs? I am dreading going back to the build up of emails and filing I will have to do but I must admit that I am getting a little bored at home and am looking forward to seeing my friends and hearing about their time over Christmas. My bosses were so generous to me over Christmas, I have loads of M&S vouchers and Boots vouchers to spend which they gave me. Its weird though, every time I get these vouchers I find them so hard to part with whereas I have no trouble normally going and spending money in those shops.

I have been out with Rosie to our shopping centre and got myself some new jeans and a pair of black cords. I think I have lost weight over the holiday believe it or not. Probably its because I have not been near the cake table at work for a week or so. I will wear my new cords and a red top to work tomorrow and stun them all with my slimmer hips. All I need to do now is lose some off top! I have always been slimmer below.

Martin has had to take his girlfriend, Julia, to the NHS drop in centre as she has really bad cystistis. It is a 3 hour journey home for her to Stafford and I somehow think that will now happen today as it is already 5pm and they have been gone for a couple of hours now. Its a shame, they didn't go out last night because she was unwell and they could have gone to a party in our village where my other nephew, David, was.

Yesterday was very relaxed. I made an old childhood favourite for dinner. Pilchard pie! Its lovely, get a couple of tins in tomato sauce and mash them up a bit at the bottom of a pyrex dish. Boil up some potatoes and mash, adding butter and milk. Dot over the pilchards and top with grated cheese. Half an hourin the oven and its gorgeous, especially with a tossed salad. You either love it or hate it! Rosie really loved it but Matthew was not so keen. Ha ha, they will have it again now that I have remembered it.

We then had a very quiet New Year's Eve and stayed at home, eating some goodies and watching the television. I did have a little dance around as the clock struck 12, a bit like the can can! The London fireworks were really impressive but I was glad not to be in that crowd of people in the cold.

Audrey has been over a couple of times today, bringing me more brussel sprouts on one visit! She often comes with brussel sprouts, I must look in need.

Ok, off now to make a lovely prawn cocktail for the kids and Paul. This will be followed with Pizza al la Tells.

Hugs.

Terry x

Happy New Year

2006-12-31T17:02:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to everyone. I am attaching a couple of pictures ...

First Rosie under the Christmas Tree

and then my dear friend, Audrey, all dressed up to go to Christmas dinner. She has been poorly the last few months and has been on steroids but is feeling a bit better now, thank goodness.

And heres a photo of my cheeky nephew, Martin, taken at a Polish wedding we went to the other year.

Thanks to all for your friendship over the last few months. I really value my time with you all and being part of your worlds. I wish you all a very happy new year.

Hugs.

Terry x

Party Games

2006-12-29T07:53:00.000-08:00

We are having a few friends around tonight who have got children = all over 10. Anyone got any ideas on any fun party games we can play. I seem to remember one that you dot each other's faces with ash but can't remember what its called or how you play it. Any suggestions very welcome.

Thanks.

Terry

Mummy's Memoirs - Part 10 - Diphtheria and Hitler

2006-12-28T09:55:00.000-08:00

In school I seemed to have no trouble. Everything went smoothly, I was happy.

One day we were told our school was to be redecorated. We would have to attend the boys school!

We were marched in long crocodile lines to the boys school. Some of the girls cried. I was frightened too. Boys! I’d rather do anything that have anything to do with boys.

But it was not too bad. We had our own classroom. We only saw the boys when we went in or out.

While we ere at the boys school I became ill. Could not drink the milk still so Mother would give me a medicine bottle filled with cocoa in the morning from our breakfast cocoa. At school I was allowed to place it on the radiators, so that by break time it was nice and hot.

I got my hot cocoa that morning but I could not drink it. I felt awful. Felt sick and tired. I started crying.

A teacher took me home.

I was put in bed and the doctor called. I had diphtheria. He gave me an injection and left the phial the medicine had been in for me to play with. I could not play with it, I was too ill.

I could not eat anything, my throat was too painful.

I was ill quite a long time.

Gise came to visit me to bring back my cocoa bottle.

Gise got diphtheria too.

After a while I got better. I was good at reading by then. I read my school books from cover to cover.

The flat was fumigated after I got up. I felt very important. All that fuss over me!

***

In school we had a big gymnasium, and in the evening I joined a club for athletics.

I loved it, I could do anything - we would do all sorts of contortions on the bars. To music we would drill.

After a time We became aware of the Hitler jungen.

They had a club. We had to pay a schilling a year. Theirs was free with refreshments, lemonade and sausage rolls. Also they were supplied with a uniform, brown shirt, black tie - caps - socks - all for nothing. They would be taken to Summer camp during the holidays. All for nothing.

The boys had all joined. They strutted around the yard in their uniform. We would make fun of tem. If we were caught by them they would punch us.

We hated the Hitler jungen, they were a lot of show offs, Hitler, Hitler, that’s all people talked about.

On the wireless it was the same. Everyone became aware something was going on.

***

Mother and father took me to Vienna to stay with a girl and her mother. This girl had stayed with us for three nights. She was an artist in the theatre. She was of Czechoslovakian origin and when she came to Berndorff with the Czech troupe to play in our theatre the Czech community put them up. My Mother being so friendly with the Czechs also wanted to have someone.

In Vienna it was lovely. We went to the Prater. The Zoo - it was in a beautiful park, the gardens laid out with flowering bushes.

[My goodness, Mum had a wonderful memory, this is what I found on the internet when I looked up Prater, Vienna.

Many people regard the Vienna Prater as just another fun-fair. But it´s much more than that: it´s a Viennese institution, like the coffee houses or the Heuriger (wine taverns). Its landmark, and one of Vienna´s too, is the 65 metre high Giant Ferris Wheel. It towers over the 200 booths in the Prater, the ghost train, go-karts and grotto railways, the merry-go-rounds and fruit-machine halls, throwing and shooting galleries.

The Prater has something to offer for the whole family: take a ride with the children on the fairy-tale railway, the children´s dodgems and the scenic railway. Plummet down the extra-long slides, laugh yourselves crooked, bent, fat or thin in the hall of mirrors, savour the romantic nostalgia of an old merry-go-round or the great variety on offer from the Prater caterers: from pickled gherkins to boiled beef.

The wonders of the heavens await you in the Planetarium. And in the Prater Museum you can re-live the greatest moments of this fun-fair. Incidentally: each booth in the Vienna Prater is an independent enterprise - which is why you don´t have to pay an admission charge to enter the Prater, and also why the various attractions in the Prater don´t have uniform opening times.

Opening times for most of the attractions in the Prater are from the beginning of March to the end of October - from morning to midnight. Some attractions (ghost trains and grotto railways, dodgems, cafes and restaurants) are open throughout the year. The Giant Ferris Wheel is open from February to November and around New Year´s. ]

Mother was mostly impressed about the layout of the table. First would be a large dinner plate and a soup plate on that. Soup would be served first, and the dinner plate was already warm to serve the dinner on. She copied that style for years.

In Vienna it was decided that I must have a new hat.

We went into this salon. I was shown quite a collection. Then I saw this beret with black spots on it.

It was the latest style, I looked so good. Then I realised the large polka dots were black. I could not possible wear black. Everyone would think I was a Hitler jungen. So they found one with brown spots. No! That was the Hitler jungen colour for their shirts. I made quite a fuss. I would found a green spotted one in the end.

But the young girl when she got out was very serious. She told me I should be very careful to let anyone know my opinions now. Those assistants could be Hitler jungen themselves and might report me and my whole family. People were taken to concentration camps. I didn’t care. I was loyal and true. I would rather die than wear a hat with Hitler’s colours. They did not seem very impressed with me. I don’t know even now to whom I was loyal. I think it must have been the club. They could keep their sausage rolls!

I didn’t know anything about Hitler, the people didn’t seem to like him and were frightened what would happen if he invaded Austria.

We knew no fears and at that time there was no mention that anything would happen to them.

But there was a stir, everyone listened to the wireless intently. Szubnik was killed and it seemed a great calamity. Who Szubnik was I did not know, but something dreadful was going to happen. [I can’t find anything when search for this name]

But life went on. We often went to the theatre. Richard Tauber was the great star of that time. Everyone was singing his songs. I think we went to see him in an operetta.

".......what is astonishing about Richard Tauber's art is exactly that it is by no means based on an outstanding, sumptuous natural vocal talent, but rather on the somnambulant sovereign usage of these vocal means,on a highly sensitive musicality, a hypnotic power of expression, and an infinitely inventive performance vision.........

........Richard Tauber was the greatest Mozart tenor of his time. Of his Don Ottavio on March 5th 1924 the critic of "Die Zeit" wrote "Tauber's performance reached its climax in Don Giovanni. It had never happened before that Don Ottavio, a figure who usually remains in the background, was received with such a storm of applause and that Don Giovanni himself should have been overshadowed." Of the same performance in "Die Deutsche Allgemeiner Zeitung":"He is the polished fine musician who not only knows his part, but the whole score,and creates from the complete ....... He sings the two arias incomparably; how he gives by the power of his cantilena at the end of the G major aria a soaring poised line to that baroque, octave leaping melody; how he fills the coloratura of the B flat major aria with dramatic life is quite unprecedented.".......
James Dennis, 1979]

***

A Russian troupe was on and we went to see them. I was fascinated by their dancing. The high leaps, and most of all I liked the dance where a dancer would crouch down and fling his legs out. I practised this dance for hours, holding myself between two chairs.

Soon I was able to do it without the chairs, I would do it anywhere - in the street, shops, in the street. Soon I became famous for my Russian dance. When I would go to the shop for my Mother I would be asked to perform. I would be given a handful of sweets, round chocolates with rum filled centres. Soon all the shops knew of my dancing and I was never short of sweets.

Hugs to all.

Terry

end of the year

2006-12-28T09:39:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. To me its all about the children enjoying themselves. I don't think they believe in Santa any more but they humour me along about the Christmas stockings, mince pie and sherry etc.

My sister, Chris, bought me some lovely pjs and matching slippers. I look the biz now with all my finery going to bed instead of some old jogging bottoms and a tshirt. Mmm, I think she hasn't admired my bedwear when we have been away together. She also got me some lovely leather gloves, which I have promised I'll try not to lose this time but I won't be wearing them to bed!

I feel pretty relaxed now, having had a few days off work and I am lucky enough not to be back until next Tuesday, eeeek that is creeping up a bit quickly for my liking. I am so relaxed I am almost horizontal, so must try to get back into my normal mode soon, e.g. waking up at a reasonable time and maybe getting dressed.

Today was a momentous day! We finally paid our mortgage off. Like many others, we were hit by endowment shortfall and had no-one to make a claim to because we bought through an independent adviser. My sister was lucky as she bought direct from her building society and so got lots back. Anyway, we were quite a bit short but the deed is done and it is a bit like Christmas, a bit of an anti-climax. I remember the excitement the day we bought the house and it doesn't seem 20 years ago, the pay off date seemed so far away. Beans on toast now for us for a few months.

We then went to my niece's place in Letchworth to give them their Christmas presents. Her baby is 18 months old and very cute. Matthew and Rosie are a very proud aunt and uncle. It was a pleasant afternoon, she had made us a little party and her boyfriend had made his own homemade pickled onions which nearly blew my head off!

My nephew, Martin, has accepted a new job in Leeds, he will be going in a week or so. We'll all miss him and I know its going to be a sad day for us all when he goes. After my sister died he went travelling and I felt that I was bereaved again. I hope I will be braver this time. At least we'll have a bit more room in the cottage ... I wonder if he'll take all his stuff?

He will be back with his girlfriend, Julia, any time now this evening. She is coming up for the next few days. He drove up to Stafford yesterday to spend a day with her and drive back here together but I think he has to go to work tomorrow. Its a blimming long drive, too far for me, I just couldn't stand all that motorway.

I hope that everyone had a good Christmas. I know that some other journallers have lost family members or have some that are very sick and my heart goes out to them.

Mum's memoirs will be posted on here ... I can't be bothered to have two journals on the go!

Hugs.

Terry

oooh I am so behind

2006-12-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

Well, I am so far behind in everything! I have loads of alerts to read and am slowly getting through.

Last week, we went to Pontins at Prestatyn for a long weekend. Rosie had won a heat at Pontins Hemsby when we went in the Summer reciting "The Albert and Lion" which she had learned from one of our old cds. She loves performing and was Joseph in her end of term play at primary.

Luckily my nephew, Martin, drove us to Prestatyn, I couldn't do that long drive .. it was bad enough going to Norfolk. It was cold, windy and wet on the drive down. The car was really crowded as Lisa, their older sister, was in the car as well (a small vw golf). Her boyfriend was unfortunate enough to have an ingrown hair on his bottom and had to have an op to remove it the week before and wasn't well enough to drive there. I knew it would make it really tight in Martin's car and wasn't keen on the children being so squashed but was worn down in the end by feeling guilty. She kept phoning me and texting me, saying she wouldn't ask anything else, couldn't I drive so there would be lots of room etc., etc. Hmmm. I was surprised she could leave her boyfriend as he was feeling so poorly but she was determined to come, so what could I do. She was good company though and we did have some good laughs with her.

We were also joined by Julia, Martin's girlfriend who lives in Stafford but she drove her own car down, so Lisa went with her (after 3 hours of squashing the kids).

Most of the kids were semi professional, all singing and all dancing. I found it all very interesting though. They had a few different age groups and Rosie was in the 11-14 group against 36 others. There were lots of disco dancers in very exotic costumes and make up and some very talented singers. I particularly liked one girl who sang "Where is Love" from Oliver. She sang without music and her voice was really fabulous. Her voice had maturity and had a wonderful tone. She got through to the final heat with 5 others from the 11-14 age group and was the eventual winner of the group and she deserved it. Rosie was disappointed not to get through to the grand final but was cheered up with her new wheelie roller skates, especially as there were lots of great places in Pontins for her to skate about on and get used to them.

We made a couple of trips into Rhyl. The sea is so dramatic in the winter and I enjoyed watching the waves crashing against the promenade. The weather was very windy and also freezing cold so no chance of a swim!

We found a lovely sheepskin rug for Paul which is twice the size of the one he presently has and he is really pleased with it. It took a bit of persuading on my part to get Martin to bring it home directly with us instead of Julia bringing it when she is coming down here next but I did win in the end! We also found a Liverpool football clock for my dear friend Audrey who lives over the road. Its got the words "You'll never walk alone" and we know that she and her husband will love it, I can't wait to see their faces at Christmas.

We were walking down a street in Rhyl and Matthew found a wallet. Luckily we found a police station just round the corner and although the wallet had no id on it, I hope the person who lost it thinks to check at the police station to see if it was handed in.

We got a taxi back to Pontins from Rhyl and I was chatting to the driver. We had thought we would give Martin and Julia a little together time as they don't see each other that regularly being so far apart.

We had noticed speed camera signs everywhere once we had got into Wales but saw no speed cameras, so I asked the taxi driver about them. Apparently they have these vans that go round, hiding round corners etc., and they take no prisoners. Well, no chance of me ever breaking the speed limit in Wales or anywhere, so I'll be safe, ha ha! As we got chatting she told me he worked closely with the local Police on the Stephen Lawrence project. I believe this was the young boy who was killed by bullies in South London a few years ago. This project is around for children who are a bit different than others and they get introduced to all people from different walks of life. Anyway, this taxi driver told me that she was involved because she was diverse. Then when I looked again, I realised she was a he dressed up as a she! She was very pleasant and we did have a nice chat. I told her about my gay friend and the time I had my working trip to Rio with him a few years ago (now, that is another story ..... and was very different to Pontins, oooh I still remember my hotel room overlooking Ipemema beach). We both agreed that you can't judge a book by its cover and that it takes all sorts to make the world go round.

Saturday evening was very pleasant. We watched x factor and then decided to have a sing song of our own. Even the love birds joined in with London's burning and it was very uplifting! We did a bit of frere jacque too but enjoyed London's burning the best.

On Sunday we were supposed to leave the apartment at 10 but as I was first up at 9.45 it simply didn't happen. We eventually started moving towards home (after everyone went swimming at the local leisure centre) at 3pm!!

We had a lovely time though and it was a nice experience except for the rubber covered mattress on my tiny single bed!

This week has been crazy, as I hadn't got hardly any presents sorted out and was feeling stressed. Tonight I wrote out a few cards for the chaps that work with Paul. I need desperately to do the cards for my family in Poland and get them sent off and must do it this weekend. I had the day off work today and went out alone and managed to get quite a few presents sorted out for the family and have about 5 to get now.

Tomorrow I am out all day on a coach trip to Thursford in Norfolk. I think its a Christmas market and a Christmas show. We leave at 9am and get back about 10pm. I booked it months ago and didn't how near it was to Christmas and having gone away last weekend too it has really cut my time down for getting things done. I am sure we'll all enjoy it though. We have loads of goodies to eat on the trip, including some rather nice Strawberry tarts!

Take care everyone.

Hugs.

Terry

Memories of our first visit to Poland

2006-12-02T14:57:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd write a bit more about our visit to Poland, the land of my mother and my father and indeed all my relatives. I have gained a family that I was not really aware of and have also developed a deeper sense of patriotism. My Polish has improved a bit too!

Our family could not have been more welcoming. Our cousin, Iza, met us at the airport in Warsaw. She was with her husband, Darek, and daughter, Klaudyna. We were all presented with roses to welcome us, even Peter. it was very touching. Also, I had forgotten the Polish custom of three kisses on greeting! My dad used to do it when meeting Polish friends. Polish men kiss each other when greeting each other. We really got into the swing of the kissing by the time our visit to Poland was over. I thoroughly enjoyed it, I must say. My brother said he had enjoyed it so much he would start kissing my husband, Paul, every time they met when we got home. When we had first contacted the Bialystok family to say we were coming, they insisted Cousin Iza would meet us at the airport to guide us to the train station. We thought we would just meet up and have a coffee.

My sister, Christine, got into Iza's little car whilst my brother Peter, Rosie and myself got into the car with Darek and Klaudyna and we left the airport and got our first sight of the city of Warsaw. It felt so strange to be in Poland. The city was not unlike the Paris streets. Little kiosks everywhere selling cigarettes, magazines etc. Quite wide roads. They also have a tram service, which was quite fascinating.

As we drove through to the outskirts of Warsaw, I was surprised when they told us we were not going to the railway station but they were taking us back to their house for a meal. We really did not expect that.

Whilst we were driving it was strange to see many blocks of flats with washing flapping in the wind. I don't remember seeing any normal houses. Just many, many, blocks of flats.

We arrived at my cousin's block of flats. It looked grim from the outside but when we went up the stairs and entered the flat, it was lovely and bright and modern and had quite large rooms. They had a wonderful balcony which looked out to woodland. In the living room was a table beautifully laid out, with lovely crystal glasses and the finest china. She hadmade us all our favourite Polish dishes,

My cousin and her family treated us like royalty. I have never felt so welcome anywhere in my life.

Heres a picture of the lovely Iza and her sweet husband Darek.

He is a baker and they both work very hard in their business. He leaves at 4 a.m. every day and doesn't get home until late. We had some of his beautiful cakes and by the time we had eaten all they wanted us to, we could hardly move.

It was such a shame my Polish was bad and I couldn't say too much to them both, but I do know how to say thank you. Luckily Chris remembered a lot of her Polish, I was so proud of her. Klaudyna, their daughter, was very fluent in English. I did manage to tell Klaudyna that she had very nice windows, when I meant that she had very nice eyes! Oche and ocne are very similar, thats all I'll say in my defence. That caused a real laugh and I don't think I'll live that down.

We had such a connection with them and made arrangements that we would meet up again on our way back after visiting Bialystok before going to the airport for our flight home.

One thing I should mention is that the Pope died just before our visit to Poland. We arrived in Warsaw the day before his funeral. Here's a picture of some of the lights we saw. This was taken in the old town of Warsaw. These lights were everywhere and it was quite eerie the night we arrived to see them all and everyone out in the streets standing around.

Well, after all this feasting and bonding, we were then taken to the railway station by our cousins and they did not leave us until we were safely on the train to Bialystok!

Our next adventure was about to begin.

Here's Chris with Cioca (auntie) Lila and Cousin Lila at our second feast of the day. Doesn't my sister look like my cousin!

More to come on our visit to Bialystok.

Hope you enjoyed this entry.

Hugs.

Terry x

My Dad

2006-11-26T16:07:00.000-08:00

Well here I am again, trying to post this but keep crashing. I thought I'd let you all see a picture of my Daddy and his family. We were sent this by my cousin, Lila, just before we made our journey and were thrilled to get it as we had never seen it before. My granny (babcia) is on the left. Then Jadja (Jadwiga) is next to her with baby, Halina, on her lap. Then there is little Arcadeuz and then my Daddy! Auntie Lila had not yet been born.

Jadwiga was a full sister to my Dad. She died whilst my Dad was still alive, I know he was very sad that he had never seen her again after he left Poland with the Polish Air Force. I was both amazed and touched when I visited my Cousin Lila, her daughter, that she had letters that my father had written her and that she still treasured them.

Its sad really but I don't remember my Dad telling us much about the family in Poland. He died when I was 17, which was very shocking.

He used to love to play chess. He even played chess against others on the telephone. We'd lie in bed upstairs and it would be all quiet and then you'd hear a voice saying "Rook to Pawn 2" or something like that. He even played chess on the day he died. He was up London, playing at the Polish YMCA in a league when he collapsed with a heart attack. He was taken to St Mary's in Paddington but before we got there, he had gone. It was such a terrible shock to us all and we were devasted. I remember the night so well. Paul wasn't well and I had just started going out with him, so I had gone to his parents house and we were watching the Eurovision Song Contest. The phone went and it was my ex brother in law telling us that Daddy had taken ill. We lived in Edmonton at the time, so I dashed home and then caught a cab up to London with my ex brother in law. As soon as I walked through the doors of the hospital I saw my brother, Peter. He was only 13 and he walked towards me and I knew. We came home by cab and my sister, Barb and I climbed into bed with mummy. Mummy wouldn't call our sisters, Andrea and Christine. She said we'll wait until the morning, let them have a good night's sleep.

Its been 34 years but I still miss my Daddy.

Hugs. Terry

Poland

2006-11-18T05:55:00.000-08:00

Ohhh I did lots of explanations about this... and just lost it. Hopefully, this time I'll get it posted.

Last year, for the first time, my sister Christine, Rosie and my brother Peter all visited Poland for the very first time. As you know, I have Polish parents who are both dead. My dad, Joseph, otherwise known as Zuik, died in 1972, aged 61. Daddy met Mummy during the war and never went back to Poland. His mother came over in 1957 but didn't get on with my Mum, so never came again.

There are a few little strange things about daddy, like his real name, which he never told us about. I don't know the reason. It was very strange being given his old Scout certificates with this name that we had never really known him by. We can't understand the reason for the secrecy. My mum only told me about it a few years before she died. This was another thing she didn't share with my sisters or brother. I told them after she had died. Why all these secrets?? Even after our visit to Poland we couldn't seem to get to the bottom of it.

It was absolutely wonderful meeting our Polish relatives. His sister lives in Bialystok, very near to the train station, and she was the main one we were going to visit as she had always written to us, despite hardly ever getting a reply from me. My Polish is very bad although Christine can speak quite a bit, I suppose when she was younger it was spoken in the home but as we came along, mainly English was used. Words can't really describe the feelings we had as we finally made this trip to Poland. Why hadn't we been before? I think mainly due to lack of money.

I will write more about this. In the meantime though, now I have got the hang of this posting pictures malarky, I am posting on a picture of my Auntie Lila and her wonderful picture that hangs in her hallway. Let me know what you think of this painting. I found it absolutely fascinating.

One more thing. When we visited the cemetary to see my grandmother's grave, Auntie Lila took us to see her husband's grave. We were shocked to see her name already enscribed on it. She explained that all that needed doing was putting on the date of her death ..... eeeeeeek! We tried to explain about Scrooge and him seeing his gravestone ... it was all a bit lost in translation.

Now to get on a bit and stop messing about on here!!

Catch you later.

Terry x

Putting pictures on

2006-11-18T03:58:00.000-08:00

Oh gawd! I know I only did this a couple of weeks ago and in the end managed to do it with photobucket but I have completely forgotten how to do it and can't do it .... argh.

So, please can someone give me the idiot's guide on how to make pictures appear! Its got to be simple, I seem to have a mental block on this.

Rosie has discovered my old keyboard this morning. I got it years ago and taught myself to play a few tunes and learned a few cords. I only got as far as book 1 before I lost interest. I never seemed to get my rhythmn right! She is now making a god awful noise and is driving her older brother, Martin, mad. Paul has disappeared off to work, he got fed up too.

She got ok at the hospital yesterday. The tooth they were concerned about is laying across the bottom of her gum and not in a position to come out of it! They think her baby tooth is strong enough and so we will leave best alone because if they do operate to try to get it out, it is near the nerve that could cause paralysis of her lip. Now, we will have to start the brace procedure off for her twisted front tooth. As you know, the NHS stopped funding for any braces except for very extreme cases, so we will have to find a lot of money for this. It will be worth it though. I think we can pay monthly for it.

Matthew went off to camp last night. It was pouring with rain all day and he is camping! I have sent him off with lots of clothes to change into and loads of waterproofs. The good thing is that the sun is shining here today, so hopefully the kit won't come back too muddy (hmm, I bet it does anyway). He has gone to a place called Phasels Wood. Here is the link. http://www.phaselswood.org.uk/ I bet he'll be having a wonderful time and come home exhausted tomorrow.

Martin has been offered a job in Leeds. Oh, we are going to miss him if he goes. I am trying not to be selfish and not think of good reasons to be negative about it. He went travelling 3 years ago and came home after 4 months as he missed us all so much, so I hope he decides not to take it and look for a better job round here. His work are considering whether to make him a better offer, so watch this space.

Anyway, off to do a few jobs.

Take care everyone.

Terry x

Mummy's Memoirs

2006-11-17T01:55:00.000-08:00

I have made a decision. Sounds like x factor! I am going to create a new journal to put the rest of Mum's memoirs in. She deserves her own space in journal land. I'll be doing this soon and will let you know the link. This week my sister, Chris, found some more of mum's writings which I will have to type up too, ooh nothing like keeping busy.

Off to the hospital now for Rosie's teeth!

Catch you later.

Terry

Schooldays

2006-11-16T14:45:00.000-08:00

Tonight we made our way with trepidation to Rosie's school for her first open evening.

We had a heck of a job getting Rosie into the school of her dreams. Much was made in the October of going round all the secondary schools in our area on their open evenings and listening to their virtues etc. We let Rosie choose the school she would like to go to on the premise that if she did get the school she wanted to go to, she would work hard there.

It was terrible in March this year when we heard that Rosie had not got the school of her choice and we had to tell her. It was even worse when she went to school the next day and found she was the only one in her class of 30 pupils that didn't get her first choice. In fact, she was allocated her third choice which was a school outside our area which we only put down because we didn't think she would ever get placed at it. Poor Rosie was so upset, she came out in a rash all over her body, she really felt the odd one out at school because everyone else was so happy they had got the school place they had wanted. It was a very difficult time.

It took a couple of months, preparing appeal submissions and going on a waiting list before we found out that she had managed to achieve her place. Hooray. Her older brother and I hid up the new school with a poster saying Congratulations and Paul drove her up and we jumped out and surprised her. That was a lovely evening after the disappointment and tears a few months earlier,

I am pleased to say that she is doing great in everything except French, where she seems to have une major bloc!!! The French teacher told me that she thinks perhaps Rosie may not be linguistic ... hmm I disagree big time and told her about the couple of trips we have made to Poland where Rosie has picked up a lot of the language very quickly. Maybe I will take Rosie to Paris and that may awaken her interest in learing to speak the language of love. The French teacher was very nice, she seemed concerned that Rosie may not like her. Rosie just doesn't like French!

I don't consider myself as a pushy parent but really would like Rosie to do well. She came out of primary school with 5s in maths and science and a 4 in English. The maths and science results were a surprise to us and to her, so she has got ability there which I hope she will use. Paul thinks I am pushy but I really do try not to be.

Rosie was at home really worrying ... we arrived home with Chinese and donuts to celebrate her efforts.

Matthew is getting ready for another scout weekend, leaving tomorrow for an adventure centre. I have unpicked and sewn all the blimming badges (15 of them) onto his new shirt this week. I have gone out today and got yet more gloves (apparently his old ones were thrown on the fire by "Sam" last week). Tomorrow I will go and get a few chocolate goodies for him to take, he loves chocolate fingers! We have the kit all over the room but will pack it up tomorrow when he gets back from school.

One of his front teeth is still longer than the other, guess who got the appointment wrong! He will be having it done next week. He came home today with a photo taken last week at school still a la braces (still speaking French here after my meeting with the French teacher tonight), it will be nice to see next year to compare the smile and the teeth looking perfect!

Off now. Take care.

Terry

Nice weekend/Dentists

2006-11-12T03:56:00.000-08:00

Matthew had his brace off on Friday!!! After 3 years it is nice to see his teeth again. A couple of years ago, he chipped his front tooth and the repair held until about a week or so, when it broke off. The repair had to wait until the brace was off, so Paul took him to the dentist to get the repair done after the brace was off, first thing on Friday. I was shocked to see that the repair has been done but the tooth looks shorter than his other tooth - can you believe it! I went crazy. I just can't believe the dentist could be so lazy. Anyway, he is going back on Wednesday and he will have matching front teeth if it kills me!

Rosie is going to the hospital on Friday because she has a tooth growing at an angle through her bottom gum. I hope they can do something for her without an op. It is not causing her any probs at the moment. I only found out about it when we took her about her brace for her twisted front tooth (which they refused her for under their new guidelines and which will cost us £1300 to have done). Its ridiculous that she would have to walk around with this twisted tooth for the rest of her life due to their cut backs and new guidelines. Apparently, they only see kids once a year now for dental check ups instead of every 6 months.

We have had a nice relaxing weekend. Matthew went off to scouts yesterday and they had a day in London, visiting the London Dungeons and HM Belfast. They camped out last night and we have to pick him up soon after the Remembrance service.

Rosie and I met up with an old friend of mine, Laura and her son Brad, who is about the same age as Rosie.

I met Laura years ago in Greece down a long road in the middle of nowhere, looking for a hotel where we had our welcome meeting. She was only young then, about 19 and was with her friend Jackie. We were in our 30s. Anyway, we got chatting and I remembered seeing her and her friend on the plane. We arranged to meet up for an evening and it was the start of a long friendship with Laura. She was telling us the first time we met her that she wasn't interested in a holiday romance but by the end of the holiday she had met a chap from oop North and could hardly bear it when he left a couple of days before her. It was quite exciting and romantic. He met her at Gatwick and off they went for more loving at a hotel near her home. By the time the following week came she upped sticks and left to go back up North with him. He was a bit older than her but really seemed a nice man. Ahh, it would be lovely if they were still together wouldn't it but it all went wrong after about a year and he decided he didn't want to go on with it. She came home broken hearted and then met Steve, who is great and has settled down with him and had Brad. Shes a great girl, a great laugh and if you heard her laugh you'd be on the floor, its really infectious.

Anyway, we went off shopping to Welwyn, Laura drove, she is a better parker than I am in tight spaces! I got Matthew a new scout shirt from John Lewis, poor Matthew is still wearing his old one from when he was 10 and it is getting very short on the arms now. I now have to sew all the blimming badges on this new one from the old one - ooooh. Rosie had a couple of pairs of earring studs from Argos because she is always losing them and because she got a fairly good report from her new school she had some money to spend. She decided to buy the latest Jacqueline Wilson book. She loves her books. We saw Jacqueline Wilson at an evening at our local theatre. She had so many big silver rings on all of her fingers and so many bracelets it was a wonder she could lift her arms up when she spoke. A very eccentric looking lady.

So, we got home at about 5ish and settled down for a lovely evening in front of the telly. Xfactor is our favourite but we have to fight Paul for control of the telly, so we can watch it. We always hope he'll drop off to sleep and if he does then we creep across grab the tv plodder and make merry with it!

We have all been lazy this morning. I got up at about 7 and dropped off again on the sofa, bliss! We have all just had our toastie things, me and Rosie had spag hoops with toast and Paul was a more sedate cheese on toast. I love Sundays!!! Better get dressed now though and get on with getting things ready for the week.

Catch you later.

Terry x

Part 9 - Mummy's Memoirs

2006-11-11T01:33:00.000-08:00

Part 9 - two chapters today! Hope you enjoy. Mother wrote the little titles ...

One day I went out into the yard, it was a beautiful day.

I looked across the yard and saw the woman who lived in the house opposite putting big plates of pies on the window. They were open pies with lovely purple coloured berries in them. I went over and asked her what they were. Through the open window she told me they were mulberries. I rushed back home. Mother had to make a mulberry pie. They looked and smelled wonderful. Mother would not make mulberry pies, she did not believe in it. In Poland no-one ever ate mulberries, terrible idea.

So I went back to the open window with the pies cooling on the ledge. I got talking to the lady. Told her how lovely they looked. What a wonderful cook she was. My mother was too ill to make any I told her. If I had a pie like that I would lick the plate so clean it would not even need washing.

So she gave me a small one on a saucer. I thought she was rather mean, she had so many big ones on dinner plates.

But something was better than nothing.

The first taste tasted a little sour with a bitter taste to it. That was because I was not used to it. It would soon taste as good as it looked. But it didn’t! It tasted worse. But I could not let the lady down. I told her I’d never tasted anything so good.

After eating half of it I thought I’d be sick. When she turned her back, I put the saucer with the half eaten pie back on the window and ran.

I avoided her like the plague after that. I thought she’d do something dreadful to me for not eating it and she had to was the plate after all!

The Great Seduction

One day Mother sent me to that house to tell a woman upstairs she wanted to see her about something.

The woman said would I stay with her little boy who was about 4 years old while she went across. I readily agreed. The boy had lots of toys all over the floor and I was eager to play with them.

S soon as the woman was out of the house, the boy said we must play mothers and fathers. I said ok, he’d be father and I’d be mother. H e said we must undress like mothers and fathers do and get into bed naked. I had on a maroon coloured woollen dress. It pricked me all over. I would have gladly taken it off but I was scared. I remembered the other boy and I could not bear it. He started to take off his clothes. I went to the door but it would not open! We had been locked in!

I tried to stop him taking off his clothes - I didn’t want to play mothers and fathers. But he took no notice of me. He took off every stitch.

I covered my face with my hands not to see him.

I took a look and he was showing me his horrible thing. Then the door opened and his mother came in! She took one look - and went mad - he said I had asked him to take off his clothes. I ran out.

I went for a long walk trying to forget the horror of it all.

When I came back home, Mother pounced! What had I been up to? Hold could I? I cried and cried and for once she somehow believed me. It took a long time for me to get over it and I would not go to that side of the block for anything.

Have a nice Saturday.

Terry x

the drunken secretary

2006-11-07T14:29:00.000-08:00

Well, heres an update on the drunken secretary.

God, I must have sounded really bitchy in my entry about her but I must be honest, I couldn't wait to get into work on Monday to see what would be occurring!

So, I mosied in on time at 9.15 and she was already there sitting at her desk. As soon as the rest of my little group were in she approached us. We were shocked to the core when she apologised to us all for letting us down and just kept saying, sorry, sorry. Despite her previous horrid ways, I felt sorry for her. It took her a lot to do that I know, especially in view of her previous behaviour to some of the girls in my group. She obviously had had a terrible weekend, worrying about what would happen because it is a sackable offence. Shes lucky really that we are all nicer than she is because none of us would split on her to the group manager, who was away on Friday. I still can't believe she was so stupid to do that. I think she has smoothed it over with her boss too but has ruined her credibility.

Today was lovely. My boss had a broken engagement last year. It was very sudden just a few months before she was due to get married. It was really out of the blue but consequently she found out that there were a lot of issues going on with him and he did her the biggest favour. We were all so upset with her at the time because it was such a shock the way it ended. Anyway, she went on a dating website, one of those where your friends write your profile for you and she has found the loveliest of chaps. I think he was the only one she ever met up with. Today 6 red balloons saying "I love you" and a wonderful bouquet of flowers arrived for her, marking their 6 month anniversary. Ahhh. I had to go to reception to collect them because she was out when they arrived. I must say I felt pretty damm special carrying the "I love you" balloons and flowers back downstairs, people in the lift that didn't know me, giving me curious looks that I was so loved carrying all this booty. I told those that knew me that I had a secret admirer, so I enjoyed the moment too. I am hoping that her new chap will propose soon! It all looks very promising. She is the nicest of persons and I really like her.

Just to let you know that Billy is doing well. He went back to the Vet today and they sayto call on Friday to let them know how he is doing. I felt a right twerp phoning them yesterday, as they had asked us to do last week as the receptionist didn't seem that interested and didn't appear to be making notes. Perhaps I should make it more interesting when I call on Friday. He is still doing little snuffles but nothing as bad as this time last week.

Catch you later.

Terry x

Our week

2006-11-04T02:58:00.000-08:00

Well this has been a funny week, ups and down because of Billy not being well but enjoyable times, such as when we went out trick and treating. Work has been absolutely manic and there are never enough hours in the day to get everything done. We don't get any temp cover when one of us is away and it causes a lot more work for the rest of us, argh.

Yesterday a girl I really don't like came back to the office as drunk as a lord. It was nice to see her like that, tee hee!! What a bitch I am. She is not a very nice person and has really been very nasty about some people I work with directly to their bosses, most of her comments were untrue and made just because she has a nasty nature. You say good morning to her and she just scowls back, what a waste of time, eh? Some of the others have said how nice she is outside the office ... hello???? So .... I wonder what will happen on Monday. She went to lunch at 1 and didn't come back until about 5! It was someone's 50th and she and another girl just went and didn't come back. We were so manic I didn't notice until her boss started carrying on and made one of the other girls call her to get back to the office. Couldn't have happened to a better person.

Today I must go and get Matthew's hair cut as he looks like a yeti. He has a few nice things coming up with Scouts. They are off to London next week to the London Dungeons and a camp out that night before the Remembrance Parade on Sunday. He normally comes home very grouchy after these camp outs because the other boys don't let him sleep and once he decides he has to sleep he hates being disturbed. Mind you, he still goes because he likes all the other things they do. Then the following weekend he is off to an adventure camp with them. Today I must go and get a head torch for him .... one more thing to lose, eh!

I have booked up to go to the Joseph and his Amazing Dream Coat singalong in Leicester Square on the 19th. The tickets include a dinner afterwards at Ruby Blue, a restaurant nearby. Rosie played Joseph in her last school play, so this is something she'll really enjoy. We have done the Sound of Music singalong before and really enjoyed that. I dressed the kids up, Rosie was a nun and Matthew was a brown paper package wrapped up in string. They both won prizes and looked really sweet. Don't know if I'd be able to get Matthew to dress up now he is 13.

Off to get some coffee into my system!

Terry x

Mummy's Memoirs, Part 8

2006-11-04T02:47:00.000-08:00

Heres Part 8, enjoy.

The Reluctant Bather

One day it was very cold, I came home from school and Mother was not at home. I was quite pleased, I mooched around. Then I thought I will wash the floor for her. She’d be so thrilled.

The floors were bare boards. Continuously scrubbed so they were very white. I got the bucket and water, scrubbing brush, soap and water.

It was nice splashing the water on the floor and scrubbing, pressing the brush into the soap and scrubbing. After a while I got tired of it. I hadn’t finished the room but even then Mother should be pleased that I had helped her.

But Mother did not come. I went around to her friends. No Mother, where was she So I walked into the town looking for her. On the way home I passed the outdoor swimming pool.

She was nowhere else, she must be in there.

So I went to the cash desk and asked had they seen Mrs Robak? They didn’t know Mrs Robak but they would call her. I heard a loud tinny voice repeating over and over again “Mrs Robak please come to the cash desk”. Mother did not come. She must be dead. I had searched everywhere.

I returned home and thee was Mother as mad at me as ever. My floor washing job was the cause. I had put so much water on the floor it had run through the ceiling into the flat below. I was sorry and miserable and cried.

Mother was even crosser when she found out that she had been called over the tannoy in the swimming baths. The shame of it. People would stop and ask her if we had any trouble, to be summonsed over the loud speaker in the swimming baths, was someone ill? Accident?

All the nasty busybodies could keep nothing to themselves. I thought.

After all, she might have just been there. Been drowned and no-one would have known if I had not gone there. But she was not to be convinced. If she was out when I came home, I must stay home quietly. Not announce to the whole town she was not there to look after me. What were people thinking of her?

She was a respectable woman. The whole town knew she had been summonsed in the swimming baths. She would never live down the disgrace etc., etc. I could not understand it. You’d think she’d been out and got drunk. The scarlet woman of Berndorff, Mother! No fun in her. She didn’t even know how to swim.

I told her how frightened I had been that I had not been able to find her.That pacified her and she took a ball out of her bag. She had been to Winer neustadt to hospital for an examination. They had told he she had a slipped intestine, that’s why she was always constipated.

The Dentist

In school one day there was great excitement, the dentist was coming around to see our teeth. We were lined up in the corridor along the large windows in a row. The dentist came along inspecting the children’s teeth. When he reached me I was told to open my mouth wide, then he said “Look at that bird”, I looked - he put his pliers into my mouth and pulled out a tooth! How could I have been fooled like that!

One day I had been tormenting my Mother to let me out on the sledge but she would not let me go.

Father came home from work and announced he was going to the dentist. At once I had a toothache! I must go too.

So we got dressed, and on the sledge we went to the dentist.

When we reached the dentist’s house I got quite frightened.

I climbed the cement steps slowly. Outside the front door there was a scraper for shoes. I scraped and scraped mine until Father got impatient, so I had to go in with him.

The smell in the house was awful! I started to panic, I did not have a toothache anymore. But Father said the dentist must look at it and it would be better to have it out.

We sat down. I was feeling sick! We sat there - I wanted to go to the toilet. Father asked the receptionist where it was and I crept out of the waiting room, straight through the front door and only stopping to collect my sledge - I was off. I went through the town and into the hills.

I stayed there as long as I could. My feet were soaking with the snow coming over my Wellingtons.

When I arrived home I had to bend over the chair again.

I was whacked until I promised I would never do it again.

Father had been so ashamed - waiting for me to come back from the toilet and then to find I had run away. The dentist had been so shocked to think Father possessed such a naughty child. Father would never be able to, through him embarrassment, have his teeth seen to because of me.

Of course I had to some more chair bending.

I always used to be in trouble with them. About that time my mania for washing myself started.

I noticed one day after they forced me to wash myself how good I looked after the wash.

I was so impressed at the improvement of myself “before and after”! The mirror hung on the wall just above the stool where the wash basin was, so I was able to observe myself. I repeated the experiment. It worked.

When I used to be out to play I’d go straight to the mirror. I looked awful. Sometimes I didn’t even recognise myself. This hideous looking thing, me! I’d get the water in the bowl and wash furiously and coming out of the towel I’d look at the effect - it was me - all clean. It was amazing the difference it made “before and after”. When I was clean everyone would be so nice to me. If I came home all puffed out with running, Mother would be all nasty and sneering. I’d look in the mirror, no wonder. My face was black, sweat running in streaks down my forehead.

After a magical wash I’d let mother catch a glimpse of the beautiful vision that had been submerged under the dirt and she seemed to soften, be nice to me = so I had found the secret of my success until Mother realised that after a wash I looked better than her.

When visiting with Mother, as soon as I’d get in the house I’d realised people weren’t talking to me, just talking with Mother or if Father was there - Father.

Of course I knew what the trouble was - I was dirty. So I’d go up to mother trying to tell her I must go and wash She wouldn’t take any notice, just kept on talking - talking and talking!!

I’d touch her on her hand, trying to get her to notice I was trying to talk to her, the more I pressed the more bangs I’d get. I knew that she knew that I was there, her eye was watching me from the corner but she would still pretend I was invisible. But of course the people we were visiting would eventually become aware that mother wasn’t quite with them with all the knocks she was giving me. So they would try to find out what I wanted. Being very shy and modest it took some time for me to confess that I must have a wash.

Mother’s face would turn terrible. She’d give me one of her most searing looks. “You wash when we get home” and the more she’d try to stop me, the more the hosts would insist on granting me my wish.

I’d wash, the ice would be broken. Everyone would agree what an angel I was. No other child ever wanted a wash. I was petted and praised by everyone except Mother, who would pretend she was impressed too - but giving me all the time those hard flinty, glittering looks I knew so well, already anticipating what to expect as soon as we were out of the house. She wouldn’t forget either . I’d try to forget all about it, hoping if I put it out of my mind she was bound to forget. No matter how long we stayed, how happy she seemed with the people, it all came back to her the moment we were left in each other’s company.

I’d be forewarned what would happen when we’d go visiting I was to keep quiet. No washing! If I was asked to take something twice - cakes etc., I must refuse. People must not think that just because I was as skinny as a scarecrow that I was not fed. One cake only and no washing. People would think we had nowhere to wash or too poor to buy soap. But of course the moment we were in I’d feel dirty and of course things would take their natural course as always with me. Washing - eating more than one cake - bends over the chair when we got in.

I’d cry myself to sleep, dying to get up to wash in case someone saw me with all the tearstains on my face. The house might burn down and I’d be found dirty.

Mum always loved washing and looking nice, she was never without her lipstick and powder. I still have her last make up bag with all her bits in it.

Terry

Billy and good news

2006-11-02T12:19:00.000-08:00

My boy is home. He is still a bit snuffly but is sooooo much better. He has lots of medication for his nose infection but they have found nothing wrong with his chest. I have been busy cuddling him and he is glad to be home. He is not back to his naughty self yet but hopefully will be soon. I have put on a picture of him, he is old but bold. He'll be 10 soon and is a bit blind but still can see enough to get into lots of mischief when he is ok.

Thanks so much for all the comforting messages.

Terry

Billy

2006-11-01T12:49:00.000-08:00

I had to be at work today so I made an appointment for Billy for this afternoon but Paul took him earlier as his breathing was worse. They have done some chest xrays which are clear but he has a bad infection in his nose which they say they have never as bad before. It could be linked to his prostrate and they are doing more tests tomorrow. Meanwhile his white cells are high. They have kept him in overnight and I am in tears! Thanks for all your kind words, I'll keep in touch.

Terry x

My dog, Billy

2006-10-31T23:10:00.000-08:00

My little yorkie has a runny nose and is sneezing and snuffling. He sometimes makes little snorting noises anyway but this time he seems like he has a full on cold, I am so worried. It started Monday but seemed a lot worse when I got home from work last night. Paul is taking him to the vet for me as I have to go to work today. He is walking about ok and going out as normal and doing his business and eating his favourite treats. Please keep your fingers crossed this is nothing too serious as he is 10 years old and my baby.

Terry x

Mummy's Memoirs Part 7

2006-10-27T13:58:00.000-07:00

Here is Part 7, I hope you enjoy the read.

Grapes were grown all round Berndorff. At the end of summer the grapes would be harvested. In each village they would have a wine feast on different Sundays.

People would go to the selected village and there would be a fair and a market. The beer houses would be in full swing.

I loved the lottery best of all. It was like bingo. In the fair field a large platform was raised and above a large board with numbers coming up. Father would buy me a ticket for about sixpence. I had tremendous luck. I won little prizes but I also won for my father a bicycle, a sack of flour and a large ham.

But one rainy Sunday I got into trouble.

I had been down to the station. It was a new place to explore. Hunting around looking for anything worth finding I cam across a pair of clippers. Clippers for punching holes in tickets. I took them home, secretly using them only when Mother was not there. I knew she would not let me keep them. So I hid them from her.

When the weather was bad they liked going to bed on a Sunday afternoon. I did not want to waste my time going to bed. So I mooched around until I remembered my clippers.

I got them out and found quite a lot of things to make holes in but the trouble was I had to pick up the little rounds of paper that the clippers ejected.

So I left the apartment - I could not go out it was raining hard. I looked through the hall window hoping someone was out and as I did not mind the rain I would go and play with them. But there was no-one around.

All I could see were rows of potted plants people had put in the yard to catch the rain. I got a nice big leaf and pressed my clippers. It was even nicer to punch crisp leaves than paper. I thought the people would be quite pleased to find holes in a pattern on the leaves. They looked very unusual. They’d say, who made our flowers so pretty.

So I punched on to make everyone happy. Then I realised I was getting too wet. I would have to abandon my task, although there were still a lot of the plants left undone but if they found me wet there would be trouble.

Not long after I’d crept home and dried myself a knock came to the door. I opened it and there stood a group of women all looking cross. They wanted to see my mother. So I called Mother but Mother not speaking German got father out of bed too. The women were very nasty. I had been seen doing something to the flowers. I confessed under the duress of Mother’s shrieking and beating.

Father promised full restoration. So they got dressed and we trudged to the nursery and father bought similar flowers to the ones I had damaged. Mother took the damaged flowers and gave the owners the new flowers. One of the plants lived for about 20 years. My clippers were confiscated.

Mother was even nastier to me than usual. She would find fault with me the whole time. Once walking along a road I made her angry about something, so I ran away from her, she chased me. Across the road there was a barrier down across a railway line. It was two poles held together with lengths of ropes.

I climbed the barrier, the train having passed the barrier shot up and I was lifted with it high in the air.

Mother went wild. “Come down you little so and so”. I would not come down. After more threats and shrieking I promised to come down if she would not smack me. So she gave way, she would not smack me if I got down.

As soon as I reached the ground she pounced on me, slapping me all over. I got away from her, crying I shrieked I would take a knife to bed with me and kill myself with it.

Worse was still to come. When father came home he was told all about it. I had to bend over the chair, he took off his leather belt and gave me a stinging whack!

“Are you going to take the knife to bed with you and kill yourself?”.

“Yes, yes” and for every “yes” I got another one.

In the end I had to give in. I would not take the knife to bed with me.

“That’s what they think, I’ll show them”. I would take it this very night. They’d be sorry to find me all covered in blood and dead. Then they’d know it was all their fault.

But they watched me. I couldn’t get hold of a knife.

Now thinking about it, I can’t imagine why I had to it in bed, or anywhere else. I suppose doing it in bed was more dramatic.

Still things would go wrong. Mother once sent me to the butchers for beef. I looked at the counter and saw some beautiful red meat. When I gave the assistant my order she picked up some darkish nasty looking stuff. “No” I did not want that meat. I wanted the lovely red meat. So she weighed it up for me and I took it thinking how pleased Mother would be. What a clever shopper I was.

Mother opened the packet, looked at it and said “What’s this, this isn’t beef, this is horse flesh, take it backand get me beef. I can’t eat horseflesh. Horseflesh is only for the gypsies”. She packed it up shouting her head off. I tried to explain how lovely it was. It must be good. Better than the brownish stuff. She should try it, she would find out how lovely it was.

But she was adamant! Back it must go. I walked back to the butchers slowly. I was too scared to tae it back. Supposing they wouldn’t take it!

In the end I crept back to the shop, so humiliated I could hardly talk. The assistant didn’t seem surprised and to my relief she changed it without a word - whereas I had expected her to attack me too as Mother had done.

At school we were taken swimming into the open air swimming pool. I loved it. I found out you could go anytime but you had to pay. It was very difficult to get money out of Mother! Swimming - swimming what do you need swimming for? I have never been swimming and I am still alive. I had a money box, so I would put the knife in and rattle it and the money would slide down the knife and into my hand. Off I’d be. I couldn’t yet swim, so I would walk around the shallow end lowering myself in the water and pretend I was swimming. People would be walking around too. The latest style in swimming costumes was just one strap on the shoulder, the other would be left off hanging loose. I wore my strap down too - being very modern, wearing the latest fashion.

Then one day when my money box unbeknown to my parents was nearly empty, I was standing in the queue at the turnstile and I heard a boy say “I am with the school” and he was let in without paying. From that time on I was always “with the school”.

The money box raid was discovered. I did my bending over the chair but I had found a way to carry on with my swimming.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Terry x

A poem for my friend/Dentist

2006-10-25T15:43:00.000-07:00

I have told you before about my dear friend Mary and how much I miss her. A little while after she died I found this poem and it still sums up how I feel about her. I found the scrap of paper I wrote it on tonight, I don't know who wrote it but I like it, so I thought I'd share it.

Once in a while you find a friend whos your friend right from the start

Once in a while the friendship's so strong it really warms your heart

Once in a while that friendship lasts your whole lifetime through

It only happens once in a while. Like it happened with me and you.

I am lucky that I have other good friends but she has left a big gap.

Anyway, onwards and upwards to more cheerful things. I am off to another wedding this weekend. Its a lovely girl I work with who is getting married in Surrey.

Paul will stay home to look after Matthew and Rosie and I will be going on this adventure alone! We have decided to book into a hotel for the night of the wedding, so I will get myself up early on Saturday to drive there. The AA routemaster says it should take 1 hour and 20 mins, I think I will double that. I always get lost and don't drive very quickly - I am a real weekend driver. East Grinstead 'ere I come!

The wedding is being held at a big country house hotel and I am sure we are going to have a great time. No, I am not staying there as it is £175 a night to do that. I am in the cheapie up the road. There are a few others from work going, so I am sure we will have a great time together.

We are being very dental in this house at the moment. Matthew is due to have his braces off next week, with a follow up the week after. He has worn them for 3 years now and its very excited. He had very goofy teeth before and also a few too many of them, so has gone through quite a bit of pain and discomfort over the years sorting them out. He has really been brave throughout it. Anyway, he has come home today from Kidsclub having broken one of his front teeth - eeek! This particular tooth is an old favorite, having now been capped three times since he dove into a swimming pool with his mouth open! I know it can be fixed (although the first time I was really worried). We are so near having lovely teeth for him and now this. I hope I can get an appointment for him before he gets his braces off, so at least he will have a completely wonderful smile.

I am girding my loins to do battle with the local dentist tomorrow and to beg them to fix Matthew's tooth quickly and on a convenient day for me!! Wish me luck. They do normally see children quickly but they too have all these new rules - they don't see children every 6 months, now its only once a year.

Still on about teeth (yawn). Apparently Rosie has a tooth growing at a funny angle out of her bottom jaw, which has only been noticed on xrays recently when we went for her appointment to be assessed for a brace. I was told that she did not qualify for a brace for her twisted top front tooth and so we must pay £1300 to sort it out! Apparently I can set up a standing order, how nice. I wonder why I go to work and pay all these contributions. Anyway, I have been waiting for an appointment at the hospital for her about this funny angled tooth. In July, I got a lovely letter from the Health Authority asking me to choose which hospital I wanted to use, then I waited 2 months before I got a letter to phone up to sort out an appoinemtn, and now I have been told that I had no choice at all and I have to take her miles away to the only clinic for it to a far off hospital! Its crazy, why not just give me an appointment there in the first place and not waste my time pondering as to which was the best hospital for her, filling in the papers and sending them back? Is it a mad system or what?

PS: still on the dental front, guess which coward is going on 4th November after a 5 year absence and is only being forced there because her teeth keep playing up?

Catch you later.

Terry

Part 6 -Mummy's Memoirs

2006-10-21T15:23:00.000-07:00

I was very busy earlier today, typing up Mum's Memoirs. It is really fascinating doing it and I am so pleased that she wrote them, they are a wonderful legacy for her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Mum would be 81 now if she had survived. It was so sad and shocking the way we lost her. She was absolutely fine and was on her 3rd visit back to Poland since she had left when she was a child. I got a phone call one Saturday morning to tell me that she was not well and had been taken to hospital, within an hour I had another call to tell me that she had gone. To think of it now still takes the breath out of me. She was vivacious and strong, I thought she would live forever. I felt so helpless, she was so far away and it all seemed like a nightmare. I had always envisaged her coming to live with me in her later life. It was my stepdad who was the ill one, not expected to live for that long. Mum and I had talked and we were going to put an extension on our house if anything happened to him, so Mum wouldn't have to live alone. In the end he outlived Mummy by almost 10 years. Mummy died in the same hospital she had been born in, theres a saying and a song isn't there, "the circle of life". Mum certainly completed the circle.

So, having completely depressed myself, I am now posting Part 6 - enjoy xx

Soon the children in my class were preparing for communion.

I saw a lovely pair of shoes in the shoe shop. They were patent leather with flaps coming together in the centre over a cut out and tied up with laces with knobbles on them. I would get mother to come shopping and drag her to the shoe shop. I would point them out, keep telling her about them but she bought me a dull leather shoe with a bar going across. I was very disappointed. I was broken hearted when I saw them on Gise. It spoiled all my communion.

I went to the altar rail knowing I was going to be pure, a different person. But all I could think of was those shoes.

After the service we were taken to the photographers. We would have a photo taken together - Gise and I to keep forever as a keepsake of our great and wonderful day. We would look back in years to come when we were both ladies and remember that we had even been friends when we were little.

My heart was not in it. She had my shoes on. She had a step-father but she still got those shoes.

Mother was quite cross with my sulks by that time. She pushed me to the centre with Gise who was happy and pleased. I tried to smile but then I thought I must try to make myself look good if I’m to look at this picture forever.

While the photographer was getting ready I had to decide quickly which of my faces I would have. I’d practised for hours in front of the mirror my faces. I would not do the smiling ones because I had no front teeth.

I had a whole collection I could go cross eyed and pull my lip under. If I squeezed my eyebrows over my eye lashes all my eyelids stuck up with the eye lashes curled in between the folds of my eyebrows.

I could do my side face, turn my whole face until my mouth was on the side and only the side teeth showing - and frighten myself my speaking in a hoarse voice. Even with full side teeth I don’t think my mother would have liked that one.

I would make a face mouth turned round in the corner like a frog, jutting my tongue out in flicks. [Oh, I do remember her doing this face for us]

After thinking over hastily my repertoire I decided to let my jaw hang loosely.

The photo came out with me with a lantern jaw and Gise with her shoes looking lovely.

I don’t really like to look at myself and her remembering our great day!

[Mum is on the left in the photo above]

After the photographs and dinner we (the holy ones) all set off together with the priest and attending ladies for a picnic.

We were given a bag of goodies - rolls with garlic sausage, cakes, oranges and sweets. A nice time was had by one and all.

[Mum went back to Austria a few years before she died. She made her way back to Berndorff to the see the old ‘block’ (house) where she had lived. Guess who was still living there in one of the flats … yes it was Gise. They had not seen each other for over 60 years. Gise had never forgotten Mum either. Mum was overjoyed to find her old friend and spent a day with her, it was lucky as had Mum been a day later she would have missed her friend as Gise was going away on holiday the next day - it is all fate. Anyway, Mum went back the next year and they had a few days together. The little photos at the beginning of my entry, show Mum and Gise together again and one of them outside the Block, the same place that Mum lived as a little girl when she was friends with Gise). Mum took some pictures of Gise’s flat when she visited her and the walls were all covered with antler’s horns. Now I must really search those photos so I can put that one in too. ]

Mum and Gise outside the Block (Mum on left) - see the marks from shellfire sustained in the war on the walls

Ahh, heres Gise on the left and Mummy on the right, back on the streets of Berndorff.

Well, I have messed around with all sorts of things to get these photos on and the last two I have managed to do with photo bucket.

Have a great day everyone.

Terry x

Part 5 - Mummy's Memoirs

2006-10-21T00:20:00.000-07:00

Here is Part 5, hope you enjoy.

We children used to collect may flies in match boxes, hoping to find the largest. We would compare them with whose was the largest, fattest, whose could walk the quickest. They were like big beetles, brown in colour with large soft wings. They would fly around and it was quite easy to catch them, they were so large and clumsy.

I would be busy catching as many as I could. Mother did not like them, so I was not allowed to bring them into the house. I would let them go in the evening, so in the morning the work would have to begin again in case I met someone with a larger collection of may flies than I had.

Strolling players and gypsies would come round. They would come and play musical instruments. There would be bears on chains that would dance. Great big bears, their mouths all dribbling. We would stand around but watchful that the bear would not get too near. Sometimes big boys would throw stones at the bear. They would run behind it pelting it with stones. The bear would make horrible noises, and I would be sure somehow he’d loosen his chains and get hold of me. All the people in the house would come to watch these entertainers. Then one of them would go round with a hat for a collection .

The town we lived in was called Berndorff which means the village of the bears. In the place where the last bear had been caught was erected a stuffed bear in a cage.

The town was surrounded by mountains. There was a big mountain just past the town, it was mostly forest and at the top was a pub where people would rest for refreshments. Children were allowed in pubs in Austria, food would be served. In the evening there was singing and dancing.

Big groups of yodellers would sing and zithers and violins were played. It was very gay.

We would go out on Sunday and walk all day. Some of the mountains had caves in them and big boys would climb inside them popping out high above and disappearing again and then coming out again until they reached the top of the cliff. I would want to do it too but mother would not let me.

At the end of Summer the women in the block would take great bags and go together to the forest. In a clearing there were blackberries, miles of them it seemed to me. They would pick the berries for the whole day.

I would help too, eating and picking until I was tired, then I would go into the Great forest with my friends. It was beautifully shaded with big pine trees, some of the trees had little pots under them to catch the rubber, a hole was made and a ridge of the bark was cut up.

There were beautiful flowers in the forest, pink bells like fuchsias and mushrooms but without Mother I would not pick any in case they were poisonous.

Great deer could be seen, you’d come of them standing stiff with great antlers on their heads. I used to long to stroke one, but as soon as you even flickered an eye they would bounce off.

The blackberries would be cooked and preserved for the winter. I don’t remember eating any other jam but blackberry.

My favourite food was large slices of rye bread with pork dripping and paprika sprinkled on it.

We would cut off the green tops of onions, pinch some of mother’s washing powder, stir it with water in a cup and blow bubbles with the green stalk of the onion. We played with hoops, yo-yos, tops. I especially liked a top with a ridge in the centre which would be put on a string which was held with sticks and the string pulled up and down, the top would spin. If it spun quickly enough you could even throw it into the air and catch it on the string again.

I went to kindergarten too in Austria but don’t remember much about it.

At seven children went to school. I was very excited. There were the school books to buy, pens, pencils, a wooden pencil box with a slide top for the pens and pencils. Ink and books for writing in. But the best of all was the dark brown leather satchel. It had straps of leather at the back, so you put your arms through each of the straps and you carried it on your back.

Everything smelled wonderful. I sniffed and sniffed. The leather of the satchel, the smell of the books, pencils and pen and ink. I don’t remember all that much of school. It was a tall old-fashioned building in the town centre.

Before school Mother would send me in the co-op shop to buy crisp rolls which we would eat with cocoa made with milk. She would cook that on a small mentholated cooking machine. The smell of the meths and cocoa rolls with butter. It was lovely. Then I’d be off to school.

One day I was throwing snowballs, I hit a girl. She was very cross and threw snowballs back at me but we became great friends. Her name was Gise John. She was my very best friend. She lived in the next block in our road. We were inseparable. I used to sneak my sledge out in the morning and she would be waiting. We would ride the sledge to school. One would sit on, the other would push and then climb on the back seat when the speed was fast enough. We would leave the sledge in the bushes outside the school. Mother had said sledges weren’t allowed in the school, and did not know I took mine.

Milk was brought for break-time but I did not like it although the small bottles looked so nice, I could not drink it. It made me feel sick.

I soon learned to read and write, the reading book was mostly fairy stories - Hansel and Gretel, the goat with the seven kids and the wolf etc. I would read and read. I read everything I could get my hands on.

One day a piece of paper was put through the door. I read it eagerly, you could pay so much a week to be cremated. Easy terms. No worries to relatives when you died. It would all be paid for.

I could not understand it. What was cremated? I rushed upstairs to Frani - “what is cremated?”. Why would the relatives have worries when you died?

“Burn you”! I could not believe it! Supposing you were not really dead, what would happen then?

Even if you die your soul still lives, if they burned your body the would die. I was horrified. I went cold and numb all over. I had not thought of death for so long. I could not die. I would not be burned. I remember going to the cemetery, there were apart from the graves walls with little doors on them with the person’s name, date of birth and death engraved on them. A little stand or rack to hold flowers in. I used to wonder how small the little cupboards were but decided they must hold very tiny children.

Now I knew. They held ashes in a vase. If their relatives went abroad they could be taken out and taken with them.

I shuddered! For weeks after I used to lay in bed and think about dying and being burned. I’d see the coats at the back of the door moving and I knew it was the devil after me, trying to make me die. I’d scream and my mother and father would come and take me into the kitchen and give me bread and milk. Then father would carry me into the bedroom and put me into his bed.

I would turn my back to him and he would hold me. I would talk until I was tired then say “I’m going to dreamland, dream of me”. So I would fall asleep but every morning I would be back in my hated bed again. The clothes on the back of the door would be clothes again. I was very good for a long time, to show them if I died I was too good to burn.

It seems my mum was fascinated by death at a very young age!!!

Catch you later.

Terry

Paul O'Grady

2006-10-18T13:06:00.000-07:00

As some of you noticed I deleted my entry about him last night.

I got an email last night from the TV company, and it said that Paul would not be doing any shows because he had a week off and that various guest presenters would be covering him. The email didn't come until 10.30ish and I thought omigod, how could they let me know so late. Poor Audrey over the road who I was going with was fast asleep and I was really dreading having to tell her that she would not be seeing her beloved Paul O'Grady after all the excitement and anticpation over the last few weeks. She has not been well either and then her brother in law has taken ill, so its been up and down whether it would be ok for her to come anyway. I knew she really wanted to go as he is her idol although it seemed like all the elements were conspiring against it. But ... when I last spoke to her last night, she was raring to go, had got her hair done and had planned her ensemble! We had made our arrangements final and we were leaving early, so we could fit in loads of other things too as she hasn't had a trip up to London for quite a long time.

So, I sent a terrible email to the TV company, ranting and raving that we had been looking forward to it, how could they not let us know earlier, that my friend would be so terribly upset etc, etc. I then sent my sister an email carrying on and also I then posted an entry on my journal ranting on and on! My husband refused to speak to me any more about it as I was being boring - ooooh!!

Then .... I looked at the email again and then checked my tickets ... the dates they were talking about were next week. Well my hot flush faded as quickly as it had come. We were safe ... it was next week that he wouldn't be there so we would see him after all. Husband's comment was "silly cow". I was past being upset by name calling though.

I hastily deleted my entry with very red cheeks and then sent an email to my sister ... oh what a embarrassing moment, eh! I then sent a really grovelling email to the TV company but checked the tickets and saw they had no numbers or anything to identify me personally, otherwise I think they would have said "stop that woman", she can't come in.

After all the excitement, I couldn't get to sleep so sat up until 1 a.m. and boy have I suffered today because I had to get up at 6.30 to get the kids organised for school.

And did we enjoy Paul O'Grady. Not 'alf! Audrey even managed to get his attention by waving her Liverpool Scarf in the break and he blew her a kiss, he made her a very happy woman.

She did marvellously today - we have been to Oxford Street where she bought some new clothes from BHS and then had a little make over with make up in Debenhams.

We then had coffees from a small cafe in a little side street off Oxford Street where they had the cheek to try to charge us a discretionary service charge of 10% (making the cost of two coffees almost £6 and the waitress said we had to pay it when we refused! I pointed out the word discretionary and she didn't seem to understand it! Then she got her revenge as she didn't bring the sugar I had asked for!! The ladies on the next table took the charge off too, we almost caused a mini revolution! The other ladies gave me their sugar, so I was happy in the end. Did we pay the charge, NO! I would have probably given a tip if it wasn't forced on me. Hmmphh. Audrey made me giggle when she asked those ladies if they were going to see Paul O'Grady too!

We then took a taxi to Covent Garden as I thought it best to give Audrey a bit of a break from the steps in the underground but it was a bit of a problem getting her in and out of the taxi. I never thought but if you are a bit stiff they are really hard to get in and out of.

We had a lovely meal at Maxwells, my favourite restaurant there. We had seats outside and people watched. We had a lovely waiter, who couldn't have been more pleasant and sweet to us and he was rewarded with a very nice tip. See we are not that bad really.

We had a little wander round and I was surprised that not many entertainers were about, only a few jugglers and people pretending to be statues. Even the little market that is normally full of bric a brack was full of punky things but I was pleased to find a little red and black jumper amongst them which I knew Rosie would love (she is a Beano fan).

We then made our way back to Covent Garden Tube. Audrey was full steam ahead after her lovely meal and rest. We decided to get off at Shepherds Bush Tube Station and to walk around to the Television Studios near White City Tube Stn. We had a pleasant walk, stopping in a charity shop on the way!

We got to the TV Centre about an hour earlier and I was surprised to see a massive queue. It seemed we were the last ones there for a while and I wondered how long all these people had been queuing? I was shocked that we only just managed to get in. Some people were told they couldn't come in as the capacity audience had been reached. I felt so sorry for them but when I checked the back of the ticket I realise they had covered themselves for the event of there being too many people. So the golden rule is get there very early if you are going to one of these shows. Apparently they want a full audience and always send out more tickets than seats in the studio, so there are always some disappointed people.

Jade Goodey was on the show and I like her so was very pleased to see her. She looked absolutely stunning, she is really pretty. She has a cute new hairstyle and is really slim although she still has big boobs. I watched Jade's PA programme the other night and she really has lost a massive amount of weight.

There was also a chap on that does something called River Cottage and was talking about eating animals testicles but I found him very boring and could feel myself nodding a bit!

Paul O'Grady was charming and he is a complete professional and I really enjoyed the show. He has a sweet little dog who was on earlier in the show and it was wagging its tail enjoying itself. I can't imagine my dog liking being on there when everyone claps and makes a noise. He would be really frightened. As I had never seen the show before I didn't even know how long it was going to go on for but I think we were there for almost 2 hours. I also think the show went out live today so if anyone saw us we were sitting at the back of the audience. I think Audrey waved her scarf around a few times and she looked very glam with her new make over!

We were really lucky getting home. One tube to Liverpool Street and straight onto a train back home. We were both back indoors with our feet up by 7.40 which is not bad going as we left the TV Studio at 6.15!

Anyway, off to rest now. Next time I get an email from anyone about something I am going to do I will check the date carefully before I scream.

Catch you later.

Terry

Putting the big photo on again

2006-10-15T04:14:00.000-07:00

Hope this is clearer but as I can't control it, I'll delete this photo soon. Mum is the one in the pretty dress, with lace on the collar in a v shape, third row back on the right, she is standing. Ahh she was so pretty.

Terry

Mummy at school

2006-10-15T03:56:00.000-07:00

Heres a picture of mum, standing three rows back, she is third from the left with the lovely patterned dress with lace in a v neck collar.

I tried to post this on the last entry but I just couldn't control it. Thanks Linda for the new advice, it seems I am not that great at controlling anything here at the mo!! I feel really thick. Trying to put this one on and it just goes in a separate window and I can't get hold of the corners. I thought it was because the last entry was too large that it went in the separate window, but here it is doing it again, so I am just going to do this as an add picture although it is harder to see.

Mum's Memoirs - Part 4

2006-10-15T03:48:00.000-07:00

I hope you enjoy this part of mummy's memoirs - I did.

The summers were lovely. I could not wait after the hard winter for the day when the sun came out and I could take my shoes off and go barefooted. It was so thrilling going down the freezing concrete stairs, the stairs growing colder and colder under my feet as I went down to play. Then the stones in the yard! Every stone seemed to cut a fresh wound with every step. I would stub my toes on anything but I would not put my shoes on. It would be heavenly to sit down and give relief to my feet but this was what I had waited for so long, pleading with my mother, refused so many times. The pain was really part of the pleasure.

After a few days I forgot my feet. I only put my shoes on to go to church. Then the shoes were agony, hot and tight. The relief of taking them off and letting the warm air flow and calm the ache.

The washing in the house was done in a communal wash room. Large concrete tubs with fires underneath would boil the clothes, then the clothes would be put in large wicker baskets and carried down to the river for rinsing. A hut ran across the river with half the floor cut out and a ledge. Ladies knelt along the edge and opened the clothes to let the river water rinse them. I wanted to help too but mother would not let me. I would fall in and no-one could swim to get me out. But I kept on trying to join in when she wasn’t watching. When she caught me at it I would get a big thump and I would run out of the hut screaming. One day after a extra hard wallop I ran out crying and bumped into a tree with my nose. I thought I’d broken it. I was stunned! I ran back to mother but she only gave me another smack for not looking where I was going. After that I did not bother going with the washing. It was useless, she would not let me help her and I got more smacks there than at anything else. Mother was always short tempered. She was not well, something to do with her stomach. She was always taking medicines. She could not go to the toilet. I think it was around that time she became a senna pod fiend. There were always cups of senna pods in water. She would not eat and was very thin.

[After granny died, we filled a whole dustbin with her prescription senna pods].

I was thin too. I was not interested in food. Lunchtime I was cooked special soup made from bacon bones and pearl barley. Pearl barley was good for me to restore my appetite. I just couldn’t bear it. The soup would be put down in front of me as first course. Great big plate of it. If I did not eat it I would not get anything else and I would not go out to play!

I would get a spoon, and in desperation put it into my mouth. The pearl barley would go round and round in my mouth but I could not swallow it. The strong bacony taste would make me feel sick. I would starting retching - father would hold my chin and command me to swallow it. The next spoonful would take even longer and tempers would get shorter. The soup would get colder, I would end up crying, looking at the pattern of the old table cloth I would blubber away. I still remember the blue squares of that cloth with flowers within the squares with wooden pieces nailed around it to keep it from fraying. I would sit there for hours, until I found they had lost interest and I would sneak out when they weren’t looking.

Their friends would praise their children to me. How much they ate, and how strong they were. They made me feel bad that I did not eat big plates of soup like their children. I’d think I can do it - until the next meal.

I was a great trial to my mother. She seemed to have no understanding, whatever I did, it was wrong, nothing made her happy. She was always downcast and miserable. She would not let me go out to play if she could help it. I used to look out the window after the rain and see the children making dykes out of the mud and die to get out, I’d beg her to let me go but she would get an old shoe box and pieces of material to make a bed of it and coax me to play with it. I’d sit at the window watching the children, pretending to play with the box. She would get flour bags made of cotton, on which I would draw flowers and patterns. I was quite keen on embroidering them and armed with the flour bags and embroidery silk would say I would much rather sew them in the yard with the sun. So she would come with me. There were wooden benches in the yard. The yard was big. The houses were built in a square around the yard. Around the outside of the houses there were gardens allocated to the tenants. In the road grew walnut trees and in the autumn whole families turned out to knock the walnuts down. These were gathered and shelled and stored for the winter in the lofts which were also used for drying clothes when the weather was bad.

We had two rooms, the windows were double. In the winter it was very cold. When we woke up in themorning the snow was higher than men. Tunnels were built where people could walk.

I had two great ambitions at that time. Wellington boots with zips up the side and a sledge.

I got the boots and the sledge for Christmas. I was so thrilled. I took the boots upstairs to show Frani. Her lover was with her. He too showed great keenness for my boots, pulling the zip up and down and making a great fuss of them. Then he asked me could he have them. I had thought how wonderful he was to appreciate them so much as I did but when he asked me for them I was stunned. How could I refuse? I said he could have them, hoping he was joking and would not take them at all.

He put on his coat and hat, put the boots under his arm and said “Good night”. I heard him going down the stairs. Would he come back? I waited listening for his footsteps to return. He did not come back. I shot to the door, down the stairs, out of the house and then I saw him, I was sobbing with fright that I would not find him or my boots.

By the time I reached him I was howling noisily. He turned round and saw me. I cried “I want my boots”. He gave me them back and we both returned to the house. They all thought it was very funny. I liked him.

On my sledge I would spend hours on the hills. At first even the smallest ride would fill me with fear. After a few rides I got better and bolder, higher and higher I would climb, until I reached the highest part of all. Even then the slide was not steep enough. I found another higher hill with dips in it and I would spend hours and hours on it. Once I crossed a lake with big hills surrounding it. I climbed to the highest hill, lay on my sledge and down I went. When I reached the lake the sledge did not stop. It carried me round and round. I clung to the sledge praying it would not overturn, I had never gone so quickly and I was very frightened.

After a few goes and when the sledge overturned I got a few bruises but even that became tame. But by the time that passed the winter would be nearly over. I was quite cowardly and each winter I would have to go through the same process. The courage I had had the winter before had gone, even the small slides would be frightening.

The spring would arrive, with Easter. In the shops on display weeks before were Easter Rabbits made from chocolate. Spring lambs made from white and pink sugar with sugared flowers on the lamb’s head, they were very beautiful. Small speckled eggs with cream inside were the only Easter eggs made.

Mother would boil eggs in onion skins - they would turn a beautiful orange brown. Easter morning the table would be set with the brown eggs in the centre, salt on a plate. The eggs were taken in the hand and we would crack them against each others. It was a great thing if you happened to have such a hard skinned egg that everyone else’s egg cracked.

Then after Easter on Sundays people would go for long walks into the country. Miles and miles. Then they would settle for picnics. Big baskets of food would be taken and lemonade for the children, beer and wine for the grown ups.

There would be music, harmonicas, zithers and even a fiddle. Most of the men wore lederhosen. Short leather trousers with embroidered braces, long grey socks and a pork pie hat with a big shaving brush on the side.

Everyone would sing. The yodelling was fantastic. I’d yodel as loud as I could but mother didn’t like me doing it, so I would keep out of her way. Later in the afternoon, rested with fortified wine and beer, they would dance.

In the early evening we all would wander home. Father would have to carry me. I used to be too sleepy to walk.

Photo

2006-10-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it still looks like a wedding photo to me. Anyway, how can I make these pictures appear smaller as they are coming out bigger than the actual photos, so I need advice urgently. Thanks a lot.

Terry

Photo mentioned in Part 2

2006-10-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

Well, after a lot of fiddling and carrying on, I have managed to scan a few photos in. Here is the one I referred to in part 2 of mum's memoirs. Mum and her parents are on the far right. I have searched the house for this and it was in my little girl's photo album .... argh!

Hope you find it as interesting as I do. As I said before, I thought she was at a wedding. She is on the far right, leaning on her mother's knee. Her mother doesn't look that thrilled either. Her father is standing behind her mother. Its all as she says, hair curled and looking a bit miserable. Ahhh.

Terry

Being technical

2006-10-14T03:08:00.000-07:00

Linda has tried to help me on this as I am trying to insert photos with my journal. Now I find my printer/scanner isn't working - arghh! Oh, well, lets hope I can get that sorted out before I post the next entry of my Mum's memoirs.

Anyway, I have found a picture to try to put on here. Its quite a sweet one. Its me and my brother, Peter, many years ago in our little paddling pool. The dog is Tammy, a dear little dog we had whilst we were growing up, who used to come everywhere with us, even up and down the big slide at the local park. She used to be so funny, all the men would be playing football and in she'd go and steal their ball! Ahh, happy days! I hope I can manage to get this picture on. Fingers crossed and here we go.

Catch you later,Terry

Reading and Liverpool

2006-10-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

I am really a bit of a bookworm but nothing too heavy. A War and Peace Girl I certainly ain't!

I do like reading autobiograpies but have a particular love of novels which take place from the 1950s onwards. I am not keen on historical novels.

I thought I'd just mention a couple of books I had read lately as I would recommend them for a good read.

Firstly I read Olivia Goldsmith's "Wish upon a Star" recently. I really enjoyed it, it was an easy read although a little far fetched at times. The story starts off in Manhattan and then moves to London. I was really sad at the end of the book to read that it had been Olivia's last novel as she had died shortly after completing it. She was American and it seems she really loved London. She wrote "The First Wives Club" and in total she wrote 11 novels, so I will have to catch up on the others.

At the moment I am reading "Kitty and her sisters" by Maureen Lee. Maureen Lee came from Liverpool and all of her novels are based in that area although I believe she lives in Colchester, Essex now. I first bought one of her novels when my husband, Paul and I took a weekend trip to Liverpool. It was great, we had afternoon tea and cakes at the Adelphi, which is a very famous Liverpool hotel and then we took a ferry across the mersey from Albert Docks - just across the way from the famous Liver Bird building, which I think is the headquarters of an insurance company. Of course I had to sing that song and then to my surprise they played it over the tannoy too. Paul and I are such Beatles fans, and it was such a thrill for us to be there. We went on the magical mystery tour bus with a lot of Japanese tourists and we went to all the houses where the Beatles had lived and had a wonderful tour all round, past "Penny Lane" and then on to "Strawberry Fields", each time all trooping off the magical mystery tour bus (of course it was bright yellow!!!) and then back on again. Then we took ourselves off to the Cavern, where I almost fell down the stairs. It was a tiny place, and it stank of pee! Mind you, we can say we have been and it was a wonderful weekend. Anyway ... I have gone off the track here. Maureen Lee - her books are wonderful. I bought my first Maureen Lee book at Albert Dock from the RNLI shop where they were also selling other things from Liverpool apart from theRNLI stuff. It was called "Stepping Stones". I knew from the first few lines that it was my sort of book. She is one of my favourite authors and I can highly recommend her. I am thoroughly enjoying "Kitty and her sisters" and keep nearly missing my stop on the train. Be glad when I blimming finish it!

Coincidentally, my good friend Audrey (she is a bit of a mum figure to me and has been like a gran to the children) is from Liverpool. She is 74 and is mad keen on Paul O'Grady and I have managed to get TV tickets for next Wednesday at White City to see him record the show. I haven't seen his show as its on when I am at work but she watches it faithfully every week. She says she is going to make a big badge so he will notice her! She hasn't been too well lately and I hope she will be well enough to go as we'll have to take the train and tube. She is a great girl and I am sure we will have a great laugh. She is very loud and I bet if we do get there she will make sure he stops and speaks to her. I think the show is televised a week or so later after recording so I'll let you know when it will be on. I do hope he is not too up himself and is nice with the audience as she will be disappointed in him otherwise.

Catch you later.

Terry

Mum's Memoirs, Part 3

2006-10-10T14:43:00.000-07:00

Part 3 of my mum's memoirs

I'd like to say thanks for the comments. As I have said previously I know my mum would be thrilled to know that others are enjoying these.

Mother would spend hours gossiping with the neighbours. She liked Mrs Shefayk best. They had several daughters who crocheted for a living and made hats in a room at the top of the house, they would let me watch them. They had models of heads without faces and draw the crochet work over it and stretch it, pressing with an iron on a damp cloth.

Frani and Sofie did not earn much. Frani had a lover. A married man who was always visiting them. His hair was thinning and the front had long bare ridges going up. I used to wonder about his hair. Perhaps he was born with it like that or perhaps it was shaved. If I were him I wouldn’t have it like that. I couldn’t think why a pretty girl like Frani would want a lover like that. He was quite old, nearly as old as father.

I was quite fascinated by hair at the time. Mother wore her hair in a bun at the back of her head. She would take out all the long pins, and comb it, then plait it, then fold it round and round until it was a bun. Then those pins would go in. But where? After giving the matter a lot of thought I decided she must have holes in her head where the pins would fit.

At Xmas time there was great activity. The ladies all went round to a woman friend’s house who made chocolate for them. The chocolate was cooked from cocoa in a big pot. A large zinc bath would be brought into the kitchen and filled with snow. Little fancy forms would be laid in the snow and the chocolate spooned into the forms where it would soon freeze the chocolate. When it came from the forms it was lovely iced chocolate, cold and crisp.

St Nicholas and the devil would come around before Xmas. The devil was terrifying. All black fur with horns and a black tail, so long it was held up in his arms and chains to chain bad children to him to take to hell! He also carried a bundle to twigs to beat the children if the parents told him they were naughty. St Nicholas was all golden and white with a long white wavy beautiful beard, a bishop’s cap on his head and a staff like a shepherd.

The devil came first rattling his chains shrieking “Are there any bad children in this house?”. I would shake with fright! Mother would push me to him and he would ask me had I been naughty? Had I not listened to my mother and father? Did I swear? Hadn’t I gone to church on Sunday? He would try to take little swipes at me with the birch. I would solemnly swear that I had been very good, always listened to my mother and father and went to church and loved God, as I had been taught to say.

Then St Nicholas would push the devil aside and praise me for being so good. He would not let the devil take me. I was too good for him. So good had I been that he gave me apples and oranges and sweets.

Then he would tell me to be very good the next year, or even better, for next year he might not be able to stop the devil taking me.

It was quite an ordeal. Not like the tame English Father Xmas.

At Xmas we would decorate a large Xmas tree, right up to the ceiling from the floor.

Next morning I found a doll in a box beneath the tree. She was beautiful. Her name would be Emily. The most beautiful name for the loveliest doll. She had a china head with real hair. In fact mother’s black hair that she had cut and made up into a wig by a hairdresser. She had beautiful blue eyes that closed, a red open mouth and white teeth. Mother would not let me play with her all the time. I would have to put her back into the box and put it into the wardrobe.

I would remember her sometimes and with a sinking feeling think she must be dead. I could not remember when I had last fed her. I would get her out of the wardrobe and stuff food down into her mouth - eggs and pieces of bread. Then I would pour milk into her and I would feel at least she would not die.

Hope everyone has a nice week.

Terry